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March, 2024

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Condoms

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chris_yo
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
Alright guys so im 15 and i'll be having sex for the first time this weekend most likely and i have some Trojan Ultra Thin condoms. I read some reviews on them and i heard they break very easily and i don't want to freak out my girl on our first time. Anyone had any experience with ultra thins? What do you guys use?


I also don't want to pee in her butthole
Jun 1 2011 4:28PM
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DirtyDan
Posts: 1576 - Karma: 158
Get a Magnum XL
Jun 1 2011 6:36PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
You'd have to be a retard to not know how to put on a condom.


Ohhh snap, look at all those buck-toothed babies running around, scratching their third eyes with thier fourth arms, I guess it's just practice.
Jun 1 2011 6:40PM
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TaySwift
Posts: 3436 - Karma: 1,622
just use a snickers wrapper, i know for sure they protect more then trojans, and they smell like chocloat donkey sex after
Jun 1 2011 6:44PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
.... that was uncalled for, don't just assume people know how to do shit. I still read the fucking box of tampons to make sure i'm doing it right.
Jun 1 2011 6:44PM
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MrPantyDropper
Posts: 5016 - Karma: 65
ultra thins are the worst condom ive ever used..i bought a 12 pack and broke the first 3 i used..threw em out after that.

i havent had problems with any others except studded,ribbed, or any type of icy/warm sensation..they just suck

twisted pleasure, magnums, or raw dog are the way to go


Jun 1 2011 6:46PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
So, what? You're not considered a dipshit for not knowing how a condom works in the 21st century? An invention going as far back as the ancient Egyptians?

You still read the tampon box.... every time...?


I guess you are a bit fucking behind then. Good luck with that and you patting the backs of your fututre baby daddies as they didn't know how to properly roll back a latex tube on their cocks.




Or is Beezey an epic troll? I don't know, that's just utterly idiotic.
Jun 1 2011 6:57PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
I don't know man there are a couple different methods. Sometimes I unroll em and fill em with water before I put it on, don't want the little guy overheating in there while he's doing work namean? Or you can blow it up like a balloon before ya put it on for epic wide action. Or you can go triple crown and use an ultra thin under a regular under a magnum for supreme protection. Maybe you're just a noob in the ways of the profo.
Jun 1 2011 7:07PM
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caliskigirl
Posts: 393 - Karma: 67
I am sure the ones you have will be fine, but if you are worried get a different pack. Then, if you are good and she lets you bang her again, convince her to get on birth control so you don't have to use condoms, plus her boobs will get bigger which is bi-winning for you.
Jun 1 2011 7:09PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Well, I just use saran wrap and some duct tape.
Jun 1 2011 7:09PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
saran wrap is for sissies, straight duct tape on the rod for me. If you can't duct it, don't fuck it I always say.
Jun 1 2011 7:26PM
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blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
Either the guys you get with have Parkinson's, or are so ugly that if they're not inside you within five seconds you start sobering up and realizing how awful they are and get turned off.

These are your options.


Jun 1 2011 7:31PM
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wait.what
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529
Jump a random in the park, pull down their pants and raw dawg whoever, it's like warming up your pitching arm so you aren't pulled by the 3rd inning
Jun 1 2011 7:34PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
I'm leaning toward the second option.
Jun 1 2011 7:46PM
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CAPITA-DEVOURS
Posts: 1968 - Karma: 4
a normal condom should do the job. but creating this thread, probably jinxed your chances of this happening. sorry bro
Jun 1 2011 7:51PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
bro rip like 8 shots before you start railing her, you'll last twice as long...bro.
Jun 1 2011 7:54PM
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SPECK
Posts: 616 - Karma: 47
on a separate note. how do i get my girlfriend to go on the pill? i wanna go bare but shes scared that precum will get her pregnant (lol i broke the "just the tip rule").
Jun 1 2011 7:56PM
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Mr_Orange
Posts: 1024 - Karma: 154
ahahahahahahaah. ye dood for real sometimes your balls and sweat out semen during sex
Jun 1 2011 7:59PM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
hahahahahahahahhaha dying.
Jun 1 2011 8:03PM
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[tk]
Posts: 3863 - Karma: 1,906
your name is appropriate here
Jun 1 2011 8:05PM
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DGski
Posts: 3491 - Karma: 2,328
obvious alias is obvious. but seriously, no condom.
Jun 1 2011 8:07PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
I don't understand your question, but yes, pre-cum may have sperm in it depending on how your prostate works it up.

How to get her on the pill? Well, tell her to forget about PILLS! It's all about

a) The shot

b) The Ring


Look it up, make your claims and be happy raw-dogging it.
Jun 1 2011 8:10PM
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plorr
Posts: 3131 - Karma: 529
You are a very selfish lover.
Jun 1 2011 8:14PM
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chris_yo
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
nothing gets past you
Jun 1 2011 8:17PM
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.zobel.
Posts: 1614 - Karma: 124
NS is the most unhelpful website ever.
Jun 1 2011 8:18PM
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chris_yo
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
also shes getting on the pill in a few days but it isnt effective until a month of taking it so yeah
Jun 1 2011 8:18PM
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SPECK
Posts: 616 - Karma: 47
as in ive asked her and she said no. my question was ways to get her on the pill BUT THIS IS EVEN BETTER! lol i forgot about this bullshit, which ones better IYO
Jun 1 2011 8:20PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Troll for sex advice on NS.

Actually get some good advice.

"imma troll youuuuu ololoololol"

And the point was?
Jun 1 2011 8:21PM
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chris_yo
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
hahahahaha
Jun 1 2011 8:22PM
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SlimDunkin.
Posts: 2065 - Karma: 361
We better get abortionator. in here!!!!


Oh shi-


=(
Jun 1 2011 8:24PM
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chris_yo
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
im actually not trolling...i thought i would get good advice from atleast a few people, which i did so....
Jun 1 2011 8:25PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,500
Jun 1 2011 8:26PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,500
sorry dub post i was with a girl and didn't have one, so i asked this black guy and white chick in there car at a parking lot we were in and he gave me one of these.
Jun 1 2011 8:33PM
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cwillygood
Posts: 6831 - Karma: 1,829
hahaha
Jun 1 2011 9:04PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
You are seriously one of the biggest assholes on here. Yeah putting a condom on could be pretty obvious but there are some kids who are sheltered that may not know how. You are a fucking asshole.
Jun 1 2011 9:07PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
This is also really rude. I hate condoms I don't fuck random guys I always had a long term boyfriend and we didn't use condoms so i really don't lke them. and if you can't get the wrapper open in time or you fiddle around I'm out.
Jun 1 2011 9:09PM
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TuffGuy
Posts: 45 - Karma: 11
Candoms are for africans.
Jun 1 2011 9:15PM
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Blake.P
Posts: 9894 - Karma: 3,585
since when do people read condom reviews online? really?
secondly, you should get the biggest one possible. like black man size big. it should go past your knees, because, like the rest of the gear on this forum, it has to go past your knees
Jun 1 2011 9:16PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
I'm pretty sure you hit the asshole mark spot on. Haha, you truly are a moron.
Jun 1 2011 9:25PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
How the fuck am I a moron?
Jun 1 2011 9:26PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
You need to stop holding your head so high so you can see all the shit on your boots. Seriously your calling me a moron because i want a kid to know how to put on a condom properly and practice the first time? in all of your posts your so egotistical and self centered, because you are the one making yourself look like a moron.
Jun 1 2011 9:29PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
OMG like, there are, like people who, like, don't know how a condom works? [Rising intonation]
Jun 1 2011 9:31PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
So your going me an internet valley girl accent in a mocking imitation manor? Since when have I ever portrayed that you stupid fuck.
Jun 1 2011 9:32PM
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blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
So you've always had long-term relationships and never used condoms, and you claim that you don't hook up with randoms. You also maintain that if a guy can't get a dome on fast enough you leave. So, I ask you, who are these supposed guys that are fumbling with condoms that you walk out on?
Jun 1 2011 9:39PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
It's not like anyone is contesting the fact that you've sounded like an idiot since the first time you logged on NS...

C'mon now, tide goes in, comes out, can't explain that etc.

Same goes for your haphazard NS character.
Jun 1 2011 9:42PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
Begingin of long term relationships you have to have sex for a while before you trust each other to use birth control. Dome is also a term for head, not for getting a condom on. I also did not say I walked out on anyone i just become a lot less aroused.
Jun 1 2011 9:43PM
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Shlobby
Posts: 1665 - Karma: 303
If your not raaaw doggin radies your not living life
Jun 1 2011 9:44PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
get a thick condom that puts your dick in pain so you don't bust 20 seconds after entry. but seriously you're gonna finish quickly so if i were you i would invest in multiple normal condoms so you can put it in, bust instantly, and then go again and last for 20 minutes while she has tons of orgasms

my first time was without a condom and honestly for a first time i would've wanted something that felt less awesome because i came instantly
Jun 1 2011 9:44PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
I practiced like 6 times just now and i average getting ot out and on in 5.06 seconds which is pretty good can we fuck now?
Jun 1 2011 9:47PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Come
Snuggle for 5 mins
Come again
etc.

Who really cares what happens during the first time? For most it was just a "let's get this over with" thing.
Jun 1 2011 9:48PM
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blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
"if you can't get the wrapper open in time or you fiddle around I'm out" - Beezey

And I also know of plenty of people who have sex without condoms from the start of their relationship. So saying "have to" is simply incorrect and implies that your opinion is fact. Weren't you calling out Mike-O for being arrogant?..


Okay I'm done.

Jun 1 2011 9:53PM
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