NS, tell me the story of when you lost your virginity

that is fuckin hilarious

i havent. 24 years of age and counting. aiming for 40. the vagina kinda grosses me out, any way..

Have not lost mine yet. But I am very youthful since I am under the age of 18. I don't need to rush.

I was fifteen, and we were watching kung pow. Halfway through my dad walked in, gave me a bowl of popcorn and left, totally oblivious, idk how we got away with it.

17 at a birthday party drunk off my ass. Vagina is terrible.

bro you literally were raped by a girl ^


i fell for the damn FPoB on the first page and the sex with the bed was awesomeeeee

haha. i wondered if gay people have ever tried being straight, and what it was like for them.

Freshman year of college meet this chick whos a friend of my friend. Get to know her a little bit etc. One day my friend says "yo you should totally hit that she really wants your nuts" and I was like ok ha sounds good. Go back to her place with my friend and she has a few of her friends over. She buys me and my friend cases of nice beer, just kick it in her room for a bit, we cruise out to a party, everyone sorta filters away at the party.

I ask the chick if she wants to go back to her place to watch a movie, we put on zoolander lol, start making out etc. I am feeling pretty sick because I have had too many, we do the deed etc and I kinda pass out on the floor afterward while zoolander keeps playing. Eventually we get in her bed around 3am and I sleep until around 6am where I start getting ridiculously hot because of our combined body heat, and pretty hung over so I leave a note on her table saying yo peace. Go to Ihop and run into a guy randomly who explains hes made all this money being a male prostitute essentially. Go back to my room and crash and generally feel shitty.


Ok here's the best part. Half a year later me and my friend are chillin and hes like yo dude, here is something you didn't know about that night, I pimped you out for 15$ and a case of beer for setting that hookup up. I lolled

The end

LoL rape

and maybe she didn't give up, maybe she used you to get pregnant and there is a little mini you running around and skiing like maniac and one day she is going to realize that feeling guilty about stealing your semen doesn't matter anymore and she would rather use the system to get money by extorting you for child support for the child you didn't know you had from the rape that you didn't report.

Had something with this girl for like 1 week, i was at here house laying in bed watching a movie. Parents were sitting downstairs.
Started making out, after that She gave me an handjob i did some fingerwork, took like 15 minutes, when suddenly her mom walked in the room saying that they were going to sleep. and at that point i came, mom didnt noticed it and went out of the room.
After that i sayed i was done, She laught at the timing and said im not done yet, climbed on top of me and made me cum again.
Never used an condom with her.

Had something with this girl for like 1 week, i was at here house laying in bed watching a movie. Parents were sitting downstairs.
Started making out, after that She gave me an handjob i did some fingerwork, took like 15 minutes, when suddenly her mom walked in the room saying that they were going to sleep. and at that point i came, mom didnt noticed it and went out of the room.
After that i sayed i was done, She laught at the timing and said im not done yet, climbed on top of me and made me cum again.
Never used an condom with her.

it all started sometime in the afternoon. I dropped some real flow on the cherriest of shoes, and spent the afternoon strutting about the mall, making them my own and being a high roller. These shoes were of the rarest variety. Truth be told though, a factory in China most likely pumps out several hundred per hour. And yet there I was. The biggest predicament I ran into was whether or not I should venture into the food court, at the risk of filthy floors burglarizing the beautiful virginity of my shoes. Finally the time came, and I had to venture out to my car. The weather had turned to bullshit, and so I had to put my shoes through their first test. Despite the heavy rainshowers, and multiple puddles, the shoes excelled at what they were built to do. We shared several glorious years together.

I then went home and had sex for the first time with my girlfriend at the time.

16 years old, with my girlfriend at the time. i can only imagine i looked very salmon-like. after i finished i went and got a quarter-pack. it was delicious. cheers.

I was 34 years old, she was a body builder from eastern europe

was goin out with this girl for a few weeks. my parents inherited my grandparents house when they passed away, so we went there. bout 4-5mins into it my phones starts ringing, it made me jump, i came then ran around the house naked looking to see if it was my mom or dad outside, and i flushed my condom. turns out my mom only wanted to tell me she found a baby squirrel on the side of the road. few days later my dad went to the house and found my condom in the toilet and gave me a high five.

hahahaha same

Lost all over my keyboard hahahahah

Hanging with this chick and blacked out.
she used to visit my town every once in a while, and we went to a party and she was really wanting it you know. like i said i blacked out. woke up alone naked in a hay loft with a black eye and sharpy marker drawings on my arms.
hadnt seen her for three years saw her walking around town with a little kid and i approached her excited to see her. we talked for a while and then said when she drops the little girl off with her parents we should hang out.
you know what she said? ....... im sure you can guess

im a dad



















that would have sucked
Nah

I lost my v to a girl i love After a bottle of pear absolute and watching the goonies, lasted like just under an hour. whiskey dick. fuck yea
Cant help but feel like a boss getting dome while slamming someone elses vodka
fresh powder the next day
moral of my story, little people that look kinda like you are sweet but powder and sex with someone you love is fuckin way better

It's not like I burst out of the womb going La Di Da shitting rainbows and sneezing glitter.

summer before my senior year.. was only 16 so not soo bad ha.. been dating this girl for a while now and she didnt live to far from me so what better than to ride my bike to her house at 12:30-1AM and stay until like 4:30 while her parents are sleeping right? So basically thats how it went down.. or theoretically.. first night we did it on the way there a guy was walking his dog on a retractable leash and i hit the leash between him and the dog while flying on my bike. needless to say the leash broke ha, not my fault some dude was walking his dog at 1 AM... in the dark.... with a leash... kinda weird.. soo anyway got to her house, we did it, it was pretty awesome.. left like 3 hours later after a blowjob and a handjob later.. was a good night.

lost it to my boss at shaws.

im too tired to type it out now, haha maybe later tonight

I was just shy of my 18th birthday, had been dating the guy for a couple weeks but hanging out for a few months already. He was my third or fourth official boyfriend, but I hadn't felt comfortable enough with any of them to do more than drunkenly make out. With this boyfriend though, it felt different. I completely trusted him and everything felt right, so I just kind of went with it. One night we were just at his house making out in his room and listening to music, and we both ended up naked. I didn't tell him it was my first time because I didn't want him to ruin it with questions/making sure I was fine/added pressure, etc.

my estrogen levels just rose after reading that

WHORE.

so it was her first time too, my parents were gone and the mood was right. i got it in for 4 seconds, then she told me to stopped and turned on the light to reveal that she was bleeding from the vagin. like i had to throw away my sheets and clean my floor. and the worst part was my parents came home in the middle of it and i had to have an incredibly awkward conversation..............yeah.

Met a girl from my old school at a block party thing. i used to kinda be friends with her until i moved.so we meet up and get to talking and she asks if i smoke.i tell her what do you think and asks if she wants to go smoke right then and there.We go to do it but a skunk chased us away from the spot we were at.That when she says we should meet up later and smoke.The night goes on and i walk her home and go back to my grams house.I roll a giant ass cone,and head over to her place at around 12.she meets me close and we go to an alley and smoke.we then start walking and make it about 20 feet before going into an extreme makeout sesh. WE do this every now and then as we walk to her house.I then go in and proceed to get down to buisness.had to keep quiet because she was afraid her dad might wake up,but i make her orgasm both times we fucked and lasted about 20 mins first time and half hour the next.

First, to all the virgins: THERE IS NO RUSH TO GET LAID. Just wait for the right girl or dude and then rail to your hearts content.

I would normally let Jwenz take care of this....
but...hi there how are things?

Hamilton......?

kibs.?

I haven't yet but I'm 14 so it's not as though it's weird that I haven't

yeah im 14 too i've only gotten a bj and some handies.

fuck you do win

the day after christmas, i went over to this girls house that i had been somewhat dating for a couple months, put on some good music, railed for a little while, then left to go build some jumps at a local park. sex then skiing. not too bad of a first time.

anyone who is sneezing glitter has something seriously wrong with them. it could be dangerous.

i biked a mile to this chicks house, immediately start drinking, black out, do her, somehow get home, wake up in my own puke with my mother yelling. twas a good birthday

you are a champ for lasting 20-30 min your first time, there must have been some sort of preparation in the years of alone time leading up to this encounter.

Not a great way to go about things man.

yer

I suppose I kind of was. I was blasted, so maybe I said yes. However, she was sober, so that cancels that out. Either way I figured, fuck it. Plus she was jewish, so I didn't want to make a thing out of it.

hahahahhahaha your gonna get Jerpes

17 at the time, and i was up camping with twenty or so friends for this one girl's birthday. i'm not a big drinker so i hotboxed the tent with a couple friends for a good two hours. then this girl who i'd been friends with since the 7th grade shows up, pretty wasted, and starts making out with me right when she arrives. i just kinda went with it, and she, to put it nicely, was someone who got around. we took some shots and then snuck off into the woods because there wasn't really anywhere else to go where we could get some privacy.

Sig'd.

When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed.

I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.

Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town.

She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you go in my mouth." I **** love women.

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my **** out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.

Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.

I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes.

I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.

Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today," but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY SHIT!". It was one of those moments.

The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing.

I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles.

Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her". And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.

repost?

Sophomore year of college.

Met in class, were working on a school project at it was around midnight and she didn't feel like walking back to her dorm so she slept in my bed. I slept in one of those moon chairs to try and be polite. Wake up with her cuddled next to me. next night we again were working on homework and she wouldn't let me not sleep in my bed.

Lasted a grand total of 5 minutes.

It was with my girlfriend at the time. So yea she was giving me head and I was lasting a while, a feat for any virgin while his cock is in a girls mouth, so I asked if she had a condom. She did = )

its funny how me and you are pretty much identical when it comes to our vcards being revoked, no joke that is exactly how it happened except switch dorm it for room