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Death is upon us, May 21, 2011

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flaming_bases
Posts: 114 - Karma: 11
http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/



I was at my church group today, and our priest (usually really happy, good guy) was so scared and quiet. He showed us this, and we're all pretty scared right now. Im not sure what to think anymore.

Lets keep the bible bashing to a low, i want to show my church community some serious input. My priest said we only have so many hours to reconcile, and i agree
May 17 2011 9:28PM
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Algebra
Posts: 5215 - Karma: 1,677
Judgment day!!!!!!! We so fuckd in are patooters!
May 17 2011 9:28PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
if you truly believe it live the hell out of the next few days
May 17 2011 9:29PM
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los.pinguinos
Posts: 555 - Karma: 34
most rats enjoy peanut butter, and most hippos live in water
May 17 2011 9:29PM
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erejto64
Posts: 817 - Karma: 228
i clicked the link lol'd and X'd it out
May 17 2011 9:29PM
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H8CH
Posts: 2709 - Karma: 218
troll?
May 17 2011 9:29PM
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erboardsnow
Posts: 152 - Karma: 11
your argument is invalid.
May 17 2011 9:29PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
11,013 BC—Creation. God created the world and man (Adam and Eve).

I lost here.
May 17 2011 9:30PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
well i think im partying my face off this weekend for a buddy's birthday soooooo death may or may not be upon me already..
May 17 2011 9:30PM
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KillaSteeze
Posts: 3329 - Karma: 351
sorry i dont believe this
May 17 2011 9:31PM
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DirtyDan
Posts: 1576 - Karma: 158
It is said. Quickly everyone empty their patiala to me. I shall redeem you!
May 17 2011 9:32PM
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Funnel
Posts: 7808 - Karma: 1,414
You're worried about an event that won't happen?
May 17 2011 9:32PM
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buddychaps
Posts: 1817 - Karma: 583
You can't kill me i was born dead!
May 17 2011 9:32PM
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DirtyDan
Posts: 1576 - Karma: 158
I meant paypal. Fucking autoincorrect.
May 17 2011 9:32PM
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.Capn.
Posts: 1454 - Karma: 152
If you think the world is gonna end in 4 days, and your scared... do you really believe in heaven?
May 17 2011 9:35PM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5851 - Karma: 4,522
Sounds like I need to go party this weekend.
May 17 2011 9:36PM
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shocker611
Posts: 2599 - Karma: 423
haha im christian and still think this is bs.. although it would be cool
May 17 2011 9:37PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,540
dude same at church on sunday the priest was tripping! some made a joke like "so no mass next sunday?" priest said "no we will have it" guy said"but the worlds ending on saturday" im like oh shit
May 17 2011 9:37PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
Are you serious?

If Jesus ever comes back, he'll do it when he wants too. Not because something says he is.
May 17 2011 9:37PM
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Kangbang
Posts: 14211 - Karma: 423
As did I. If "God" created the world and Adam and Eve, then who created "God"?

OP, Why do you believe this? Just because some guy wearing robes said so?
May 17 2011 9:38PM
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BMB
Posts: 3138 - Karma: 232
Searchbar motherfucker
May 17 2011 9:39PM
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skier_boy26
Posts: 11295 - Karma: 502
So when May 22nd rolls around, and nothing happened, they will say it was a miscalculation or some bs.

Have people seriously forgotten all that Y2K hype? That was supposed to be it, but, um, nothing happened except a lot of people got incredibly drunk world-wide.
May 17 2011 9:39PM
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tall_t
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 15
how about no?
May 17 2011 9:40PM
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Kangbang
Posts: 14211 - Karma: 423
One more this to add.

If Jesus was "God's" son, why was be born 11,045 years after "God" created the world?
May 17 2011 9:40PM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62

11,013 BC—Creation. God created the world and man (Adam and Eve).


yeah, not very worried about this website
May 17 2011 9:43PM
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.Cal.
Posts: 354 - Karma: 66
I think this is bs..and I really dont understand young earth creationists.

May 17 2011 9:43PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
Technically some religions think God impregnated Mary by having sex with her, others think that he spiritually "put" Jesus in Mary's uterus, etc. It really has a ton of religious background and probably there are 15 people on here with different opinions on the whole situation so I'll say no more.
May 17 2011 9:44PM
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shocker611
Posts: 2599 - Karma: 423
if the universe was naturally created by a infinitely small particle, then what created the particle... WOAHHHHH.. how bout you stop acting like youve got everything figured out, cause none of us do
May 17 2011 9:45PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 36680 - Karma: 110,560
Is this thread a fucking joke?
May 17 2011 9:45PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,500
your dumb and i spelled it your instead of you're, because i knew your to dumb to notice the difference.
May 17 2011 9:45PM
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infedel_one
Posts: 5140 - Karma: 444
pfff stop worrying about it.
May 17 2011 9:46PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,844
didnt read the article but ill take your word this is part of it, and because of that i definitely am not interested in this thread

aaaalright




but BTW  the end of the world has been predicted hundreds of times based on things just like this
May 17 2011 9:46PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18212 - Karma: 12,257
nah dude.. maybe next year
May 17 2011 9:46PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
if anyone wants redemption for all sins i am an ordained minister through the united life church and can provide you a ticket to heaven for a reasonable fee. i accept cash, check, money order, all forms of credit, debit, google checkout, paypal, giftcards, stolen goods, children, precious stones, precious metals, company stock, raw materials,plots of land, property of any kind (business/residential/private/etc), valuable commodities, contracted work and any and all valid credit cards. if you can come up with a down payment im sure we could work out a plan.

remember this is guaranteed 100% for sure redemption. not a scam or joke. whats a small price to pay for an eternity not spent in hell?
May 17 2011 9:47PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
Exactly to the above post. The world has supposed to end a few times now


but that website its bullshit, just sayin.
May 17 2011 9:47PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
i bet this ones true.
May 17 2011 9:48PM
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tall_t
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 15
i see what you did there......
May 17 2011 9:49PM
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Kangbang
Posts: 14211 - Karma: 423
Wasn't Mary supposed to be a virgin? How the hell does god stay a live for over 13,000 years?
May 17 2011 9:50PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
Click for larger image
May 17 2011 9:50PM
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ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
"If you a scared motherfucker, go to church" - Ice Cube
May 17 2011 9:52PM
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Troy.
Posts: 5070 - Karma: 12,545
I am a man of God, but I don't buy into all the math that revolves around the bible.

I do believe in Jesus, and do believe that when the rapture comes, I will ascend. No, I'm not worried. If it happens, I'm set, if not, Earth time. If it is this weekend, I will be bummed.
May 17 2011 9:52PM
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ChadThundercock
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 785
complete bullshit.
May 17 2011 9:53PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
Yes, that's where shit gets weird. I don't fully know how to tell it from other religions standpoint but they way I was taught was that she never had sex with God but that he still impregnated her to carry his child.
May 17 2011 9:53PM
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Kangbang
Posts: 14211 - Karma: 423
Holy, "God" is like a super hero. He can have sex with women with out having actual sex with women.
May 17 2011 9:55PM
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flaming_bases
Posts: 114 - Karma: 11
thats honestly hurtful to my religion.

Not only am i scared, but i dont know what the fuck to do to redeem myself. IS THERE ANYONE IN MY POSITION?! and the rest of you realize you're all grass.
May 17 2011 9:55PM
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shocker611
Posts: 2599 - Karma: 423
this should be the last argument that you argue, if he can create the universe, im pretty sure he can find a way to pop his son into a girls belly
May 17 2011 9:55PM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
What religion are you, if I may ask?
May 17 2011 9:55PM
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oreopancake.
Posts: 2596 - Karma: 21
lolwut
May 17 2011 9:56PM
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ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
Also, your link says that the world was created 13,000 years ago. If you are dumb enough to believe that, then I guess you are dumb enough to believe the rest of this horse shit.

Too stupid to understand science?...... Try organized religion.
May 17 2011 9:57PM
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reverendwrong
Posts: 3145 - Karma: 142
From the pamphlet thingy:

"The Lord has opened up His people’s understanding to the “Biblical calendar” found on the pages of the Bible. The genealogies of the book of Genesis, primarily in chapters 5 and 11, can be shown to be a precise calendar of the history of mankind in this world. The Bible’s calendar of history is completely accurate and trustworthy."

last sentence gave me epic lulz

I was listening to this story on NPR, the guy has "predicted" the apocalypse before (september 1994) and was wrong...he then changed his stance to that date being the beginning of the end and that this is the end.

Sure there are a few things that could possibly happen: yellowstone erupting, other active volcanoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, donald trump being elected president...you get the idea, its all things that COULD happen but cannot be scientifically nailed down to a specific date and all require a build up in activity that we would we be seeing 4 days in advance. Yeah you can go with the "gods will" excuse...but we all know how well that worked with the "snowstorms are gods way of preventing homosexuals from getting to where need to be to preform homosexual acts" statement
May 17 2011 9:57PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,540
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May 17 2011 9:59PM
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