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Anti-jokes

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Hemulen.
Posts: 448 - Karma: 17
two men are sitting in a pub. one man turns to the other and says:
"last night i saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house."
the other man replies "Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit."

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile?
"Robin, please, get in the batmobile.

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
one, they are as physically able as any other human.
Aug 5 2010 8:03AM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,398
so this coke head walks into a bar, where he goes to the bathroom and OD's in a dirty stall.
Feb 25 2011 1:31AM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
Why do you never see any unicorns?

Because your mother goes to an insane asylum and she can't tell the difference between reality and her imagination anymore.
Feb 25 2011 2:17AM
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JustDidIt
Posts: 2194 - Karma: 160
what's the difference between a bicycle and a black man?

a bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being



why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack?

he has a debilitating disease. he is slowly losing touch with reality


what do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

a horrible boating accident
Feb 25 2011 9:14AM
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MN_Nice
Posts: 3824 - Karma: 56
Ever get those goggles from that "Guess where this picture is" contest/thread we were owning? Hahah.
Feb 25 2011 5:08PM
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FireTruck
Posts: 139 - Karma: 10
why did the plane crash into the mountain?
the pilot was a loaf of bread

Whats big, yellow and eats grass?
a schoolbus, i lied about the grass
Feb 25 2011 5:44PM
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esotericjive
Posts: 1889 - Karma: 1,445
So this Jew, an Irish guy, and a Cuban are sitting at a bar.
What a great example of racial integration in the community!
Feb 25 2011 5:47PM
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MangoSteeze
Posts: 793 - Karma: 48
Oh my gawd! this thread is so full of win! i will contribute ...


Why did the baby cross the road?



Because it was stapled to the chicken








Feb 25 2011 8:09PM
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Dan.P
Posts: 1351 - Karma: 12
Whats brown and sticky? A stick


How do you confuse a black guy? cover yourself in feathers and throw beatles at him
Feb 25 2011 8:21PM
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amo
Posts: 6709 - Karma: 1,248
i dont think dead baby jokes fall under the anti-joke category
Feb 25 2011 10:24PM
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mellifluous
Posts: 1682 - Karma: 68
This is my favourite
Feb 25 2011 11:33PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 177
hillarious
Feb 26 2011 10:58PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
making the impact of the spiked club swung by the canadian even worse
Feb 26 2011 11:01PM
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MangoSteeze
Posts: 793 - Karma: 48
The baby and the chicken recovered from their injuries and lived full lives
Feb 26 2011 11:03PM
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Slowbro
Posts: 3673 - Karma: 19,036
a duck walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender realizes he is hallucinating, takes his medicine and resumes bartending
Feb 26 2011 11:06PM
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amo
Posts: 6709 - Karma: 1,248
good to hear
Feb 27 2011 12:03AM
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Heinzler
Posts: 1931 - Karma: 125
did you know helen keller had a dog?

neither did she.
Mar 1 2011 3:05PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
sounds like inception: WE ARE IN A FISHING ROD, THAT IS IN A WORM, THAT IS IN A APPLE.
Mar 1 2011 3:09PM
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IIImatic
Posts: 141 - Karma: 9
your suite is brownpausenawt
Mar 1 2011 3:16PM
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TheWiseOne
Posts: 858 - Karma: 24
what do you call a jew, a black, and a mexican?
a racially integrated society.

what do you call a black man on the moon?
an astronaut
Mar 1 2011 3:30PM
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PaintedHearts
Posts: 1374 - Karma: 127
These are great. Hahaha I feel like such a bad person for laughing at most of them though.
Mar 1 2011 3:35PM
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Daph
Posts: 5978 - Karma: 5,005
Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
She's a woman.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phonebook?
They all have phones.
Mar 1 2011 3:59PM
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Answerless
Posts: 392 - Karma: 118
I dont get why the first one's an anti joke but just more of women series

why can't women drive
cuz theres no driveway between the kitchen and the bedroom

also classic: do you wanna hear a joke?
women's sports
do you wanna hear another joke?
women's rights


p.s: I don't agree with any of those by the way. I think women's rights movement was a integral step toward equality and egalitarian society in America.
Mar 1 2011 11:10PM
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MN_Nice
Posts: 3824 - Karma: 56
No shit. That just kills the joke though.
Mar 1 2011 11:24PM
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Mr.Plank
Posts: 535 - Karma: 82
this thread is great, mythreads/bump
Mar 3 2011 7:28PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11953 - Karma: 12,296
what does batman say to robin before they get in the bat-mobile?

get in the bat-mobile, Robin.
Mar 3 2011 7:38PM
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nacho.steez
Posts: 435 - Karma: 136
Theres a Jew, an Irish man and a black dude at a bar. What a nice integrated community.
Mar 3 2011 7:40PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
nice icon, i have a pair
Mar 3 2011 7:49PM
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infuser
Posts: 1220 - Karma: 241

Why is the native american crying?

he got trampled by buffalo and has broken ribs

Mar 3 2011 7:56PM
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Bro.J._Simpson
Posts: 108 - Karma: 11
knock knock
Who's there?
go fuck yourself.
Mar 3 2011 8:05PM
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TallerThanThou
Posts: 615 - Karma: 13
What sound does a baby make in a blender?

I don't know. I was too busy masturbating.
Mar 3 2011 8:06PM
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Answerless
Posts: 392 - Karma: 118
haha catch me if you can reference
Mar 4 2011 11:58AM
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beowulf
Posts: 893 - Karma: 164
An integral step towards the great depression
Mar 4 2011 12:12PM
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Mormor_Olga
Posts: 259 - Karma: 34
Yo mama so fat, we are all very concerned about her health
Mar 4 2011 12:44PM
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hurrdurr
Posts: 349 - Karma: 29
haha
Mar 4 2011 12:46PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Three french cats named un, duex, and trois decide to have a swimming race.

none of them make it because un deux trois cat sanq.
Mar 4 2011 1:11PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
A man walks into a bar.

He says "ouch! stupid bar!"
Mar 4 2011 1:27PM
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Answerless
Posts: 392 - Karma: 118

people starved to death because there weren't enough sandwhiches being made

Mar 4 2011 4:49PM
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Sam.Carson
Posts: 2884 - Karma: 35
^ thats a good one
Mar 4 2011 6:14PM
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Bro.J._Simpson
Posts: 108 - Karma: 11
props.
Mar 4 2011 9:52PM
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Dlud
Posts: 938 - Karma: 544
What do you call a Jew that lit himself on fire. An idiot
Mar 4 2011 10:26PM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
bump for more jokes.
Mar 28 2011 7:32PM
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General_Ripper
Posts: 3327 - Karma: 189
Norm McDonald Owns at these


Mar 28 2011 7:35PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 428
What did the girl say to the boy.
I'm pregnant.
Mar 28 2011 7:36PM
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horner
Posts: 2439 - Karma: 1,578
threads
Mar 28 2011 7:36PM
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Level4
Posts: 142 - Karma: 10
why is everyone on this site so gay, cause this website is gay
Mar 28 2011 8:01PM
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I.B
Posts: 8137 - Karma: 24,354
4th page
Mar 28 2011 8:02PM
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c4t_l0ver
Posts: 5485 - Karma: 810
bump, these are toooo funny
May 10 2011 1:49AM
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541
Posts: 506 - Karma: 45
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Wait?! you let one of the chickens out?



why did the chicken cross the road?

Cause the bitch be naggin on his ass, just kidding chickens are in capible of talking or having asses.


Why do all black people have nightmares?

Because they are very confused before falling asleep



A black man walk into a store with a gun and mask on, he ask the cashier for some more round before leaving for his hunting trip.

A black man walks into a store with a gun, he says give me all the money in the register. The end.
May 10 2011 2:01AM
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Dr_Hobo
Posts: 162 - Karma: 24
Threads
May 10 2011 6:11AM
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skiblandford
Posts: 1503 - Karma: 2
whats worse than one bee sting...
two bee stings

Whats worse than two bee stings...
the Holocaust

Whats worse than the holocaust...
Three bee stings
May 10 2011 6:52AM
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