when you begin eating coffee grounds out of the can because you have to sober up quick and drive home.
when you climb a tree and proceed to tell friends you've converted to squirrel and are looking for a mate... then yell at every girl who walks under the tree that they should climb up and make squirrel love with you.
when the last thing you remember is hitting the double beer bong by yourself cause everyone else was "a fuckin pussy" wake up in a parked boat covered in magic marker penises.
when you honestly believe eating fire is easy... fire is attached to a log.
you wake up and ask your friends how you got home and they remind you of how you cussed them for trying to drive drunk and proceeded to drive them home.
when you pass out naked mid-snowangel.
when you fall on the floor and can't get up, everything that comes out of your mouth is jibberish, and the only thing you can really do is flip off everyone that steps over you.
upon arriving at the 7th bar order two shots of the cheapest tequila they have. drink one then smash the other on the brick wall and yell at the bar for "not fucking paying attention" then pass out in a booth. wake up and sprint for bathroom ten minutes later. pass out again.
when you get black out drunk the night before high school graduation then climb on top of your school and break skylights out of the gym. then get arrested, thrown in jail, and miss your graduation.
pass out on ground while camping. someone yells cops and you get up and stumble in the woods. cops find you with night vision and drag you back handcuffed within a minute. celebrate high score on breathalyser, tell the cops you won't sit cause you won't be able to stand up again. get put in the K9 unit and yell at the dog for barking then pass out on the ground again after you've been cited.
when gravity wins...
