why hello world of NS. i've been a member of this site for quite some time now, but never really have any things worth posting. i stopped using the site for about 2 years but just kept my account, only now at college its a site i go on almost everyday. i always love when i browse through the non-ski gabber and read funny/entertaining stories, so here's one for all of you to read
right now i'm a freshmen at a school right in downtown providence. yesterday evening after my classes were done for the day, i logged onto my school e-mail to see that classes for today were all cancelled. there was supposed to be quite a bit of snow (we still havent received more than an inch) and there was a city wide parking ban in effect. so knwoing that the entire school had the next day off the evening before, it was pretty much like a weekend night.
i live in the dorms on campus, so i always either hit up the bars/clubs w/ my fake i.d. or just go to friends' houses for parties. no matter what though, i always seem to pregame my nights at the same one kids house. right as i am getting the news of school being cancelled my cell phone buzzes off, and it's that 'one kid'. "yo, no school, what do you wanna drink on tonight?" keep in mind that this kid is a straight up alcoholic, drinks every night (even if hes alone) and hits up the same liquor store 7 days a week where they know him by the name on his fake i.d.. so he asks me this and i'm just like "beers, coors or w/e" and he goes "aight, i'm gonna get some rum too. i'll swing by in 5 to get you"
i meet him out front, his car idling with the doors unlocked as he's in the 7/11 buying some cigs (this is also a daily occurence). so we get back to his place and start breaking coors tabs and i go along with taking double shots of c mo. bought a half hour later my roommate and our friend from down the hall show up and we start burning bowls and adding in shots of vodka they brought along. once we're all feeling buzzed we bounce over to this apartment on the other side of town, the kid from down my dorm floors hall dui status.
we get there, more drinks go down, pong, music, etc... the kid who drives wants to bounce back towards campus and eat at this pizza spot we always hit up drunk. go in there, order some slices, and then head back out on to the street. there we encounter a bum, cracked out asking for change. we didn't have any (i only carry my debit card around) but instead ask him if he has a lighter for a cigarette. he says no and asks us the same thing as he pulls some flimsy ass, damp grit out of his coat. one of the kids i'm w/ happens to find a light right then, lights me, and i proceeded to kiss light cigs w/ this homeless, cracked out black man.
some of my dudes go back to the dorms, some back to the apartment where my night started at. the girl i always chill w/ was at the second house we had been at so i walked the good 15 minutes back over there. i get there and the pong is still going and now they're all playing card games, something i have recently been all into when intoxicated. i just keep throwing beers back and having fun w/ the free night. i guess i turned on the stove burner and started making egg sandwiches for any who requested (not the 1st time i've done this, i love dem shitz and have perfected the egg sandwich recipe). i eat one of them as well, then they had tortilla chips. tortilla chips are the sole food that never fails to fuck my drunk ass over. i'd say 80% of the time i've puked from being drunk, tortilla chips had considerabel involvement.
so anyways, gobble all that food down and hit a couch w/ that girl right on the one next to me. me being drunk as fuck not even trying to get my dick up. i go to bed, it was probably around 3 or so, wake up at 9. theres a dorm right by this apartment and during the days busses run to and from the center of campus to there (i live on the center of campus). the girl and i get on our coats all set to go, my hand literally on the door handle. but i felt like shit, and quite literally, like shitting. this is where the story becomes more than fucked up.
i throw off my coat and go right over the toilet, and just start puking my brains out. nasty acid taste, chunks of all that food, and i just had to dump so bad. consequently, each time i heaved out some of this mangled, undigested food, my ass just starts pumping out shit. i can feel this running down my leg as i puke not knowing what the fuck to do. i open the door and call the girl to come in, ask her if she'll run back to my dorm to get me clothes between me repeatedly saying "this is fucked up!" and "i shit my pants!" as my face was blood red and my whole body was sweating.
now there are 3 people who live in this apartment, 1 guy and 2 girls. the guy lives upstairs in the loft and the two girls share this bathroom i had demolished downstairs. i'm friends w/ the guy and know one of the girls decently well, but not the other chick whatsoever. i hope into their shower, bring my shit covered jeans and boxers in with me, and straight up was the shit off of them and down their shower drain. i clean up the whole bathroom, dry off using a towel, and wonder "where is this girl at w/ my clothes?"
i needed my phone in my coat pocket, which was out on the couch in the living room. it was still early and figured no one would be up. only i open the door to see the girl i dont know on a couch w/ her laptop, staring at me wrapped in only her towel that was in direct contact to my ass that had just torn the place up. i simply say "oh hey, this is kinda weird", grab my phone and take it into the bathroom. i had a text from the girl and it said she was on her way back w/ my clothes. i'm just waiting it out in the bathroom and then fresh clothes were handed into me. i put them on, gym shorts, but better than shit stenched, wet jeans. i walk out, put my wet clothes into a bag and peace a few minutes later.
that is how i spent my first night of college knowing school was cancelled the next morning. definitely up there w/ one of the worst things thats ever happened to me.
sidebar*** ess a dee and read it
