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April, 2024

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I found a turtle

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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
well today when i was pulling in my driveway i noticed something making its way across it and surely enough it was a turtle, this is fucken wierd because there are no turtles here, only people have them as pets and this thing is pretty big, but heres the wierd thing, one of my friends had a turtle a couple years back and had released in a creek and he was describing its features to me and everything is exactly the same, its kind of hard to believe that it could be his turtle after being released 8 years ago but you never know


'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
Jun 30 2004 11:46PM
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freerider_klo
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 14
thats interesting lat







-Chloe
skiing=radical
Jun 30 2004 11:47PM
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Jib_This
Posts: 8272 - Karma: 9
I hear that bbq-ed turtle is tasty.



Freezy deletes all my posts because he doesn't like me, so I suggest you message him to make him stop.
Jun 30 2004 11:48PM
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SmoKinSkier
Posts: 5501 - Karma: 20
That would be some crazy irony if it was, there is a good chance though cuz who would kill a turtle? And if left alone they can live for like 100 years!




Pete is currently sulking around Mt. Hood, shooting with Poor Boyz Productions and hitting on Kristi Leskinen. 'She hates guys,' Pete lamented, 'so it’s not going good.' Apparently Canada isn’t the only thing that’s tough for Pete to get into.
Jun 30 2004 11:50PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
really?? ill have to try it out
oh and i forgot to mention that im keeping it


'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
Jun 30 2004 11:50PM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
hells yeah you should keep it, these things don't happen every day. plus if you get bored with it you can try the barbeque plan


'Just once I'd like someone to call me sir without adding, you're making a scene!' - Homer
Jun 30 2004 11:54PM
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schlonginator
Posts: 3971 - Karma: 27
Eat it.




___________________________
''Shake it like a polaroid picture''
Jun 30 2004 11:56PM
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five0
Posts: 11466 - Karma: 36
get him a huge ass cage...or wait just use the one you used to keep me in?
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'

'so basically i lost my penis trying to have sex with my cat' Misty7



'Who's not 18 yet? What? LA LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear you.'~Jay aka rebel
Jun 30 2004 11:57PM
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ThisAngelicRage
Posts: 8681 - Karma: 54
That reminds me of a pretty bad story I am going to tell. Me and my friend Karey were down in our nifty cabin off in the back woods on her property by a pond and all this neat stuff, and we hang out there a lot. A few weeks ago we decided to go take a dip and I was kind of running out to the dock and I came close to stepping on something, I thought it was a rock, or a bottle or chards of pottery (we smash pottery when we're bored) but it was a turtle. I'm afraid of everything so I stepped back and screamed then realized it was a turtle and yelled for Karey to get moving because she had to see this, so she ran over and I made her try to catch it. The sucker was moving real fast towards the pond. So we caught it, and it was freaking out. We had to save this disgruntled reptile (amphibian? I don't know?) so we run to the cabin and find a big bucket, put the turtle in, and it starts to kind of seizure. We're typical girls so when animals quiv out we get a worried facial expression and say 'oh no!' so we decided this bucket wasn't working. Karey said we should let it go but I wasn't about to let the big one get away! So I said we should bring it up to her house and find a tank for it or something, so we release it from the bucket, Karey catches is and we go to the big truck. I can't drive the beast so Karey is in driver, with the turtle. She tries to hand it to me but I freak out. So karey is driving with her elbows on the crazy mountain roads with this turtle. We get to the her. No tanks or anything, a light comes on in our heads... karey's mom has a goldfish pond in her garden! ah ha! so we put the turtle in the goldfish pond in hopes of having a new friendly pet. Well within 3 days the Turtle ate every single one of Karey's mom's precious fish and escape. What a piece of shit animal!





-Lauren


Lauren and Ella: together changing teenaged boys lives since 2001.

THE FIST OF FURY
Fistin' Mad Bitches!

Skiing's not a sport, it's a lifestyle.
Jun 30 2004 11:58PM
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ThisAngelicRage
Posts: 8681 - Karma: 54
and I guess the moral of that story is.... don't try to catch wild animals when you are high and don't put vicious animals in your mom's gold fish pond





-Lauren


Lauren and Ella: together changing teenaged boys lives since 2001.

THE FIST OF FURY
Fistin' Mad Bitches!

Skiing's not a sport, it's a lifestyle.
Jun 30 2004 11:59PM
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mattwalker
Posts: 5063 - Karma: 2,478
try to mate it with something...


4FRNT.

High Society.

Enom Headwear.

Sidewinder Sports.

'skiboarding is too hard for most people. i broke both of my legs and shattered my pelvis just strapping the leashes on.' - mommy
Jun 30 2004 11:59PM
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SmoKinSkier
Posts: 5501 - Karma: 20
How big exaxtly are we talking like 1 ft long?




Pete is currently sulking around Mt. Hood, shooting with Poor Boyz Productions and hitting on Kristi Leskinen. 'She hates guys,' Pete lamented, 'so it’s not going good.' Apparently Canada isn’t the only thing that’s tough for Pete to get into.
Jul 1 2004 12:00AM
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five0
Posts: 11466 - Karma: 36
^noooooooo not doin that again
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

'You can't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'

'so basically i lost my penis trying to have sex with my cat' Misty7



'Who's not 18 yet? What? LA LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear you.'~Jay aka rebel
Jul 1 2004 12:01AM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
maybe 10 inches long


'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
Jul 1 2004 12:04AM
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Ds91260
Posts: 9984 - Karma: 19
turtles are the dope anilmal



Fuck You
Jul 1 2004 12:08AM
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rebel
Posts: 5198 - Karma: 22
If I had a turtle, I'd name it Growler. If you had a turtle, you should name it Jay.

- - - - -
'It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.' - Anne Frank
Jul 1 2004 12:11AM
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lj5
Posts: 2250 - Karma: 12
feed it toxic waste and maybe it'll turn into a teanage mutant ninja turtle! that would be badass you could like have it kill people for you and get you pizza plus you'd be the coolest kid in the 3rd grade class you pretend to be in.
Jul 1 2004 1:15AM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
this reminds me of family guy where stewie is swimming in a pool with this inflatable turtle keeping him afloat and he's like 'so I'm to entrust my life to a turtle, natures D student!?!


'Just once I'd like someone to call me sir without adding, you're making a scene!' - Homer
Jul 1 2004 1:32AM
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Phrosty
Posts: 9956 - Karma: 18
make it fight a cat.


You can say anything you want if you don't mean it.
Jul 1 2004 1:33AM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
i do have a cat thats pregnant, maybe the turtle will trip the cat hahahhahahahahahah sorry irish, i had to


'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
Jul 1 2004 1:36AM
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Phrosty
Posts: 9956 - Karma: 18
i think prego's are hot. for some reason it always tuurned me on to think about poking the baby in the head with my weiner.


You can say anything you want if you don't mean it.
Jul 1 2004 1:37AM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
preggos are hot, i mean you can blow your load all over their enormous baby cave and it will ooze off in all different directions which could and in fact keep the bitch occupied for a matter of seconds which gives you enough time to get the fuck out of there


'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
Jul 1 2004 1:39AM
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_alli_
Posts: 1792 - Karma: 34
I found a tortise in my backyard when I was little, but it was a neighbor's pet, and he was actually looking for it so I had to give it back.


'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
Jul 1 2004 4:07AM
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_alli_
Posts: 1792 - Karma: 34
I found a tortise in my backyard when I was little, but it was a neighbor's pet, and he was actually looking for it so I had to give it back.


'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
Jul 1 2004 4:07AM
0 0
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_alli_
Posts: 1792 - Karma: 34
I found a tortise in my backyard when I was little, but it was a neighbor's pet, and he was actually looking for it so I had to give it back.


'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
Jul 1 2004 4:07AM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 11992 - Karma: 9,212
tutles.. haaa. fuckin funy shit


RRRRRAAAAZZZZMAAATAAAAZZZ
Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust
Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course
Jul 1 2004 10:02AM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59
one time i killed a frog at a camp ground by mistake. i was going to rip its legs off but i was afraid.

pinktigers
Jul 1 2004 10:07AM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59
one time i killed a frog at a camp ground by mistake. i was going to rip its legs off but i was afraid.

pinktigers
Jul 1 2004 10:07AM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59
and about having sex with pregnate women. wouldnt it be insane to fuck the woman and butt fuck the baby at the same time?

pinktigers
Jul 1 2004 10:08AM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
turtles smell so bad when you keep them as pets. My neighbour has a turtle and i have never smelled anything so vile befor in my life. Holy fuck. there whole house smells like dead animals, shit, bacteria and wet dog. its aweful..

and for doing the baby in the butt.. thats fuckin twisted.

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*

theres an ilovemen.com? damn. see you guys later -skierdudeguy

violence, in canada? go spew your bullshit on somebody eles\' chest, we dont want that around here.-Mommy
Jul 1 2004 10:56AM
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murphski
Posts: 1259 - Karma: 13
pour nuclear waste on him and he'll become a teenage mutant ninja turtle!
_____________
'uh-oh! weve drawn judge schnider.''is that bad''well i kinda ran over his dog''oh dear''well replace kinda with repeatedly, and dog with son'
Jul 1 2004 11:14AM
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alev
Posts: 7819 - Karma: 410
i used to be obsessed with that show, and it used to come on after walker texas ranger, but i was afraid so i often missed the beginnging cuz chuck norriss is a fuckin asshole with no friends

...RUN FOR COVER PRODUCTIONS...
Jul 1 2004 12:02PM
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acc
Posts: 4122 - Karma: 222
stef when i read the title of the thread i expected to see something like: 'so i attached an m80 to its back with duct tape then lit it and watched it blow up.'

h3o films
Jul 1 2004 12:06PM
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ScratchCobra66
Posts: 3688 - Karma: 11
^ hahaha mee too.













FARP




My brother on the Japanese tourists looking at the wreck of the Arizona in Hawaii. 'Hey thats where uncle Henry komikazed!'
Jul 1 2004 12:10PM
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KillerMonkey
Posts: 6435 - Karma: 108
i had a turtle once, but it died.
THE END




JIBARITO
(its actually a restaurant in Peurto Rico)

Guitaring for life

Jul 1 2004 2:11PM
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LittleDevil720
Posts: 3719 - Karma: 8
hey man, id bbq that...
Jul 1 2004 6:56PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
I found one in a creek near my house at one point, sucker was over a foot long. He stayed there for a few weeks, then left. Pretty sweet though.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
Jul 1 2004 6:58PM
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404404
Posts: 11358 - Karma: 21,033
like 6 years ago i found one walking acorss the road, then i cant rember what i did with it




I cant spell so get use to it or il spork you to death

Member Number 10102
Jul 1 2004 6:59PM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 11992 - Karma: 9,212
ok.. ive heard some fucked up shit on ns.. but i think the worst is over.....

'and about having sex with pregnate women. wouldnt it be insane to fuck the woman and butt fuck the baby at the same time?' mommy

wow.. holy god.. that was the worst thing ive ever heard in my life.. congrats.. mommy.. ns... is now more fucked up then any one could have thought.



RRRRRAAAAZZZZMAAATAAAAZZZ
Matty Jeronimo: maybe he will give us magic fairy dust
Matty Jeronimo: skiing fairy dust of course
Jul 1 2004 7:01PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
^hey, when you get Lat, Phrosty and Mommy going the same thread... look out. Shit's gonna get out of hand.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
Jul 1 2004 7:42PM
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Vtsnowski
Posts: 3532 - Karma: 1,152
i ran one over with my bike, i thought it was a rock



some christian kid today: 'Get drunk off jesus'


acholcol makes me its bitch
Jul 1 2004 9:36PM
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Phrosty
Posts: 9956 - Karma: 18
^haha


You can say anything you want if you don't mean it.
Jul 1 2004 11:10PM
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dilla_says_go
Posts: 5333 - Karma: 168
what if instead of YOU fucking the preggo mom and bumfucking her fetus, you have the TURTLE fuck the mom and fetus. then you can kill them all and make turtlefetus soup.
...............................................................................................

-steve

[i treat each day like its game seven in overtime.
born to shine at home and over border lines.]
Jul 1 2004 11:15PM
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Norred
Posts: 3520 - Karma: 13
hahahaha
Nov 9 2005 9:51AM
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