Red Bull Unrailistic | LIVE Broadcast

Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

My own 5 reasons my skis are better than a girlfriend

profile picture
2L208
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 308
1 they don't say your cheating on them when you get on the internet and look at other skis
2 they don't let you have a good time then never let you again
3 they don't have wait till marriage till you can step in them
4 they don't bitch cause you smoke pot around them
5 they don't make some days a pain in your ass
Jul 29 2011 3:19AM
1 0
profile picture
[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 119
You guys do some kinky stuff eh?

Are you okay, is she gentle with your bum?
Jul 29 2011 3:21AM
0 0
profile picture
Canadaski
Posts: 190 - Karma: 10
haha real
Jul 29 2011 3:21AM
0 0
profile picture
Toasty.
Posts: 6195 - Karma: 2,278
you need some grammer lessons
Jul 29 2011 3:24AM
0 0
profile picture
JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,535
5 reasons my girlfriend is better than my skis:

1. i can fuck my girlfriend because she has a vagina
2. when was the last time my skis made me food?
3. my skis dont take care of me when i am hungover
4. i cant have a conversation with my skis
5. my girlfriend has a mouth and she utilizes it... frequently.

5 reasons my skis are better than my girlfriend:

1. My skis don't get pissed off when i smoke weed all day long
2. i can't use my girlfriend as a means to make it down a snowy peak and stomp tricks
3. my skis dont bitch at me about anything... ever
4. i dont have to buy my skis anything but bindings and the occasional wax job
5. when im not in town i don't have to call my skis to say goodnight.



Jul 29 2011 3:26AM
0 0
profile picture
Mr.Turtle
Posts: 3690 - Karma: 96
i actually view this as a positive
Jul 29 2011 3:34AM
0 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
6. if you lock your skis in your trunk, skis dont get mad. women do.
Jul 29 2011 3:38AM
0 0
profile picture
ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
hahha. surprised seeing this from someone other than ECB.
Jul 29 2011 3:44AM
0 0
profile picture
KillaSteeze
Posts: 3329 - Karma: 351
skis are a one time payment, women cost alot
Jul 29 2011 3:47AM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,455
I remember when i was 12/my first bowl
Jul 29 2011 3:56AM
0 0
profile picture
Jordan
Posts: 4079 - Karma: 2,122
You need some spelling lessons.
Jul 29 2011 5:23AM
0 0
profile picture
LivinOuttaBounZ
Posts: 949 - Karma: 382
haha, this post was more funny than the whole thread.


Jul 29 2011 5:31AM
0 0
profile picture
Gstrong
Posts: 4776 - Karma: 518
because i actually have skis


Click for larger image
Jul 29 2011 5:32AM
0 0
profile picture
freestyler540
Posts: 13046 - Karma: 18,292
too much truth in this thread...

Why skis are better than girlfriend:
1 Skis dont have parents with high standards
2 Skis dont make much a mess
3 Girlfriends crack more often than skis do
4 Skis already come permanently maded up
5 Skis are always ready when you are at the slopes!
Jul 29 2011 6:40AM
0 0
profile picture
4seasons
Posts: 452 - Karma: 27
6. skis can't make little baby skis...................................................
Jul 29 2011 6:48AM
0 0
profile picture
quaive
Posts: 1055 - Karma: 99
6. You can beat the shit out of your skis and they won't bitch or moan.
Jul 29 2011 9:04AM
0 0
profile picture
Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
but how fucking cool would that be? like if you broke a ski you could mate the working ski with another and experience ski rebirth...
Jul 29 2011 9:10AM
0 0
profile picture
Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627

yes you can, I do it all the time.  Before a big run sometimes I'm like "Aiiiight bitches, it's just you and me.  Let's show these fuckers what's good" I even blow hits at them sometimes to limber 'em up.   

And technically there's two skis so it's a threesome every time I step in.  Also skis were born to shut the fuck up, which I really really like. 

Jul 29 2011 9:11AM
0 0
profile picture
.Max.
Posts: 2930 - Karma: 701
I don't snap my skis when I land backseat.
Jul 29 2011 9:22AM
0 0
profile picture
Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Yeah but then there'd be a bunch of snowblades layng around...  And that means sooner or later people would use them and that would really suck. 
Jul 29 2011 9:27AM
0 0
profile picture
asapCferg
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 357
skiing> relationships
Jul 29 2011 10:08AM
0 0
profile picture
BuSkiz
Posts: 2240 - Karma: 65
I lost
Jul 29 2011 10:10AM
0 0
profile picture
EC-Skier
Posts: 3899 - Karma: 668
6. you dont have to wait over a year before you can ride skis
Jul 29 2011 10:44AM
0 0
profile picture
.tenderman
Posts: 124 - Karma: 11
dude my park skis get so jelly when i hit urbans on my urban skis.
they think urban is for trampy hoes
Jul 29 2011 10:46AM
0 0
profile picture
.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
When I want new skis I can leave the others in my basement without any law enforcement eventually stepping in
Jul 29 2011 10:49AM
0 0
profile picture
esotericjive
Posts: 1889 - Karma: 1,445
.
Jul 29 2011 10:50AM
0 0
profile picture
Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
but then they could grow into full sized skis
Jul 29 2011 11:02AM
0 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
skis dont get angry when you hang out with other skis
Jul 29 2011 12:15PM
0 0
profile picture
ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
My grandparents wont be dissapointed if I show up with black skis to dinner.
Jul 29 2011 12:21PM
1 0
profile picture
technique.
Posts: 1538 - Karma: 308
my skis can take a lot of abuse
Jul 29 2011 12:24PM
0 0
profile picture
muFFn
Posts: 1040 - Karma: 74
Ski don't go to the police if you bang them up a little.

You don't get jealous if your friend takes your skis for a "rest run."


Jul 29 2011 12:29PM
0 0
profile picture
PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
my pow skis dont get mad when they learn I prostituted some demo skis.
Jul 29 2011 12:29PM
0 0
profile picture
Jonny7
Posts: 3309 - Karma: 76
my skis love to grind on metal
Jul 29 2011 12:43PM
0 0
profile picture
POW-WOW
Posts: 1464 - Karma: 46
I can ride my skis all day, but not my girl.
I Can grind on my skis whenever.
My skis dont care(as much) when I dont shower.
I had a really good one but I forgot it, so just laugh like I remembered.
Jul 29 2011 12:50PM
0 0
profile picture
neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
bullshit free.
Jul 29 2011 1:04PM
0 0
profile picture
geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
lol!
Jul 29 2011 1:07PM
0 0
profile picture
razors-chaz
Posts: 2255 - Karma: 1,250
My skis dont moan like a bitch when i grab them alot.
Jul 29 2011 1:45PM
0 0
profile picture
skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
i can ride my skis before they're a year old.

my skis don't bleed when i ride them

if i were to say, put them in a garbage bag and lock them in my trunk they would still be good to go the next day.
Jul 29 2011 1:53PM
0 0
profile picture
plorr
Posts: 3131 - Karma: 529
bahaha
Jul 29 2011 1:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Petersaurusrex
Posts: 1380 - Karma: 80
My skis don't bitch when they find out I have more than one pair.
Jul 29 2011 1:54PM
0 0
profile picture
baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
dingdingdingding
Jul 29 2011 2:00PM
0 0
profile picture
LittleFoot
Posts: 1667 - Karma: 57
Yeah bro I get so much pussy, schooning bitches left and right dawg
Jul 29 2011 2:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Swaggermager
Posts: 2576 - Karma: 951
This thread is great!
Jul 29 2011 2:12PM
0 0
profile picture
ironic
Posts: 735 - Karma: 104

What about a girlfriend who can ski well?

Yes, I went there.

Jul 29 2011 2:58PM
0 0
profile picture
Thick.Black.Gurl
Posts: 492 - Karma: 28
7.) When I beat the shit out of my skis, I don't go to jail.
Jul 29 2011 3:22PM
0 0
profile picture
baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
My skis aren't afraid of hangin out in the woods.
Jul 29 2011 3:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Panda_with_Guns
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 1,620
you can ride your skis all day for6 months straight without them complaining that you only use them for sex. the day after you ride them they don't expect you to call reason why a gf is better then skis:they wax themselves before each use
Jul 29 2011 4:01PM
0 0
profile picture
CAPITA-DEVOURS
Posts: 1968 - Karma: 4
this thread is full of win.
Jul 29 2011 4:06PM
0 0
profile picture
Sam.Carson
Posts: 2884 - Karma: 35
ahaha
Jul 29 2011 4:07PM
0 0
profile picture
GavinW
Posts: 574 - Karma: 89
Great thread lol
Jul 29 2011 5:32PM
0 0
profile picture
razors-chaz
Posts: 2255 - Karma: 1,250
My skis are good to ride the day after i batter their sidewalls all day the day before
Jul 29 2011 6:09PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)