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April, 2024

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Fuck Im Stupid

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ejm
Posts: 794 - Karma: 196
Have you ever had a "fuck, im stupid moment"? I've had a few in the last couple of days. First I locked myself out of my truck at a gas station. That cost me $50 bucks for a unlock.
Then yesterday I forgot to put my tailgate down. Lost a few sand bags and my new ski poles. Wasn't pleased with myself.

And then today I was walking down my stairs with my laptop. I was draging the power cord because my cat likes to chase it. Well my foot. power cord. and cats tail collided, I tripped and sent my computer down a flight of 12 steps, got lucky on that one, both cat and laptop were okay.

Have you guys ever done somthing stupid that cost you, which could have easily been prevented?


inb4-Fuck, you and your thread are stupid!
Feb 24 2012 1:04AM
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Benseleit
Posts: 357 - Karma: 159

nothing comes to mind right away..but now i know my week is going better than yours. +k for making me feel good

Feb 24 2012 3:03AM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
One time I drove all the way from Cali to Utah to hit Chad's Gap until I remembered ski patrol blew it up. So I turned around and went home
Feb 24 2012 3:05AM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
Car was parked on an icy slope, I went to grab something out of it, started closing the car door at the same time I was backing out of it, lost my footing and somehow ended up slamming the car door on my head.

Another time, left a bar completely shitfaced with a glass, decided to throw it at a sign, over shot and the glass hardly broke. Being unsatisfied, I picked up the chipped pint glass to break it again, threw it, and sliced my finger in the process.

Playing baseball with my cousin, we decided to play with a basketball. Hit it as hard as I could with his aluminum bat, bat bounces off the ball and cracks me in the eyebrow, making me bleed everywhere.

I have more, I just have to remember them
Feb 24 2012 3:11AM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
Nice juxtaposition
Feb 24 2012 3:14AM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
I am confused, where was the juxtaposition?
Feb 24 2012 3:18AM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
was walking out the door to a final interview for the job i currently have(super competetive company), and i was balancing my coffee cup on my portfolio while shutting the door, and was thinking in my head that that wasnt a great idea.

well, i promptly spilled the whole coffee all over my suit jacket, shirt, and tie. mind you i only had like 2 dress shirts and 2 ties at this point, and i was obviously wearing the good looking setup.

I basically said, "well this is not going to go well today" went in, tried to clean up as best i could, changed, and went to the 3 hour interview reeking of coffee.
Feb 24 2012 3:19AM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
Taking a metal baseball bat to the head followed by "I have more just have to remember them."
Feb 24 2012 3:20AM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
There it is. Pretty much all I have to do to remember the stupid things I have done is look at my body, because just about every scar I have was gotten doing something incredibly stupid.

Just saw the one on my arm and remembered; when I was in the hospital in 1st grade I had staff, strep, and pneumonia all at the same time. After a few days I was finally well enough to walk around, so my mom was walking with the IV bag on wheels, and we went to go look at the fish. Bored with the fish, I started to walk away and the needle yanked out of my arm, I still have a scar that makes it look like I used to be a cutter.


One halloween when I was in like 6th grade and my brother was in 2nd, he dressed up as a woman for his costume. He was wearing high heels and looking at a mirror on my parents wall. I pushed his head and told him to kiss himself, and being inexperienced in heels, he falls forward and breaks the mirror, and my foot comes down on a piece of glass that went about a half inch straight in. That hurt, pulling it out hurt way worse.

Last and most recent scar I got while chasing my dog as she was running towards the highway after we let her out of the car at a gas station to go pee. Slipped on the ice and got a nasty scar on my elbow.

I have even injured myself in the seemingly safe act of performing cunnilingus, but I will spare you the details. It was worth it though
Feb 24 2012 3:30AM
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Olimar
Posts: 3535 - Karma: 4,070
One time on my way to school i started backing my car out of the garage before the garage door was up the whole way. Now there is a big dent on the inside.

Thats the only one that comes to mind right now.
Feb 24 2012 7:35AM
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CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
i locked my self out of my room last week, the night before i left my keys at a friends and had to get my door unlocked by the porter and a few nights later i left my phone charger at my friends and instead of crashing at his i stayed at a girls' flat (nothing even happened) then the next day my phone was dead and i couldnt contact him to get my charger back..
Feb 24 2012 7:44AM
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Tsands
Posts: 229 - Karma: 629
One day i was riding my bike on the side of the road.
A long bit of grass got stuck in the front break and was annoying me, so while i was riding i leant forward to grab the bit of grass and i somehow manage to put my hand into the spokes.
My hand locks up against the forks and i go over the handle bars onto the road,
The bit of grass probably could have waited :/
Feb 24 2012 8:17AM
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CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
lol'd
Feb 24 2012 8:25AM
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grahmcracker
Posts: 138 - Karma: 12
One time I ate a walnut. I'm allergic to walnuts.
Feb 24 2012 9:16AM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5884 - Karma: 3,502
juxtaposition- comparing two things by placing them next to
Feb 24 2012 9:23AM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11953 - Karma: 12,294
This is kinda related. Do you ever feel inanimate objects are out to get you? Anything with a cord ALWAYS seems to get hooked on something when getting pulled behind me. And I fond that power cords sometimes just and up wrap around my feet and try and trip me on purpose!!!!!
Feb 24 2012 9:35AM
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shane.t
Posts: 729 - Karma: 364
Wrote "fuck" on the gym floor at my school when they had new wax, somehow they found out it was me..
Feb 24 2012 9:43AM
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Alehandro
Posts: 818 - Karma: 12
I feel ya.

At the start of last summer I was drivin' back to the hometown with my roadbike on the back of my car on a cheap ass bike rack. I took a turn to sharp/fast and the top part of the bike rack came off of my car and I dragged the rack/my bike for like 2 miles before someone signaled for me to pull over. My music was blasting so I didn't hear shit. I felt like such a dumbass haha.

Luckily the bike was a cheap POS so it's all good
Feb 24 2012 9:48AM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147
This is hysterical.
Feb 24 2012 10:19AM
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colleenator
Posts: 885 - Karma: 60
stood behind my cousin while he was golfing.. metal gold club + forehead = stitches
Feb 24 2012 10:23AM
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DubV134
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 690
pics or it didnt happen... video would be better
Feb 24 2012 10:26AM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147
wrote an email to a co-worker ranting about how idiotic another person we worked with was...then accidentally sent it to the person I was ranting about.
Feb 24 2012 10:58AM
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colleenator
Posts: 885 - Karma: 60
i have a scar and no video. sowwie
Feb 24 2012 10:59AM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9411 - Karma: 10,798
I still feel like I'm correct in a literary sense but even so I don't care what the actual term is cause juxtaposition is close enough for me
Feb 24 2012 2:20PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
wake up tired as fuck

put on clothing

get to school

people laugh at you cause your shirt is on backwards and your tag is hanging out the front

...... sheeeeeit
Feb 24 2012 2:27PM
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GORILLA.
Posts: 1112 - Karma: 70
One time at my school I was bouncing this gel pen off of a brick wall in the hallway (which was white) and for no reason I decided to throw it as hard as i could. the shit exploded EVERYWHERE. huge black ink explosion on the wall, vending machines, and my friend's backpack. so i got the fuck out of there real quick hoping they wouldnt check the cameras.

they must not have cause when i got back the next day all the ink was gone, and i never got in trouble for it.
Feb 24 2012 3:31PM
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Prepreip
Posts: 168 - Karma: 12
One time I got arrested and thought 'fuck I'm stupid'
Feb 24 2012 4:18PM
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Hughes
Posts: 1023 - Karma: 940
left bag containing about 800$ worth of stuff at the top of a park. In my defense it was in the middle of nowhere, but needless to say it was nicked :/

Feb 24 2012 4:52PM
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Benseleit
Posts: 357 - Karma: 159
was looking to my right while walking into school, walked into a huge cement pillar had to get stitches. underrotated a backflip on a mini-tramp, landed on my shins, stitches in 4 spots. walking up to the side of the lodge at showdown to get my skis, slipped on ice, hit my face on the gutter, stitches. fuck i'm stupid
Feb 24 2012 5:00PM
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wreck.yoself
Posts: 656 - Karma: 46
this is golden
Feb 24 2012 5:11PM
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blackmamba.
Posts: 969 - Karma: 56
i ran a red light once
Feb 24 2012 5:12PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36714 - Karma: 110,910
Fuck you and your stupid thread.
Feb 24 2012 6:36PM
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ejm
Posts: 794 - Karma: 196
was waiting for that
Feb 24 2012 7:29PM
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
In the course of a week, i got caught stealing, got probation at school and my parents know my drug situation.
Feb 24 2012 7:31PM
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BmoChop
Posts: 2071 - Karma: 96
last week I cut my hand with a serrated knife because I decided it would be better to just hold the roll I was cutting instead of putting it on a cutting board.

When I was in elementary school I was rushing down the stairs so I would make it to school on time. There was a thermometer on the steps which somehow ended up embedded 1/2 inch through my foot.

In 6th grade My friend double bounced me on his tramp, got way more air than my noobish 12 year old body could handle, landed sideways on my ankle which promptly swelled up enormously (imagine a grapefruit cut in half, put that on top of the sticky-outy part of your ankle, thats what it looked like)

Feb 24 2012 7:46PM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
My friend was pissing me off by stealing my food after I told her to just wait a few seconds. Eventually, I got fed up with repetitively telling her to stop, so I knocked my bottle upwards that she was drinking at the time, which caused her to spit Dr. Pepper all over her self. She ran out of my schools cafeteria, and now keeps texting how I'm the biggest asshole in the world.

I feel kind of bad, seeing as she was one of my closer friends, but she is just acting like a bitch, so not many regrets. Plus, it was pretty damn funny.

This chick does stupid stuff to me all the time, like hitting me as hard as she can in the face with a yoga mat, or drawing dicks all over an essay that I needed to hand in.


Feb 24 2012 7:55PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,147
this is the best post I've read all day in many, many ways.
Feb 24 2012 9:06PM
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LDV
Posts: 516 - Karma: 25
I thought I was so smart fucking around with an axe. Combine that with cutting towards myself, and well I bled.
Feb 24 2012 9:34PM
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boyd
Posts: 217 - Karma: 256
i once dislocated my shoulder bootskiing
Feb 24 2012 9:48PM
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NSwidow
Posts: 888 - Karma: 3,219
Spilt cider on my new macbook, now it wont run on battery power.
Lost my go pro off my helmet while skiing.
And last night my ipod erased itself. Not my fault though.

I repel technology.
Feb 24 2012 9:52PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,535
Read this as "Clit Spider" and was like wait what the fuck?! Then I was like, Oh well that makes more sense.
Feb 24 2012 10:07PM
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squashmosh
Posts: 632 - Karma: 565
This sounds like gold how could you spare us?!
Feb 24 2012 10:14PM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 323
this... story time
Feb 25 2012 12:26AM
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saskskierftw
Posts: 898 - Karma: 62
Here's my story: I drive a 5 speed manual car. Last fall I was in the parking lot at my dads work. This parking lot is gradually sloped towards the brick building because that's where the water run-off flows. Anyway, I was about to leave, and as I was about 40 yards from the building I remembered I had to tell my dad something. So I stopped, and pulled the parking brake. Then I got out of my car and walked behind some cars to talk to my dad who was at his car. Next thing I know I heard a massive bang, and sure enough I see that my car has rear ended itself into a building.. FML. At least it was only some scratches, no serious damage..
Feb 25 2012 12:36AM
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Hamster.
Posts: 1636 - Karma: 26
hm.
Feb 25 2012 12:41AM
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EastCoast315
Posts: 3136 - Karma: 137
golden
Feb 25 2012 12:56AM
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KillaSteeze
Posts: 3329 - Karma: 351
wise choice
Feb 25 2012 2:32AM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,332
i feel ya bro. I'm on NS because instead of hanging out with this girl (who is my neighbor who i have cuddled with before) I was watching porn when she called. we decided that I would come over to her room in 5 min (approx 1:35 am). instead i watched the rest of the 18 min show and showed up about 13 min late. at that point she wasn't answering the door.

FML i'm an idiot.

Feb 25 2012 2:36AM
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bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 438
Got out of the shower an being cold went to literally jump into some sweat pants. There was a pair of pants on the floor with a belt and the part that goes through the hole in the belt was standing straight up. Came down and impaled my foot on it and had to literally pull it out. Couldn't walk for two days felt like such a chump.
Feb 25 2012 9:42AM
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KravtZ
Posts: 6637 - Karma: 2,629
bahaha your a fuckign idiot man....internet porn > real life
Feb 25 2012 10:01AM
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