Birthday Party Gone Wrong

SO Im 20.

I had a party sat night. I find life is still toying with me like a cat with a stuffed mouse. I had been planning and spreading the word weeks in advance, and knowing how easy it was in high school to get your house trashed by humdreds of people, I was expecting some shit ass crazy times. I spent all sat cleaning in preperation. I call some people, Im expecting them around 6 or 7. I got tons of assurances, so I wait. And wait. And wait. 9 pm, no ones called or shown up. 10 pm...no one....10:45.....Im getting very bitter, what the hell is going on? ding dong. there's my first partiers, a few girls from a few houses down who I wasn't even expecting. Then some boys start showin up, and the drinking has begun. The insanity is coming..I am prepared....not realizing that I would be the most insane of the bunch. Around 1:30, Im ripped and decide to get my skis on. So i get suited up, and take to the stairs. I flew down the upstairs staircase, smashing right into the front door. Then I tried to stand on my yoga ball with my skis on, only to fly off and smash my giant tower of beer botttles, cans, black light, and lava lamp in my window, setting in motion a distarous chain of destruction and trashing. I then ski down into my basement, flyin full speed into my big freezer, sparks everywhere. Then I decide to bike down the stairs with my ski boots on. made a huge dent in my freezer. Then the shit reaaaally gets crazy. Me n Steve start a war. I start throwing anything I can find, golf balls, beer bottles, my couch, pots and pans, my table and chairs, plates, the phone book, anything and everything. He gets the golf putter and starts hitting everything I throw, smashing bottles and playing golf in my house. There's a huge hole in my wall where a swing of the club went through. Steve tries to break a bottle over his head. twice. hahaha. I roll my couch down the stairs. so much fun. the war lasts till 330, when I decide to retire. I go to bed, and the 2 spanish girls keep trying to get into my bed for a threesome. Im only interested in one of them, so it's just her, or none. Meh, they can both hit the road. All of a sudden a girl (not really a girl.....closer to a woman) comes upstairs and into my room. She's from a few houses down, and I barely ever talked to her. I thought she didn't like me cause she's always quiet, cynical and sarcastic. Intruiging though. So she comes in, and I can see she's beyond loaded. See started telling me about the sex party she was at...all girl sex party, and how her toys are coming in 7 to 10 days, basically telling me everything. Im tellin ya, it was crazy. she takes her top off and passes out on my bed. thats the short version. Meanwhile, people are still in my house trashing it....mainly the pissed off spanish chicks. She wakes up in the morning and the hilarity ensues. 'What the hell!!!!!!??' 'Where the fuck am I?''' totally had no idea. 'ok, my pants are still on, I slightly know the guy next to me....not bad...but I have no Idea where home is.' She puked all over my bed, the day after I just did my laundry......all in all, it was one of the wierdest, craziest, funniest things that has ever happened to me. She had NO IDEA where she was or how she got there. I told her that she danced for me, and she got super embarrrassed. 'I don't dance for many people, you're lucky'...no, Im a liar. the damage was extensive to my house. Still haven't touched it. Got some wickid footage though.

that's my 20th for y'all

peace

Shawn
the only problem with man is that he doesn't know how he ought to live

The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.

stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon


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