i swear this is true- read the whole thing, its worth it.
so its may last school year and there was about 2 weeks left of school. A few buddies and i decided to go smoke a bowl (it actually ended up being like 4) before our first class. so we go down the trail by our school and smoke, then we go to class. I dont think i've ever laughed so much in my life. It was a friday, and our teacher was just putting word scrambles on the board for fun. idk, i thought one of them looked like "tonichiwa" so i yelled that out and sounded retarded but thats okay cause i was pretty high. Anyways. I made it through 3 mores hours of classes just fine. Then lunch rolled around. As i bounced against the vending machine case, my principle, mr. glocke walks up to me and said to come to his office. so i followed him there, still quite high, and sat down. Heres our convo:
Mr. Glockle: "Matt, one of your teachers said you didnt seem like yourself today."
Me: "I'm Matt."
Mr. Glockle: "they said that you look like your high."
Me: "Mr. Glockle, you know i dont use drugs, so theres no way I could be high now is there?"
Mr. Glockle: "well you look high."
this is where i made my mistake (besides the fact that i got blazed in school)
"Mr. Glockle, if you think im high, drug test me."
So, seeing through my attempted bluff, he brought me to the nurses office, where she took some info. I had the blood pressure and the heartrate of someone who had just been sprinting. When asked about this, i told her "I drank like alot of red bulls this morning".
Well neither Glockle or the nurse could prove I was high so i was sent to my next class. About a half hour later, Glockle came to get me again. He brought me out into the hallway and told me that my mom was picking me up at 3:30 and sent me back to class. At 3:15 i called my mom and asked why she was picking me up and she told me "you told glockle to drug test you so im bring you to the hospital to get you drug tested".
hearing that sucked ass. with the 15 minutes i had til 3:15, i needed to find some clean piss. I asked like 20 people, including my locker parter (fuck you marky) to piss in a bottle for me. FINALLY, i got my friend gabe to do the dirty business. When he was done, i poured gabes piss into a zip-loc bag, which i stuffed into my sock.
My mom picked me up, brought me to the hospital, and i went into the bathroom to piss in a cup. i ran the bag of piss under warm water and poured it into the cup.
The next day, the hospital called with my test results. My mom was so proud of me for "not being high". =D
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