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Alright, here's the deal. I got this from some other forum and since many of you don't explore other forums, it's probably pretty new and incredibly simple.
A lot of people have horribly funny things they would only share if guaranteed anonymity, well now is your chance.
Send your hilarious, disturbing, or irrelevant stories to nsconfessions@gmail.com by using this website.
http://anonymouse.org/anonemail.html
Cliff notes!
1. Go to http://anonymouse.org/anonemail.html
2. Enter nsconfessions@gmail.com in the "to" field.
3. Type your awesome story/confession
4. It will get posted in this thread for an insane amount of lols.
one time i was in the bathroom weighing myself whilst naked, leant to far forwards and my dick touched the heated towel rail that had a fault on it which meant it got stupidly hot. anyway, instantly jumped back only to realize some skin had been ripped off my dick and was stuck to the radiator. immensely painful....
"In 8th grade I fucked my drunk girlfriend. She still doesn't know. I was sober.
On a lighter note, I was at a friends house using the bathroom, was looking at
a picture on the wall as I peed, which then cause me to miss the toilet so I ended
up with a little puddle on the ground, with no toilet paper left I used their wicked
nice hand towels to mop up the piss."
"I recently bought a really nice flashlight that I keep in my car. When
I'm driving around at night I always hope a wreck or something bad will
happen so I can whip out my flashlight and shine it around and be nosey."
I was at this party in high school with my gf at the time (at my best friends house). The party died down, and mostly everyone left. We were messing around a little bit, and decided to order some porn off of the direct tv. We bought the first one, and it sucked. So we bought another, it was a little better but still not up to par, so we bought another($19.99 each) . The third one was good so we left it at that. I woke up in the morning and didnt remember anything about ordering porn. Two weeks later im hanging out over there with my buddy, and his mom got the bill (then it all came back to me). She was FUCKIN pissed (shes very religious). She made my friend go straight to church and confess!! I still havent told him it was me.
a long time ago when i was a horny preteen, i was "waxing my rocket" and well i heared some one coming and so i quick zipped my my pants up and my dick started to burn, but i couldnt do anything cause my sister was right there so i just had to wait till she left well she finely left after what felt like an eternity....
and well after investigating i found that i cut my head, lol, it hurt when ever i pissed cause it was right there where the piss came out.... im pretty sure there a scar there now.... thats my confession though its more of a perverted story.... haha
"Well, it was new years of 2006, i was 16, we were at a party, getting wild, when some older woman rocks up drinking a bottle of champagne, i decide to try my luck, as she was mad wasted, i wasnt yet, i poked her and ate her out, then later gave her cock breath. found out the next day that it was the girls whose party it was auntie, who was 34, had 2 young kids and husband, i know this because someone told me that the girl saw her getting with someone and they were trying to find the "bastard" who got with her...."
"on new years i got supppper wasted, in the run of 30 minutes i drank a pint of goldslager and 3 beer, then smoked a bowl and ended up in the washroom throwin up for an hour. soon enough i was back at it again drinkin and this girl i know that likes me came to the cabin i was at. soo i brushed my teeth like 3 times and went upstairs for some action and the likes. after that subsided i went back downstairs and hit up the bong in the cabin cuz all the parents were out and my buddies were sessioning. next thing yah know my friends dad and his dad's gf showed up while the bong was out. sooooo.... shit went down and we ended up smokin the bong with my buds mom lmao."
This one time i was waxin it in the shower but i finished showering and decided to get out of the shower and finish on the porcelain throne. But sine I'd just gotten out of the shower I was really wet and slipped off the toilet. Unfortunately, my bathroom counter is really close to my toilet and hit my head on the sharp part of the counter. To make matters worse, I split my forehead open and was bleeding all over the place. That was a fun injury to explain.
time to claim. i sent him that, and then thought, darn it, that doZnt need to be annoymos, i should be stoked. but thats the 1st time i told anyone haha
One time I totally let my friend hook up with this fat chick just so I could tease him about it the next day/years. Ahahaha Colin wherever you are on this site I hope you don't see that.
its extremely dangerous. before you know it, you are covered in their cottage cheese and stink of ham. its happened to me on more than one occasion. not proud of it. the only time its fun is when you and your buds go hogging those nights always end up interesting.
so me and my baseball team were having a team bonding night at my friends house one night... his property is a huge pasture down by the main road with a mile long driveway leading up to his house covered by trees... so we were bored and decided hey! lets go throw shit at cars driving by!
From now on all of the confessions will be in italics! This won't confuse people hopefully.
"i met my boyfriend on NS and i couldn't be happier"
"earlier this year my boyfriend was spending the weekend in the dormswith me. my roomie was out of town, so we had the room to ourselves. So here's the scene: my bed is up on a loft to save room...not goodfor hooking up. my roomies bed is on the ground, so naturally, wegravitate towards it. well things got a little hot in the before weknow it...SHAZZZAM! jizz all over her pillow. like the one she sleepson every night. my boyfriend just rubbed it in and called it good. Idie a little bit inside everytime I see her sleeping on it. :D"
"At a party and my wing man usually tells me who I can and cant hook upwith because I am a whore and will hit anything while Im dunk, figuresthat this on time he couldnt be there and ended up hookin up with anbelow average girl, also a freshman, im a junior and it turns out thegirl I was talking to and I still on now gives this freshman a ride toschool every morning. And the freshman of course told the whole school,which was an all girls school and shit spread I luckily told the girl Iam talking to the previous night and she wasnt that mad, but the factof the matter is that I actully did that shit. Story gets worse, myother best friend that was actually there got sloppy seconds from me,hes a senior. Epic Shit and I still get hacked on for it and ithappened 2 months ago."
"My friends and i went out into the woulds to go camping and some other stuff. It was fun and the last night a friend passed out and we put stuff all over him. I put some honey on his chin and stuck a piece of beef on there. HE woke up to a bear.
The bear chased him to this stream where he was cornered at a waterfall maybe 40 feet.
He jumped and tossed all of his crap like phone and ipod. I got my bow out to shoot it while...
It mauled my friend in the stomach and fell off the waterfall. My friend had his splein removed and broke his femur.
Lets just say i can't figure out a decent way to put it that I put honey on his face."
"One night after a long day of skiing I came home and was ready to takea shower. Earlier that day I had at least 3 five hour energies and Ifelt great but my bowels did not agree. Came home had a huge fartcoming on, squeezed it out slowly, but it was uncontrollable. A shitton of "diarrhea like" poo came streaming out my asshole. I feltashamed of myself. I threw away those pair of boxers in the trashcanand my mom found them a couple days later. I denied they were mine."
i had diarra one day and just wanted to get on the mountain. so i decided to take a run before going to the bathroom. i overshoot a jump and shat myself when i landed. so i skied directly to the bathroom and cleaned up and threw away my underwear.
one time was traversing and kept farting, but when I finally did like this little four stager pillow line(each like 6ft) and when i got to the bottom I was completely convinced that I had shit my pants. I told my little 16 yr old sister, and when riding up the lift to the chalet she asks me "Have you figured out the shit situation in your pants"? completely forgetting this lady was on the lift... needless to say it was an awkward ride up. Luckily turned out to just be some serious swass!
i just read 27 out of 71 pages of the sp thread and it started off funny but got pretty deep. listen to this:
and read this (not mine)
Two years ago I met this girl, I'm not going to say when or how because
i feel that some one i know will figure out who i am, and i don't want
anyone to know this stuff.
Okay two years ago, I meet this girl.
She's great, she's cute easy to talk to, makes me smile. Just the
perfect girl for me. Well a few months go past and we decide to take a
break (that means she wanted to take a break) I spend hours on the
phone trying to keep her from breaking up with me. This girl was at the
time, the most important thing in my life. I didn't know it at this
particular instance in time but i was in love with her. So a few days
go past, i give her as much distance as i can handle giving her. She
comes over to my friend's house and i'm outside skating my box with
some friends. At this moment i'm probably the HIGHEST i've been in my
entire life. I guess i was upset still about loosing her, so i thought
getting super blazed would help me forget all about it. Well about
twenty minutes after her and my friend (who's a girl) head up to this
park near my neighborhood. A few minutes after that i muster up the
courage to go over and say hey, (i'm still completely s
toned by
the way) So i'm talking to her, asking her how she's been things are
going good. We start holding hands, kissing acting like nothing's
happened. So we decide that we want to go over to a picnic table and
talk about whats going on. So we're making our way over to the table
and she jumps onto my back and says in the most adorable way "take me
to the table with you" i don't know why but it just made my heart melt
the way she said it. So i take her over there, having a little
difficulty carrying her. Not because she was heavy, but because i was
having difficulty walking let alone walking with someone attached to my
back. So i swing and sway my way over to the table, when we're about to
get to the table i slip and fall forward, slinging this girl who had
just broken up with me and possibly was considering going back out with
me right into the edge of the table. She starts crying instantly, i
feel so bad. But i had no idea what to do to make her feel any better.
So i just
start yammering "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry"
thinking that maybe if i say it a whole lot then she'll understand that
i'm really sorry. It takes a few minutes, but she finally calms down
and some how manages not to be pissed off. She told me it wasn't my
fault, that accidents happen.. So a few days later i buy this girl a
necklace and come up with something really sweet to say to her to ask
her back out. She says yes and we date again for about a half a month
before she dumps me again. We don't talk to eachother for months, i'm
completely devastated. I had to take the drowzy cough medicine so i
could sleep. Because all i could think was "what is it that's so wrong
with me that this girl doesn't want to be with me?"
So summer
time passes and we go into school. We end up in the same lunch as one
another and we start talking again, she's dating this guy who is
treating her like shit. She tells me she misses me, and that she misses
the way i treated her (which if i don't mind saying was pretty damn
good... i would have done ANYTHING for that girl at that point.
Including die for her) So she dumps the guy she's dating and me and her
give it another shot. We're at her house and i look straight into her
eyes and say "i love you" and she asks "do you love me? or are you in
love with me?" i tell her quietly "i think i'm starting to really fall
for you" and i ask her if she loves me or if she's in love with me and
she tells me she's in love with me too. Could you imagine how happy i
was at that moment? I finally had succeeded at making this girl that
was so important to me, fall in love with me. Needless to say i only
wanted to hang out with her. I was with her whatever chance i got. I
slowly sta
rted drifting from my friends, i stopped skating as
much. The only time i spoke to someone other than my girlfriend was
when i was upset about something she said to me. Needless to say i was
in love, and not the good kind. I competely smothered this girl,
calling her all the time. Trying to come up with new ways to express
the way i felt for her.
A few months go on, and one night we're
on the phone. She's telling me that she was on the phone with this kid.
And that they talked all day, I ask her if she likes him. She replies
"no" so i tell her good because I'm in love with her. She tells me that
she's in love with me too, and i'm instantly happy again. We continue
talking and she says "i lied to you" i'm like what about you liking
that guy? with the slightest bit of panic in my voice. She says no not
that. She hesitates and i pry it out of her she finally says "i'm not
in love with you" right after she says this my eyes start watering up
and i begin crying non stop. Eventually she calms me down and tells me
that she only feels like that when i'm not around her. That when she
sees me tommorow morning at school everything will be back to normal
she'll love me like she said she did before and everything will be fine.
So
the next day at school things are weird. In my heart i knew that things
would never work out, i knew that if you're in love with someone and
they're not in love with you then there's no way that things could
possibly work.. I of course didn't break up with her, i was desperate
to have this girl's affection. Eventually we broke up, what for i'm not
sure. But i knew what the real reason was. I'd told her too much about
how i feel, i let my guard down and got crushed.
Ever since then
i've never let myself get truely close to a person, i won't let anyone
know that i truely care about them until or if they tell me first. I'm
determined not to let myself get as close to anyone as i was to that
girl.
Since the final break up we've gone from hating eachother
to loving each other and back and forth. We've decided that we were
cutting eachother out of our lives at least three times.
I know
what you're probably thinking. If she doesn't love me then why does she
keep dragging me along. I wonder that, i've had multiple therories as
to why this happens. I first thought that she was actually in love with
me, she just didn't realize it. I thought that i just needed to break
her "barriers" and she would be mine. That theory was dead wrong.
Another one was that she just liked to mess with my head, that she only
wanted me to in love with her. That she had instilled some sense of
pride in herself that she had someone that would do anything for her at
any given moment. The most recent theory is this. She only "loves" me
when there is absoloutely no prospects left, when she's hit rock bottom
and has nowhere else to turn. That she only "realizes how much she
loves me" when there's no one else there to cloud her judgement. I've
asked her about it, she's just fed me nice stories and made me feel
good when i know in my heart she's lying to me.
Bottom line, for
the last two years four months and seven days of my life, i've been
hopelessly in love with a girl who doesn't feel the same way about me
in the slightest. Yeah there have been other girls, i could never bring
myself to officially date any of them. Because i still foolishly
believed that i could make thing work with this girl i've been so
strung out over.
To this day i go over to her house, early in
the morning to hang out with her not to "keep the later part of the day
clear" but so i can curl up with her in her bed, and maybe if i'm lucky
get to kiss her. Some how just touching that girl, (in the most
un-perverse way just makes my heart melt) even though i know in my head
that things will never happen, she will never have a fraction of the
feelings i have for her.
But somehow for however brief just
pretending makes me feel better. Gives me hope (no matter how false)
that things have a chance to change.
another deep one from sp:
To start off I have never told anyone this, not even close family members. Yet it still haunts me to this very day.
It
was one of those days in the fall when everyone went back to school yet
I'm the fuck up that did shitty in high school goes to a community
college. All of friends go away and I'm left to do my own thing. Well
on this one, random Tuesday in September I decided to cut class and
head to NYC. Not to skate, just to kind of walk around and take in the
atmosphere. So I took the 6:30 train in early in the morning and get
into the city about 7:15. I make my way downtown and end up going into
the North Tower of the World Trade Center since I have never been there
before. I walked around for a few minutes and then went outside and got
breakfast at this little place up the block. So I finished my breakfast
and by now its around 8:40ish so I stroll over to the bottom of the
North Tower. As I was looking up towards the top I am just in awe and
thinking wow this is unreal how they could engineer and construct a
building of this magnitude. I turned around and looked up the block a
little bit, and I see a plane and I thought to myself, "Damn that plane
is fucking low what the hell? Kennedy Airport isn't even close to here.
While watching it I look directly overhead and I hear a BOOM, a
fireball directly above me smoke going everywhere, people screaming. I
just start sprinting, I don't even know where I ran to I just ran and
ran and kept running. About five minutes later I hear another boom and
I turn around. "No fucking way, the other plane just hit the south
tower" someone says near me. I just kept going and I didn't look back
after that. All I could think about was the faces and shapes of every
person I saw enter that building, go up the elevator, buy coffee from
the coffee shop, get a newspaper and head on up to their offices. Are
they dead, are they burning alive, did they jump out of the building? I
just ran and cried. I believe I ended up 30 or so blocks away. I
stopped running finally and I sat down. I just sat there with my hands
on my face and cried, I couldn't even tell you how long I did this. All
I know is I finally got my shit together and went to get up and I hear
a crack, crush, slam noise and a dust cloud just appears and starts
going everywhere downtown. I asked a police officer if another plane
just hit the tower, but he just looks at me and says "That wasn't
another plane, the tower collapsed." All I remember after that is
running across a bridge and calling my girlfriend to pick me up. She
asked me if I was okay and what I was doing in the city on this random
tuesday. I told her "I don't know, lets just go home."
Ever
since September 11, 2001 I told my family and friends I was uptown
doing some shopping, that I was never near the world trade center. I
truly hope that every face I saw that morning made it out of the
buildings and survived, but I will never know for sure. Why didn't I go
up the elevator, why didn't I go eat breakfast at the top of the tower,
why didn't I sit down in the lobby, why did all these people die and I
didn't? I will remember this day for the rest of my life and I will
never forget a face I saw that random, Tuesday morning.
