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April, 2024

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Searchbar shit should of been done (passing drug test)

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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
Hey guys, I have a drug test next week for a job I can get if I pass. This drug test even has a tempature reading, I failed last time. I used someone else's urine but it wasn't warm enough, then I had to try again myself wasn't warm enough(odd). I just want to know if anyone has used any kind of detoxer or anything like that. Please help meh
Mar 12 2011 1:45PM
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CharlieSheen
Posts: 173 - Karma: 10
lol
Mar 12 2011 1:46PM
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.seb.
Posts: 1291 - Karma: 597
cranberry juice a lot of water. PEE PEE PEE
Mar 12 2011 1:49PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
I forgot to mention, its in a week and there is no way I would pass in a week.
Mar 12 2011 1:50PM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7710 - Karma: 2,849
....
Mar 12 2011 1:52PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
why dont you just not fuck up this time and heat your friends piss up enough
Mar 12 2011 1:52PM
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.seb.
Posts: 1291 - Karma: 597
http://www.passadrugtestingforall.com/tips-getting-marijuana-system-a-8.html

fill out the bottom and it will suggest products. they range from 100-150ish
Mar 12 2011 1:53PM
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pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 829
put your friends piss in, break the seal and let it pass
refill with your piss
Mar 12 2011 1:54PM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
try not being a hippy for a couple weeks so you can get a job.
Mar 12 2011 1:54PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
I had like 8 handwarmers with piss in a pill bottle in my pocket. Thinkin bout piss in a plastic bag with a bag around it full of handwarmers duct taped to the inside of my thigh but i dunno since i didn't pass twice the lady wil be watching like a hawk.
Mar 12 2011 1:54PM
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NotoriousT.S.E
Posts: 1014 - Karma: 439
i passed a drug test a week after not smoking. and before that i pretty much smoked every day( end of summer) just drink a bunch of cranberry juice like everyone said and pee as much as possible.
Mar 12 2011 1:56PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
That could actually work.... Click for larger image
This is the drug test.
Mar 12 2011 1:56PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
really? I could give that a shot, easiest/cheapest way
Mar 12 2011 1:58PM
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WhiteDynamite
Posts: 134 - Karma: 9
Yea theres someone i actually know who passed a drug test a week after a night of 8 gb's
Mar 12 2011 2:04PM
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.seb.
Posts: 1291 - Karma: 597
get the cranberry juice called "just cranberry" its realllly strong and tasted like ass, but it will get the job done. Just-Cranberry.jpg
Mar 12 2011 2:10PM
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vailsux.com
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 440
It's possible. Take about 200 mg of niacin per day until the day of the test. Drink about one glass of cranberry juice a day and on the day of the test take about 600-800 mg of aspirin an hour before the actually test. Make sure you are we hydrated the entire week.
Mar 12 2011 2:13PM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,122
you are never going to want cranberry juice again, but it should work. How much do you smoke? A week is a decent amount of time to detox just make sure you overhydrate all week and are well hyrdated for the test.
Mar 12 2011 2:23PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
unles im missing something here your a girl. girls have holes in their body which they regularly enjoy shoving stuff into. so take advantage of that and fill a condom with clean piss, loosen the vag up a a bit first, and then shove the piss filled condom in. it would absolutely be the correct temp, and it would be clean piss.
Mar 12 2011 3:00PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
oh and fyi cranberry juice does absolutely nothing. niacin has science based theory behind it atleast.

dont waste money on detox drinks if they are under $50 either, they are just high carb drinks, with b vitamins.
Mar 12 2011 3:07PM
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Scott0_robot0
Posts: 3291 - Karma: 212
bam
Mar 12 2011 3:12PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
drink clean piss
Mar 12 2011 3:16PM
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1337
Posts: 31039 - Karma: 29,013
I lol'd
Mar 12 2011 3:20PM
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Gnarshred
Posts: 5670 - Karma: 18
You'll be fine, take some niacin daily, get plenty of exercise don't eat fatty foods, you should be fine in a week. I've passed some sketchy tests in my day for sure...
Mar 12 2011 3:20PM
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SgtSteamy
Posts: 498 - Karma: 202
Don't do drugs?.....
Mar 12 2011 3:23PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
you want to try and burn off the fat, but 24 hours before the test, you should be pounding food...all kinds of food. you dont want to be burning any tissue reserves for energy thus releasing thc into your system and piss. you want all energy to come from the food you eat, so the thc stays loced in your fat.




but really, my first suggestion is the best one. i dont see why that wouldnt workd.
Mar 12 2011 3:33PM
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LS.
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 858
some people don't have discipline.
Mar 12 2011 5:28PM
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Prepreip
Posts: 168 - Karma: 12
Most head shops (in my area at least) sell detox drinks. They look  a lot like Gatorade and usually cost around $25. I've used them successfully on two separate occasions. 
Mar 12 2011 5:34PM
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malonius_funk
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,500
anddddd DynaMute10's tenth post is a great one folks, very constructive and helpful, thanks DynaMute10 for your well thought out answer, i'm sure the OP appreciates this
Mar 12 2011 7:16PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51293 - Karma: 157,944
Detox. If you knew it was coming you should have been more prepared though.

I quit smoking for almost 2 months when I knew I had one coming up. I just did other stuff for that time.
Mar 12 2011 7:24PM
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pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 829
lolirony
Mar 12 2011 7:25PM
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malonius_funk
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,500
hows this spork: to OP, hydrate a lot, piss a lot, eat a lot before the test, and cross your fingers. kapeesh
Mar 12 2011 7:29PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
Click for larger image
Mar 12 2011 7:38PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
this sounds like a good idea
Mar 12 2011 9:05PM
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dave44
Posts: 11052 - Karma: 113
hahahaha
Mar 12 2011 9:08PM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5851 - Karma: 4,522
This seems like a really clever idea... Try this one beezey
Mar 13 2011 6:25AM
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Cufe.
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 262
sorry for the crap quality, but, I am sure it gets the point across.



I Dont recommend this.
Mar 13 2011 6:35AM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,122
haha that is disgusting and kind of genius at the same time. I guess it depends on how bad you want the job
Mar 13 2011 6:41AM
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Right.Meow
Posts: 107 - Karma: 10
Drinking anything a ton of water a week before the test won't do shit, THC isn't water soluble. Right before the test, drink around 8 glasses of water and take a 50-100mg B Vitamin to color it right. Only pee mid-stream in the cup, not at the start or the end.
Mar 13 2011 11:40AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
lol beezey peeing
Mar 13 2011 11:44AM
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ndye
Posts: 3756 - Karma: 7,088
Stay hydrated, for sure, and take what everyone else is telling you to take. Pee midstream not at the bggining or end because that is when the highest concentrations will be for what could actually cause you to fail.
Mar 13 2011 11:57AM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
I'm going to fast for 4 days, drinking lots of water and niacin with it, one small meal nightly. Skiing hard and sweating a lot. I have a fast metabolism so this should work.
Mar 13 2011 6:43PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18212 - Karma: 12,259
You forgot the blazing part of that schedual... Oh waaait
Mar 13 2011 6:46PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
Click for larger image
Mar 13 2011 6:47PM
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Zimmerman
Posts: 6992 - Karma: 1,021
threads for results
Mar 13 2011 6:50PM
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ImNotARacist
Posts: 5136 - Karma: -1,032
i made
Mar 13 2011 6:59PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
ya girls have a lot of fat on them naturally, so it wont work super well. but otherwise your plan seems solid, except 24 hours before the test, cut off the niacin and start pounding food. you dont want to be burning fat on the day of the test.

also if youre going to a lab make sure your piss isnt too diluted or you will fail it again. there are some tricks to passing off dilute piss like loading creatine, and b- vitamins etc.


I still dont know why you dont find a test tube(or something similar), fill it with clean piss, tie a string around it for retrieval, and then shove it up your cooter? its alot healthier, allows you to continue smoking, and is damn near fullproof...unlike fasting and chancing it.
Mar 13 2011 7:00PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
thats just about the opposite of what you want to do.

eat as much fatty shit as possible the day before and of the test so that your body doesn't have to metabolize the fat stored in your body which is holding all the THC. through this time continue to drink as much water as possible. 6 hours before the test take some vitamin C and creatine if you can get some (if you over-hydrate your creatine levels will be low and you will fail) and 2 hours before take 6 aspirin and more vitamin C. no guarantee that it will work but it worked for me in a week after daily toking for a year.
Mar 13 2011 7:03PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
I'm like 5'2 and a tiny girl there is no way i can shove something full of piss inside of me. it seems so disgusting! Although it seems legit, you do not have a vagina!

I'm going to drink some stuff i can't remeber what its called but It's what turns liquid into jam/jelly... I guess it makes you shit for a day but it cleans you out well
Mar 13 2011 7:06PM
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DERS.
Posts: 6299 - Karma: 1,293
my penis is the cure for all diseases.
Mar 13 2011 7:07PM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
have some one clean, have sex with you, pee in your butt, then you hold till the test...success.
Mar 13 2011 7:08PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
So, I'm going to fast for 4 days, while taking niacin, then the day before eat a ton of fatty foods and stop taking the niacin. Then drink a bunch of OJ and advil a few hours before the test? only prob is asprin makes me sick
Mar 13 2011 7:09PM
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