MESSAGE TO ALL THE GIRLS

yeh, kinda the same, girl as a friend, tell her i like her, then she goes crazy calls me a dick and everything...it's a tough life :P

Drew's right.
Oh and we've all been the nice ball-less guy and it hasn't worked, the sooner you man-up and carpe diem the sooner you'll make something of your life.

/Thread

stupid girls.....always messing things up

my threads. ill read it later.
but im a nice guy.

I think that the super alpha male types are extremely fake.  By all means, having confidence in yourself is key but having confidence and being egotistical are two completely different things.  If i go to a party or some sort of social situation and there are a bunch of loud ass, obnoxious, "look at me" type guys spouting off and drawing attention to their aura of awesomeness; chances are that there will be a few girls paying attention to them.  But i personally don't want to be like those guys because i know who i am and i don't need anyone else's recognition to know that I kick ass.  When I see a bunch loud, flashy, self-absorbed douche bags, all i can think is that they must be really self-conscious to feel that they need to announce god that they dress better, act cooler, and fuck way more than the rest of the world.

Whatev, to each his own. sorry for the rant.

But on the whole i think that guys, especially younger guys, get to caught up in the girls that they like.  Just be chill, don't let the girl know what you are thinking or feeling.  The biggest mistake that is made all to often is that you express your feelings too early in the game.

same and same

This is so true, im always that nice guy and girls always pass it off as me just being that nice guy, there for i get in the freind zone almost immediatly where as my asshole freinds are the ones getting the girls then a couple weeks after you here that girl complaning on how much of a dick the other guy was. A girl i know who i like always complains to me on how she'll never find a good guy she says how all guys want to do is mdo physical stuff then after they do that she's not so important anymore and im sitting here listening to all this shit , comforting her thinking i could be that guy for her but im just to pussy to tell her. I think im going to start being that asshole guy just because im sick of being freind-zoned all the fucking time.

Don't be the asshole guy be the nice guy who's man enough to tell her how you feel, sooner you she knows how you feel sooner she can dump that douchebag...

there can't be so many godamn nice guys....especially on NS.

you never know the member count keeps growing...and we're not all like dumont (i'm sorry that was a low blow :P)

it's true, women do like a man with some self confidence.  But I think girls forget that men like women with some confidence.  And the moderation of the confidence is of course important... to much and you seem like an ass or a bitch.

And I'm not sure what kind of lines i'm crossing hear, but i think girls like to complicate things too much and forget that men and relationships are really just simple things.  the more i get complicated with my boyfriend, the more we fight.  when i just let things go as being as they really are and not how i blew up to think they possibly could have been in my mind of what i was thinking he was thinking of thinking... you see!  so ladies, please, stop trying to say men are from mars and women are from venus and that we're going to need men to adapt to us.  Let them be them and let us stop trying to change them.

A man who is who he is (a man... who is confident being this) will always be the hottest man on the slopes.

Word. You can notice it yourself, just changing up your attitude on a night-to-night basis. If I'm blazed and/or tired as all fuck I get kinda paranoid and think through shit before I say it "just in case" someone thinks it's stupid, and I notice people (but especially girls) are much less responsive and interested in talking to me. When I say pretty much whatever is on my mind and am completely myself, even if it is kinda stupid or dick sometimes, it's like being on another planet. Whole different ball game, and girls notice it a LOT. Again, doesn't mean you have to be a dick, just means you have to be yourself. You come into your own a lot in college, if you're not getting a lot of play in HS just wait... you'll figure your shit out and become comfortable being yourself pretty quickly.

just be a "Yes Man" and say yes to every oppurtunity or girl that passes you by and eventually you will find a nice one   =)

bump, i feel this applies to me today.

that was an extremely well written article. props.

i'm a nice guy and it sucks.

drew is totally right, currently i have this girl that i really like and she has a duche bag boyfriend, he is a tool and a dick. he is holding her back. i listened to her sob stories for sometime and chilled with her when ever she needed it, i would leave my friend to chill with her. about 2 weeks ago i told her i cant do that anymore, i actually said im not going to be your little puppy, so now she is constantly calling me to hang out and i do, only when im not with other people or dont feel like it. I can tell its driving her insane, she is txting me and just got into how her bf cheated on her and i told her that i was sorry that happened but i really dont wanna hear the story because i told her this would happen but she didnt listen to me. now she wants me to go over to her place and i dont know if i should

fuck. being nice sucks

tl:dr

but im tempted too

can someone PLEASE copy and paste the article into the thread.. i'm at school and it won't let me on craigslist.. I WANNA READ

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy START CLTAGS

my threads 4 l8tr

Article I found in the onion. It's called "But if we were dating it would ruin our friendship were I ask you to do things and you do them"

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Best friends. Friends forever.

I've heard that a million times before. I've met nice girls but they go with the assholes and monkeys

I, for one, welcome the cock in my mouth.

STORY TIME STORY TIME STORY TIME STORY TIME STORY TIME STORY TIME STORY TIME

I got really drunk the night I bumped this because it was still in my threads. I sent it to a girl ive always liked after she had a rough night while visiting me. Well i didnt realize the intent of the craigslist link, and she took it as a personal attack. Now she wont talk to me even though my intentions were good.