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How to mess with telemarketers

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LMP
Posts: 83 - Karma: 16
post others if you have any ideas:

When they try to sell you long distance, explain that you do not have a phone.

Pretend to be a voice recording.

"Hold on while I get my credit card" - come back an hour later

Ask if they know how to get blood stains out of beige carpet

Try to sell them something.

Ask for their home number and tell them that you'll call them back at a more convenient time.

Pretend like you're on scene of a murder investigation, and say you have to interview them.

Act like an old lady who is hard of hearing and keep telling them to speak up.

Breathe heavily.
Jan 28 2010 1:27PM
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Yung_Gnarley
Posts: 9091 - Karma: 3,016
Ask for their home number and tell them that you'll call them back at a more convenient time.

this one's always fun
Jan 28 2010 1:30PM
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squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
tell them to fuck off
Jan 28 2010 1:31PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Just hang up.


And for some reason I thought this when I saw your thread title:

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Jan 28 2010 1:32PM
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Shaky_Jake
Posts: 252 - Karma: 14
tell them their voice is sexy and that you would like to take your relationship with them farther then just calling each other.
Jan 28 2010 1:36PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
pretend the person they're calling for has just died and start crying and blaming them for the death
Jan 28 2010 1:38PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Where is the fun in that?!

I have fond memories of my mom on the phone with telemarketers. She would give them a run for their money, that's for sure.
Jan 28 2010 1:41PM
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skeedle
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 628
my sister and i used to pretend to be my mom, and we would put the phone right next to the speakers and one of us would yell MOM and the other would come running and talk to them for like 15 minutes and then be like, oh no man i am just kidding. im 15 haha. this was like 5 years ago now probably haha!
Jan 28 2010 1:41PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
I have a friend that is a telemarketer in the summer. I really feel sorry for the guy sometimes with the shit he gets cause all he is doing is working for the firefighters that ask for donations and he still catches so much shit from people.
Jan 28 2010 1:46PM
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LMP
Posts: 83 - Karma: 16
yea i know a telemarketer too, and he says that he thinks that its funny when someone tries to fuck with him, thats what gets him through his long boring day
Jan 28 2010 1:48PM
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jorb.co
Posts: 2581 - Karma: 468
i sing them a song or play one if i have my speakers handy. usually crank dat haha.
Jan 28 2010 1:49PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Well, your friend needs to realize that people hate telemarketers, so he's gonna catch shit once in a while. Its the name of the game. And that it takes more muscles & energy to frown than to smile.
Jan 28 2010 2:06PM
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EL_POLL0_L0CO
Posts: 11 - Karma: 10
just go up to them and just grab their ass thats always wierd
Jan 28 2010 2:08PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Haha. He has gotten some people to stop yelling and just listen to him and made them feel like shit for yelling at him when he explains what he is calling for. Like you know the firefighters that hold the boots near intersections in cities sometimes?? yeah, he is a telemarketer for them.
Jan 28 2010 2:08PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
Tom Mabe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50&feature=related
Jan 28 2010 2:10PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
its definitely weird...
Jan 28 2010 2:10PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
sorry

Jan 28 2010 2:11PM
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ifli
Posts: 449 - Karma: 21
i read it as teleskiers
Jan 28 2010 2:23PM
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Negro_Jesus
Posts: 1789 - Karma: 91

post it on random forums and public bathroom stalls saying looking for a good time call ....

Jan 28 2010 2:48PM
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Bragger224
Posts: 265 - Karma: 13
haha sooo good.
Jan 28 2010 2:59PM
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MayorWest
Posts: 1596 - Karma: 160
i love the pretend the person thier calling for just died haha
Jan 28 2010 4:12PM
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nacho.steez
Posts: 435 - Karma: 136
Just pretend you are another telemarketer and start to try to sell them stuff.
Like :
"Hello, would you like to buy my product"
"Well I was wondering if you want to buy ________(Insert billy mays endorsed product) Only 19.95!
Keep messing around and they'll get P.O.ed
Jan 28 2010 5:25PM
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*steeze_is_good
Posts: 2885 - Karma: 718
Apparently they aren't aloud to hang up so just sing a song and see what they do
Jan 28 2010 5:37PM
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Slinger1x1
Posts: 8853 - Karma: 65
my dad just answers the phone is a chinese or indian accent and pretends he hardly speaks english
Jan 28 2010 5:40PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 177
just responding "yes" or "yes?" to everything is a good one
Jan 28 2010 5:44PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
*engrish
Jan 28 2010 5:45PM
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sammiedee
Posts: 974 - Karma: 175
my friend's house gets them all the time, like one or two an hour so when they call we pick up, tell them to hold on a sec then start throwing the phone around the room and making a bunch of noise. either that or just stick it in the couch and keep checking if they're there.
Jan 28 2010 5:48PM
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a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9210 - Karma: 5,357
https://newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/434158/
reminded me of this thread, which is quite the lolz
Jan 28 2010 5:48PM
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Happy.
Posts: 1248 - Karma: 9
Read bible verses to them. The odder the better.
Jan 28 2010 5:57PM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37

do people actually buy stuff from telemarketers?

Jan 28 2010 6:15PM
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LMP
Posts: 83 - Karma: 16
hahah thats a good one
Jan 28 2010 6:50PM
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henrytargett
Posts: 903 - Karma: 35
not quite sure how you can do this over the phone
Jan 28 2010 7:05PM
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apcaipse
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 25
I get called a lot by this place "telefund inc" and I always answer like this, "Hi this is Telefund Inc John speaking, how can I help you?" they always laugh and then keep talking, I cut them off and ask random questions about the company. It's pretty fun.
Jan 28 2010 7:30PM
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epic_line
Posts: 929 - Karma: 32
I was a telemarketer. And if you pissed me off I would press 3 and it would get someone else to call you back later. And if you keep being a asshole or you hang up your number stays in the system and we will call you back later.










So the only way for them to stop calling is if you say put me on the no call list, then by law we have to.
Jan 28 2010 7:38PM
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sammiedee
Posts: 974 - Karma: 175
what was that movie where the guy would always ask "are you grabbing my ass" when the person was nowhere near him?
Jan 28 2010 9:58PM
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Sklar
Posts: 8863 - Karma: 31,577
there are some good ones on here
makes me want a telemarketer call
Jan 28 2010 10:02PM
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chicken.
Posts: 289 - Karma: 587
night at the roxbury
Jan 28 2010 10:09PM
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sammiedee
Posts: 974 - Karma: 175
wow how did i forget that
Jan 28 2010 10:32PM
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kingsskier
Posts: 6212 - Karma: 2,101
Just explain a step by step process for a 2 on pretzel 2 off... They will be confused as fuck
Jan 28 2010 10:35PM
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RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14

please work!

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Jan 28 2010 10:40PM
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dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
hahaha that would be amazing.

Jan 28 2010 10:43PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
Act all happy and eager to buy the product and have a friend in the background make sounds like someones breaking in. Once this happens start screaming and running and then hide and get all quiet and tell them to please not hang up because you think you are going to die.
Jan 28 2010 10:50PM
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selkirks
Posts: 1978 - Karma: 59
I just though of one related to this... Pretend you're a Mormon and try to convert them. Haha
Jan 28 2010 11:16PM
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nipples-the-cat
Posts: 643 - Karma: 28
offer to pee in their butt for the product they are selling..or tel them you are trying to sell your herps...
Jan 29 2010 3:07AM
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hurrisun
Posts: 6284 - Karma: 49
now now be easy i was one for a while selling magazine in Canada PRC books of london if u get that shit i know the script haha but seriously i worked there for 8 shifts before i got fired for sucking at selling but people need telemarketing jobs i mcleans f they didn't exist we would have like 500000 more homeless people we know it sucks but when u be a dick we just hang up and say how much you suck like when people try to fuck around its soo much easier for the telemarketer to make u look like a dick people tried to fuck with me like mad but i had heard it all before so i finished their jokes and shit for them and thy just didn't know what to say and hung up telemarketers hate their 8 hours of calling you alot more then u hate being bothered for a maximum of 5 minutes
Jan 29 2010 3:20AM
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LMP
Posts: 83 - Karma: 16
alright, this is just kind of fucked up
Jan 29 2010 8:12AM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
my brother had a friend when we were younger who said he once answered the phone and they asked if the mr. or mrs. of the house was present, and he said nope, i'm just robbing the place, and hung up.
Jan 29 2010 8:22AM
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LMP
Posts: 83 - Karma: 16
haha, thats actually a sick idea, i might try it
Jan 29 2010 8:23AM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
why is there a magical link in my post :S
Jan 29 2010 8:30AM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,851
Jan 29 2010 9:09AM
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