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Getting my ass whooped!

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tinkytwinky
Posts: 2432 - Karma: 1,446

Ok so there is this huge fucking douch bag at my school names joey, probably the biggest prick i know. So this is when it all started (FYI: this kid,compared to me, is fucking huge, his dad is a security guard at the school and joey is a little like him, he plays football and has kicked so much ass before me) im talking to my other friend joe (very good friends with joey) then joey just comes up and says: "You know you look like an asshole! i want to beat your ass so hard."

I didnt even know him at this point. I just sorta ignored him and moved on. Then the other day it was nerd day for cross country and he starts throwing food at me, so i whip a pizza crust at him which hits him right in the face! Then im like "suck my dick douche bag" from there we had a long verbal fight from like a foot away from eachother, and he was like "im gonna punch u in the face" blah blah blah bluff. Im man enough to not pussy out of a fight (one is schedueled, -totally spelt wrong, and im a little scared and dont know what to do, ive been in fight where im the underdog but this seems impossibe.) and im pretty sure im gonna die.

So: theres this huge guy who wants to kill me, what should i do? talking is not an option hes fuking retarted. And is pulling a knife totally unfair? it is west side chicago.

Sep 26 2009 9:26PM
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tinkytwinky
Posts: 2432 - Karma: 1,446

wow i wrote that in such a hurry i know realize the terrible spelling and grammar mistakes i made.

i apologize.

Sep 26 2009 9:30PM
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tinkytwinky
Posts: 2432 - Karma: 1,446
this is true. Maybe a knife would not be the best idea then...
Sep 26 2009 9:31PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 608
http://www.brassknucklescompany.com/CRE/chrome-knuckles-p-72.html
Sep 26 2009 9:31PM
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pigglywiggly
Posts: 4482 - Karma: 305
if you know any judo or wrestling, you'll be fine. and if you can, try to punch him right in the nose as hard as you can so you break his tear glands and his vision gets screwed up. thats what i did to a kid that was 60 pounds bigger than me and i ended up winning the fight, actually absolutly fucking his entire month up, got on top of him and knocked out his 3 front teeth and broke some bones in his face...the fight was caused because his girlfriend and i were skiing, and on thing lead to another, and all of a sudden i was getting head haha..and he found out...
Sep 26 2009 9:37PM
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tinkytwinky
Posts: 2432 - Karma: 1,446

win^

and i forgot to say, he boxes, wrestles, and plays football...

i umm run cross country.

Sep 26 2009 9:40PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
so run around him and dodge his punches. or just be a bitch and dont show up, thats probably what id do.
Sep 26 2009 9:41PM
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ecski73
Posts: 840 - Karma: 12
get close enough to headbutt him in the face like zidane. this is the easiest way to win a fight that seems impossible to win. just follow with a lot of punches, but if you do it right you will break his nose and the fight will be over because he will be bleeding from the face... or you will have enough time to get away. it seems kinda lame but it is the most effective.
Sep 26 2009 9:42PM
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pigglywiggly
Posts: 4482 - Karma: 305
well i play hockey and golf, and that kid lifted everyday, had mad temperment issues, and played soccer...but i just thats sorta even.

just DO NOT let him get on top. your day will be fucked. and dont worry about it, it probley wont even happen, and if it does, someone will break it up before it gets too bad. no one broke up my fight cause everyone wanted me to kick his ass haha
Sep 26 2009 9:43PM
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steve0
Posts: 1119 - Karma: 1,036
hold a roll of quarters in your hand when you punch
Sep 26 2009 9:45PM
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Squid.
Posts: 1904 - Karma: 23
I would suggest not fighting him, he's bigger than you and has more experience in fights.
Sep 26 2009 9:46PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 608
I got headbutted once and I totally lost the fight, it didnt really hurt, but my nose bleeds really easily so i was basically incapacitated. nobody wants to keep fighting when their nose is gushing blood. Its def the best spot to go for.

Also, a roll of quarters/nickels/pennies/ whatever works well inside your fist.

You could also just show up in a tall tee and with ski boots, pants and ski poles (skis not necessary, are we crazy, its summertime) and start pretending your poles are ninja swords.
Sep 26 2009 9:46PM
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ryan.s
Posts: 462 - Karma: 47
just get some friends that would help you

oh and saying suck my dick is gay and basically saying "fight me"
Sep 26 2009 9:54PM
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ryan.s
Posts: 462 - Karma: 47
and have some1 record it plz then post it here k thanks
Sep 26 2009 9:55PM
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GoonThug
Posts: 324 - Karma: 16
role with a crew.
or
kick him in the face with a ski boot
Sep 26 2009 9:56PM
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garrets
Posts: 1447 - Karma: 60
learn the 5 point palm exploding heart technique
Sep 26 2009 9:58PM
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hoodhugo
Posts: 988 - Karma: 33
you sir, are FUCKED
Sep 26 2009 9:59PM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
make friends with the 2 most thug ass black kids at your school. Thats what I did and the other night this kid was lookin to square up so i called up patrick and addie and they rolled up with me. They werent gonna fight him they were just gonna have my back but the kid flipped out and pussied out.
Sep 26 2009 10:02PM
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dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
i can see you doing that alex
Sep 26 2009 10:04PM
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horner
Posts: 2439 - Karma: 1,578
Scheduled fight? that's so 80's
Sep 26 2009 10:04PM
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tinkytwinky
Posts: 2432 - Karma: 1,446

not like

"ayy meet me after school in the playground!" more like "on any given day this week, when i next see you outside of school...im gonna destroy you."

Sep 26 2009 10:08PM
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ParkLife01
Posts: 378 - Karma: 17

ok.....weve all been in this problem...i have too...but i won because i know way to much useless stuff about killing people...but watev.......the key for u to win is simple dont get in a fist fight u will lose(sorry) he is a football player wich means he know the proper way to tackle...taunt him enought to make him charge ..... when he tries to tackle u ur going to put a move on him called the guillotine  ...its an mma move that will knock him out in 10 seconds ...... if you hold him in the move for more than 15 he will die ...so dont!!! its way to hard to explain in words so heres a vid:)

Sep 26 2009 10:10PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,180
i'd go with the ghetto ass black people technique. no one wants to mess with hoodrats
Sep 26 2009 10:17PM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
hell yeah. Plus being friends with some hoodrats is fun as fuck. its good to know you got someone thug as shit having your back
Sep 26 2009 10:26PM
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Cudder.
Posts: 2248 - Karma: 307
steroids
Sep 26 2009 10:28PM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21061 - Karma: 8,366
You are a fool.  Why would you get in a fight that you know you're going to lose?  Be the bigger man and walk away.
Sep 26 2009 10:36PM
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east_toast
Posts: 479 - Karma: 16
flying knee
Sep 26 2009 10:37PM
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yojimbo
Posts: 3631 - Karma: 27
once you start fighting him adn the adrenaline kicks in you wont be able to remember a thing you thought about doing before the fight starts and everything will be instinct, so just practice throwing punches on a bag, because most people really dont know how to punch without fucking there own shit up. thats gonna be the most important thing is being able to throw solid punches.
Sep 26 2009 10:41PM
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panojibber
Posts: 3382 - Karma: 216
Other people gave you actual advice, so I'm just going to take the responsibility of telling you you're a fucking idiot.

But that guy is an asshole and I hope you fuck him up.

Good luck, go for soft spots, don't leave yourself wide open. Fight like you're serious, not like you're doing it to make a show out of it. You have to take pretty much every opportunity to fuck him up. Kidneys, stomach, nose, sternum are all fair game.
Sep 26 2009 11:00PM
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bout_it
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 17
/thread.
Sep 26 2009 11:08PM
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jasontheredhead
Posts: 955 - Karma: 243

how bad is the size difference?

if you are really desperate bring a lot of big people with you to back you up, kinda bitchy but sounds like it is kinda necessary

Sep 26 2009 11:09PM
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NickSki.
Posts: 2009 - Karma: 61
Break his ankles.

/thread
Sep 26 2009 11:12PM
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Hufflepuff
Posts: 165 - Karma: 10

Sounds like a really shitty situation. If it were me I would fight him. Reasons being, he will prob fuck with you until you do fight, so you might as well get it over with, and once you fight him it will show him your not scared of him even if you lose. Just make shure and bring a big group of friends who are jacked to back you up. Usually a fight like this only lasts a few seconds before it is broken up so its not like hes going to kill you . And even if you lose you will get a lot of street cred for standing up to the asshole.

Good luck dude evenutally karma will catch up with this kid

Sep 26 2009 11:19PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 608
You should jsut walk up to him and fuck him up like you are the one who wanted to fight him in the first place.

Then teabag him like in halo!
Sep 26 2009 11:23PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15949 - Karma: 9,431
then fucking run!
Sep 26 2009 11:23PM
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Ice_Cream_Man
Posts: 884 - Karma: 41
Shove your dick in his ass or pee in his but.
Sep 26 2009 11:34PM
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mason-
Posts: 955 - Karma: 45

watch chug life 2 when margetts does fighting tips

"kick in the nuts and walk away"

Sep 26 2009 11:41PM
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double_D
Posts: 778 - Karma: 25
yeah seriously
or just stare at one of your fingers to confuse him then just toattal full speed jab him in the throat with it,
ive seen this done, my dad fucked this guy up, we own a tavern so yeah
Sep 26 2009 11:43PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
wouldn't you have to stick your dick in his ass to pee in his butt?


Sep 26 2009 11:47PM
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double_D
Posts: 778 - Karma: 25
long distance?
Sep 26 2009 11:50PM
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ElbridgeGerry
Posts: 5902 - Karma: -27
Knowing the NSers that I do, I just can't help but laugh at this thread. Kids that are like 5'9" and 130 lbs talking about punching him in the throat and shit, it's just funny to visualize.

You want some advice, learn how to punch properly, but considering you're a XC runner you prolly have some fucking beefy legs so..learn how to kick properly. Keep your body centered and your arms in close to your sides when you kick so you're not flailing about, sort of push forward with your hips as you connect. Also don't forget about your elbows and knees, they are twice as strong as your fists and don't break nearly as easily. A proper knee to the gut will drop some pretty decent sized dudes. Also whoever suggested headbutting earlier is a genius. If you smack him hard enough in the nose and his eyes water up you can just open up on him, try getting him in a headlock and just unload, he'll prolly be so stunned that he won't get out of it.

Anyway, bump this thread once you fight him.

Sep 27 2009 12:30AM
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.Asain-Skiier
Posts: 3708 - Karma: 977
so.. my suggestion is to probably roll with other people. also twinky dont you live in michigan and if it is near gh and the cops bust the fight like they did with a fight near my town..run like hell
Sep 27 2009 1:34AM
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appa
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,739
DANGA DA DANGA DA DANG. BANG BANG BANG. this guy won't have a chance if you do exactly this:
Sep 27 2009 1:40AM
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.AR6rider
Posts: 444 - Karma: -106
ghost ride yah whip
Sep 27 2009 1:41AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 608
lets hope it goes something like this fight


Sep 27 2009 1:52AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
you may have misspelled schedule, but you did make a kind of cool schedule-duel hybrid which seemed appropriate


glad i could help
Sep 27 2009 2:26AM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
Wait, none has mentioned this yet?

KICK HIM IN THE BALLS.
Sep 27 2009 2:46AM
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el_chupacabra
Posts: 639 - Karma: 14
i'd say this is your best bet to completely fuck him up
Sep 27 2009 3:22AM
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EH_DUBS
Posts: 3080 - Karma: 969
il always remember this fight when i was in like grade 9. kid was so much smaller than the guy too, he made a big huge deal of bringing his right hand back to punch then fucking jabbed with his left broke the kids nose and then fucking hit him with his right and the kid just fell down and tried to get up and like fell over again and then people broke it up.

but he was wide open when he did that...i dunno i took taekwondo when i was younger i know how to punch good but ive never been in a fight outside of that training so i dont really know what to tell you.

honestly you should just back out, but if you really think you have to fight, let him throw the first punch, that way if anything ever escalates to court or something you can claim self defense you never know. and play defensively, kids that just go in swinging all the time are stupid. dont let him get to close dont let him get on top of you. side step around him a lot. but really you shouldnt fight at all.

Sep 27 2009 5:46AM
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tinkytwinky
Posts: 2432 - Karma: 1,446
no, im ni northern IL i just ski mich. every once in a while.
Sep 27 2009 8:45AM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
another big thing. Dont leave yourself unprotected for long but if you can do it fast, reach forward with your weak hand, swipe away his hands from his face and then come with your stronger one.
Sep 27 2009 10:28AM
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