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PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

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A Modest Proposal to Solve the Energy Crisis

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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
Okay, maybe not solve, but...

2.5 million people die in the US each year. 1/3 of those people are cremated. Estimates project that this number will rise to 60% within the next 15 years. That's 1.5 million people...let's conservatively say that totals 150 million pounds of dead people.

Now, the human body is a carbon gold mine. Hell, we spend our whole lives eating, and modern agriculture revolves around corn (aka biomass) and petroleum based products.

If the bodies are being burned anyway, why can't we use them to generate power?

How would you feel if you knew your house was powered by dead people?

Discuss.
May 27 2010 1:48AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
Hell, almost all pets get sent to the stoves too. Let Fido keep that new TV you bought running all day!
May 27 2010 1:49AM
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.KYLE.
Posts: 1891 - Karma: 59
.
May 27 2010 1:53AM
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Funnel
Posts: 7808 - Karma: 1,414
I like the idea......
May 27 2010 1:53AM
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Gnarton.
Posts: 38 - Karma: 11
What did Abe ever do to you?
May 27 2010 1:54AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
my historical figure killed one person. your icon is responsible for hundreds.

let's stick to the point.
May 27 2010 1:54AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
and you, millions. NS you make my life too easy
May 27 2010 1:55AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
probably a great fuel source. lets burn them too
May 27 2010 1:56AM
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Gnarton.
Posts: 38 - Karma: 11
lol, WWII would have had a much different outcome if it wasn't for me and my glorious Red Army. You killed a person that was for the people, rendering your argument invalid comrade
May 27 2010 1:57AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
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So soft and cuddly looking.
May 27 2010 1:58AM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
compared to the amount energy that the burning of fossil fuels produce, think of how little energy that would produce.
May 27 2010 1:59AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
and if it wasn't for me, americans would probably get one less holiday off school! and for presidents day to be in peak ski season?? who's the real hero here??
May 27 2010 1:59AM
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Proletariat.
Posts: 1797 - Karma: 45
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May 27 2010 1:59AM
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uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 121
somebody's read Jonathan Swift, call the newspaper.

ya, i got your reference, what now?
May 27 2010 2:04AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
well since we import fossil fuels, why not import dead people? over 50 million people die each year worldwide.

maybe i should just sell my idea to china
May 27 2010 2:08AM
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uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 121
not even done calling you out

if you don'y want to watch it, its what the op said exactly, except done at a major oil company conference with far better planning
May 27 2010 2:09AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
...i see a trend of communists icons and posting wombats in this thread. i need to get glenn beck on the case pronto
May 27 2010 2:10AM
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dumbo-tron
Posts: 92 - Karma: 10
calling me out? was that was noting the swift reference was? because while i set the bar for newschoolers intelligence pretty low, that wasn't supposed to be some sneaky trick.
May 27 2010 2:12AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
This idea is so stupid.

What about the families of those that died? Part of the point of a funeral is the closure it gives the family and having a body is part of that.
May 27 2010 2:21AM
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uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 121
called right the SHIT out
May 27 2010 2:24AM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
i'll use your numbers, even though i have no clue if they're correct or not.

50 million (50,000,000)
x
an average size (150 lbs.)
=
7,500,000,000 lbs of human flesh just ready to be burned. sounds like a huge number right?




a gallon of crude oil weighs about 7lbs. so...


7lbs.
x
42 (number of gallons in a barrel)
x
5,000,000,000 (number of barrels of crude oil imported by the US every year)
=
1,470,000,000,000 lbs of JUST CRUDE OIL alone. that's not counting any other kinds of fossil fuels.

are you going to try and tell me that a body burns more efficiently than crude oil?
May 27 2010 2:27AM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21061 - Karma: 8,366
did you not think this idea through? burning bodies wouldn't produce much of an output per body burned. 150lbs of oil would produce much more energy output than 150lbs of flesh.... as was proven by the post above me.
May 27 2010 2:48AM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59
we should use all of the fossil fuel to send corpses to the moon. imagine if the moon was covered with dead people.
May 27 2010 3:59AM
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Static
Posts: 8494 - Karma: 4,068
imagine if all the air in the world turned into wood
May 27 2010 4:32AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
the world would explode
May 27 2010 4:51AM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21061 - Karma: 8,366
no it wooden't
May 27 2010 5:02AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
the internet would explode
May 27 2010 5:08AM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21061 - Karma: 8,366
i think you mean "it wood explode"
May 27 2010 5:30AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
i am pretty sure i wood never say that
May 27 2010 6:00AM
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H8CH
Posts: 2709 - Karma: 218
A barrel of oil also makes lots of playstations, tv's, wombat collars.... And so on... Energy is only a % of oil consumption, even then it's just transport fuels, not power production.
May 27 2010 8:16AM
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Username_42069
Posts: 1591 - Karma: 15
reminds me of  huxley's brave new world, they creamate corpse of the working class to  create energy. waahoo
May 27 2010 8:59AM
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EastCoast315
Posts: 3136 - Karma: 137
I propose that we burn obese people in place of coal. That way, we kill two birds with one stone.
May 27 2010 10:58AM
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Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
damn i love wombats.
May 27 2010 11:07AM
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Heinzler
Posts: 1931 - Karma: 125
i wood love to see this actually happen. too bad wombats are so damn cute

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May 27 2010 11:21AM
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Pee_and_Ski
Posts: 1869 - Karma: 57
the origional one is better. i vote burn all the unwanted children. more the same sprot as origional
May 27 2010 11:37AM
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Phormat
Posts: 774 - Karma: 20
I wonder how many MPG I could get off an obese person? "Fuck you man, I got this fat fuck first, you your Prius can take the skinny bitch."
May 27 2010 12:17PM
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