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How should I break my laptop?
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The title is a little misleading... I'm not looking for some some little kids thinking up ridiculous methods of destroying my laptop. Here's my situation.
We all know that Dell makes shitty overpriced computers. Well when I graduated highschool 3 years ago, despite my wishes to not get me a dell laptop, my grandparents did anyways (I love them to death, they just don't know anything when it comes to computers). Well anyways, my shitty laptop is starting to really show how shitty it is. The wireless card isn't working right, the fan is making noises about to explode, the CD/DVD burner isn't burning properly, and it's reading discs like a CD player from 1989.
I just found out today that my grandma got one of those 4-year "anything happens to it" college warranties, at the time she bought it. I'm planning on buying an external hard drive for it anyways, so i'll take off all my data. What I'm asking is how can I totally this thing without making it look completely intentional. I don't want them to refurbish it. I want it to be totaled so they just give me a completely new laptop. I was thinking about water damage.
Give me your ideas and also a good cover story for the "accident".
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Open it up and find some way to short it to ground. A paper clip will work.
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throw it off your deck, then claim it jumped
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your first move should be to look into the details of the warranty
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No, break now, ask questions later.
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good way to void warranty..check the fine print.
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yeah def look into details before
cus it will suck balls if they wont replace it.
most companies will find every and any way to avoid replacing their products.
this is actually a good idea, cus i think i have warranty too aha
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That's only if you're stupid and you break something they notice :P Laptops are not the easiest thing to open up but they can be and i've had mine in multiple times since and they've never noticed.
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your keyboard could get "accidentally" filled with semen, i hear that fucks things up quite a bit
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Yeah my father and I checked it over tonight actually. It covers any and all damage, even accidental for 4 years from the time of purchase. Basically they'll fix it or replace it, as long as the majority of the laptop is present. It doesn't cover it, if it is stolen, or parts are stolen. And the damage can't be completely obvious that it wasn't an accident (explosives aren't an option).
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Agreed, gotta know what you are doing though.
Don't break something replaceable i.e power supply.
Gotta short the motherboard somehow without them knowing you have taken a magnet to it. I'm sure they have ways of knowing if it was intentional???
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I'm not going to open it up and short it out. Basically what I'm asking is:
Water damage vs. Impact damage
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Impact damage is more 'likely'
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runit over with a a big truck. maybe an f-550. or just dunk it in the tub.
the truck would be sweeter though.
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Definitely check into the warranty first but putting it in the microwave would probably work. Dont have experience from this but just a guess.
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now i had an IBM, not a dell so the warranty coverage is different, but i spilled apple juice on it, and they gave me a new laptop completely
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put it in the microwave....i know a kid who always got a full warrantee on his phone and whenever something small goes wrong on it, he tosses it on there and it gets fried.
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Hahahaha, this thread is awesome. "Uh... I'm a really, REALLY premature ejaculator and I was walking through my room when a really hot girl walked uh... past my.. past my house? And I saw her through my window. Yeah. And I instantly popped a boner and right then my dog knocked my laptop on the floor and uh... it opened when it hit the ground, and er.. I tripped because I'm also clumsy in addition to being terrible at sex and I ejaculated on my way down and it went inside my laptop". Go with that.
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i am thinking that impact damage is more likely to break just one or two components, while water damage is more likely to destroy all of the electrical shit. or you could just do a combination. you were running to class because it started to down pour when you accidentally dropped your laptop in a huge puddle.
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no joke, put it in the shower, dry it out, claim to have no idea why its not working
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If water damage is covered just dump some beer on it while it's on and say you knocked it over by accident. People do stupid shit like that constantly.
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be carful. some laptops and cell phones have a little white dot in the battery pack or somewhere else that turns red when it is exposed to water. you could always remove it and just say it was never there. Try wrapping in up in a space blanket and leave it running, maybe have a UV lamp pointed at the laptop. That should fry everything.
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best one yet. except for drop it off balcony and say it jumped. haha.
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Actually a really solid idea.
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push it off your desk then get this thread deleted
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run it over with the carrrr!!!! then say you set it on the top of your car and forgot about it and drove off...
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haha those things are so dumb. just throw your shit in the water and bleach the little dot.
anyways i would say that you need to go with spilling a drink ALL over it. impact would probably only fuck up a few things (i'm not talking dropping it from a 300 ft. cliff, you said it needs to look accidental) so it might get refurbished. which you don't want. dump water or something better like juice or something (not beer, that's a waste haha) and that should fuck it up real good.
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I think thats probably what I'm going to end up doing. I'm going to pick some kind of sweet/sticky drink, and spill it on the open unit. I'd have a hard time believing they would disassemble a 3 year old computer. Screw around with the parts, see what works and doesn't work. Clean all of the crap out of it. Then replace all the parts and ship it back to me.
The computer isn't even all that high-end. It only 2.8 Pentium 4, 1 gig ram, 80 gig hard drive, average graphics card, and sound card. They would have to pay some nerd $30 an hour for all the labor, plus all of the parts. When they could easily go grab a comparable, lower end current model off the shelf and send it to me at a lot less effort from them.
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spill spill spill spilll something on it
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definitely pour soda all over it
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pour sand all over it and claim that you took it to the beach
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Stick something into where u charge it.
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Sounds like someone has experience in this department... ZING!
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haha stick something into it :P
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I was just in the same situation and my dell laptop wouldent run for more than 10 min without overheating and turrning off...they replaced the motherboard 3 times and when the last guy came to fix it he only messed it up more....I to had the 4 year plan on the laptop and I bitched on the phone abou how the laptop was a bad and they sentme a new xps M1530 3 days later..they never even asked me to send the laptop back....I saw just keep calling (i knot ita a pain in the ass) and keep bitching about a bunch of problems and they will give you a new one ( this is what the service tech told me to do...good luck
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Go down a hill on your long board. Put your lap top in your in back pack. Take off your back pack and throw it on the ground as you're moving. Tell dell that you fell longboarding to class with it in your back pack. Solved.
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simple. download oodles or porn.
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DO NOT do water damage unless you have somehow figured out something very clever (i read something about a red dot indicator). i actually retartedly left my laptop (the one i'm using now) in the rain one time unintentionally shortly after receiving it for my birthday. in this case, i had applecare which normally covers a lot of ground, however, the repair couldn't be done because they could tell there was water damage (i even dried it out and stuff beforehand). so my agreement was voided, and now the only problem i have to face is that my battery receiver (or whatever it is on my computer that receives power from my battery) won't work. i know this because i have tried other batteries. i have to have it plugged in and it's not "portable" so to speak. you will be stuck with a damaged laptop that won't be taken care of through a warranty if you decide on water damage as your method of destruction.
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ya thats with my phone. i was so lucky with it though.... dropped it in a hot tub totally ruined it but apparently there are two dots, one on the battery and one on the phone itself and only one turned red so my warranty covered it free of charge
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delete your virus protection and just download tons of stuff, magnatize a CD and put it and try to play it. say it was your friends cd and you were just borrowing it and you didn't know it would do that
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just bitch at them
a guy that my uncle works with constantly calls dell and complains about stuff
and theyve just gotten so fed up with him they normally just send him whatever he wants practicly for free.
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Pro Bull Riders? jk jk but yeah that's actually what the pro bull riders association is called, osrry i only know that because i go to rodeos and sometimes compete...
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tape the fan slits and make the laptop run something heavy for some hours :)
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