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Sick excuses for work

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landonn
Posts: 2913 - Karma: 385
I missed work this morning cause there was a sick party and i didnt want to miss it. right now my excuse is my aunt was in town and made one of her famous dishes and something in it made me sick. does anybody have any other legit excuses.
Jul 25 2009 10:40AM
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grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175
just tell him jesus told me i couldnt go to work today...no one wants to be on jesus bad side
Jul 25 2009 10:44AM
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thecounty
Posts: 1450 - Karma: 290
tell them you had explosive diarrhea. no body wants to hear about the mud butt. you will be in the clear. trust me.
Jul 25 2009 11:07AM
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japanada
Posts: 13784 - Karma: 1,957
exactly, its called IBS, irritable bowl syndrome.
Jul 25 2009 11:18AM
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dguay13
Posts: 372 - Karma: 14
just say food poisoning, people dont ask questions haha
flu
migraine
back spasms


these have all worked for me
Jul 25 2009 11:28AM
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jimmer
Posts: 3586 - Karma: 80
tell him that your aunt came to visit from guatemala and the food she brought had parasites in it and that you had small worms coming out of your penis hole all day long and that it was excruciating and you would never wish that pain upon anybody
Jul 25 2009 11:28AM
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Squishmitten
Posts: 456 - Karma: 19
HA literally the exact thing i was gonna say when i saw the topic... trust me it works flawlessly... that was my number one excuse in highschool.. and now i use it for work all the time... some times even class in college now if its one of my smaller classes (the teacher never seems to look at you the same tho)
Jul 25 2009 11:55AM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606

haha once, i had to go into work one day, while i was still in school, problem is i still went out drinking the night before and prolly got home some ridiculous A.M. hour and had to get up at 6 to go write an exam.  so i got up and lately when i drink too much and don't sleep and eat it off i get mad vertigo, i sweat, it's disgusting and i feel like i'm dying, worst hangovers ever, so i had to call my boss and say that i just got the flu and i couldn't stop throwing up at school. which i hadn't thrown up, but yeah, pretty fucked.

hasn't happened recently but i don't take rest for granted anymore...

Jul 25 2009 11:56AM
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Kmania
Posts: 756 - Karma: 79
I wanted to cut out of work half day, so I said I ate taco-bell and started puking. I got a big speech about how there's cockroaches and junk in the food, and how was I so dumb. haha but I got out half day. My boss is a dumbass
Jul 25 2009 11:58AM
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InkShrink
Posts: 1079 - Karma: 30

Yeah, I've used the explosive diarrhea before. Works wonders.

I've used the excuse that my grandma's died at least 4 times now and they still haven't caught on.

Recently, I've been enjoying the excuse of urinary tract infections, UTI.

Jul 25 2009 12:26PM
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erichkuss
Posts: 839 - Karma: 12

Say you have osgood shaltters.

Jul 25 2009 12:27PM
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montageskier
Posts: 4725 - Karma: 126
Your grandma was boiling water, and the cat jumped on the stove.The cat caught on fair, and you need to bring it to the animal hospital.
Jul 25 2009 12:37PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Diarrhea, works every time cause they don't even want to talk about it. Or think about it.
Jul 25 2009 12:58PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Aww, I should have read first before thinking I had the great idea. Dammit!
Jul 25 2009 12:58PM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
food poisoning is the best excuse possible. you cant prove you dont have it, it cant be treated and needs to work its course, and you never know how or when ur gona get it
Jul 25 2009 1:20PM
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Valind
Posts: 4358 - Karma: 17
tell them you are mormon
Jul 25 2009 2:12PM
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BC.
Posts: 1551 - Karma: 86
pretty sure legally they arent allowed to make you come in if you say your sick so....hey im sick dont know whats wrong. k bye.
Jul 25 2009 5:00PM
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sarahskis
Posts: 1587 - Karma: 41
"when i stand, poop falls out my butt"

explicit enough to send you home forever.

Allergic reaction works pretty well too. Picture coming to work in boils and puffy eyes
Jul 25 2009 5:09PM
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45.
Posts: 3164 - Karma: 170
yes, tell them you have osgood schlatters disease and its so bad you cannot walk. they cant doubt you and they cant prove you dont have it either
Jul 25 2009 5:20PM
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Bassage.
Posts: 512 - Karma: 822
yes, poop falls out my butt when i stand, nice!
Jul 25 2009 5:22PM
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caucasian_chad
Posts: 4078 - Karma: 3,625
Powder day:

I can't come in to work today, it's really coming down out there, I mean I think I'm coming down with something *coughcough*
Jul 25 2009 5:24PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 372
"I just found out I have AIDS"
Jul 25 2009 5:28PM
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B_Sellegren
Posts: 126 - Karma: 21
or LBS, loosy bowel syndrome.
Jul 25 2009 5:56PM
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Franny
Posts: 3980 - Karma: 77
Say your have H1N1 virus.
Jul 25 2009 6:39PM
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ski@jaypeak2
Posts: 2800 - Karma: 394
Terrible idea.  If you are old ebough to have a job it is your responsiblity not your parents.  I manage many high schoolers and I fucking hate it when a parent goes to bat for the kids.  On a lighter note everyone else is correct in the runs.  But start to go into detail about the color and your butt stinging, they will probably hang up on you instead of arguing.
Jul 25 2009 6:55PM
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fourhundred
Posts: 2760 - Karma: 21
I'm assuming you meant to say "fire" not fair. How do you mix that up?
Jul 25 2009 7:37PM
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Moostafa
Posts: 232 - Karma: 15
i was totally banking on some kid from my school getting that this year so we could be out for 2 weeks, but serioulsy go with the food poisioning. works like a charm haha
Jul 25 2009 8:06PM
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NilsJ
Posts: 102 - Karma: 15
say you didn't feel like coming in and you dont really give a fuck about your job, so you just blew it off.
Jul 25 2009 10:16PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
just claim a mental breakdown and you are now on medication so you are all better now
Jul 25 2009 10:18PM
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a_pla5tic_bag
Posts: 9210 - Karma: 5,357
Tell them you have H5N1, that won't go well.
Jul 25 2009 10:23PM
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MACAQUE
Posts: 2811 - Karma: 696
You took too much viagra and didn't want to show up to work with a boner.
Jul 25 2009 10:26PM
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yeyeesteeze121
Posts: 9 - Karma: 11
this thread is hilarious.
Jul 25 2009 11:16PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
tell them you were getting an abortion
or tell them you lost your ipod nano, but upon further examination, your ear buds were hanging out of your butt hole
tell them jesus said you couldnt, nobody argues with jesus
tell them you were too high to come in.............
Jul 25 2009 11:45PM
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thelizards
Posts: 4042 - Karma: 43

diarrhea is the answer to any excuse.

why weren't you here during geometry? DIARRHEA, BIOTCH.

Jul 26 2009 12:02AM
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landonn
Posts: 2913 - Karma: 385
he bought my excuse but he is still writing me up. WTF!!
Jul 26 2009 2:05AM
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Z_rob
Posts: 3076 - Karma: 152
tell them that your buddies put mass amounts of laxadives in your water at dinner last night.

they wont ask any questions or details on that
Jul 26 2009 2:44AM
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PAINE_IN_MAINE
Posts: 300 - Karma: 13

call in and say " I there is something wrong with my eyes, I just cant see myself coming in today" 

this one is more of a joke, tell me if you use it

Jul 26 2009 8:08AM
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ski@jaypeak2
Posts: 2800 - Karma: 394
yes i did.  You said have your parents call you in.  I think thats lame.
Jul 26 2009 11:20AM
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