Twinjibber77's Official Story Telling Thread

Ah, no.

GIVE US A STORY LIKE THE OTHER THREAD! I LIKE SHOUTING WITH CAPS LOCK!

this is gonna be good

wha?

one time i farted on the set of blue lagoon.

For those of you who are lost here:
1
my friend was in a situation like that where girl #1 stole girl #2's hollister clothes from her locker an put them in a toliet, so girl #2 filled up condoms with sand an put them in girl #1's locker. When girl #1 opened her locker they popped and made all of her shit sandy, with a note that said "here, a locker that matches you vag!!!". So girl #1 is fed up with all this bullshit an thinks she really really really likes this guy. . . . .
so in front of our entire school 3rd period in this corridor she does it. . . . . . . . .
she spits loogies into a 3/4 full orange juice all morning an has tha rednecks spit their dip in it too, so she walks up to this girl infront of a majority of our school an throws all that shit right in her face, 3 second "ohhh bitch you did not" pause an they were off to tha races. . . . . . . face smashing (real girl fists, i didn't know it was physically possible for girls to make fists in fight mode but they did), hairs gettin pulled all out brawl, girl #2 reaches out an grabs girl # 1's lobe errings an a cartlidge one an rips them tha fuck out!!!!!!!!!! everyone is like holy fuck, a super man-bitch steps in to break it up who is best friends with girl #2, girl #2 accidently punches her in tha face an she runs away crying, so i'm watchin this all from tha back where i'm gettin an awesome view cause i'm 6'4", highlight!!!!- big sped teacher walks up next to me an says "he whats goin on??" (totally calm and watching), an i said "oh #1 an #2's names, are fighting" an he says "ohhhhh", i was like "are you gonna break that up????", an he goes "nope, my coffee is almost done", wasits for it to be over an walks away

so tha fight didn't end until #2 was on tha ground an a random teacher made them leave to tha office




2

OK so there are these two lesbians, we call "big bitch" and "shovel face"
shovel face has a facial deformity that made her look like tha crimson chin from that nickelodeon show, shes like fer real 90 pounds
an bigbitch is no lie 250, well she was in gym class two years ago an she only got bigger

so they are "in love" an it is super disgusting to watch them makeout everyday, makes your dick go up into your body, not hot at all

so they would always break up an fight to get attention
one day they do "fer good", so big bitch picks up shovel face by tha back of her hoodie an no lie ladies and gentlemen of NS picked her up an threw her entire body into a row of lockers, expecting death i'm stunned when she gets up to her feet an screams that big btich is a CUNT!!!!, (pardon my french, but schmuck er Bishop will understand for story telling purposes), they go at eachother again, big bitch ends up on tha ground and shovel face gets her into a headlock which she can't move in an starts railin at her face an its gettin super fucked up, so my fav math teacher runs up an says stop!!!!!, an they both scream "FUCK YOU BITCH" at tha exact smae moment, so everyone is now laughin super hard, this is right before my lunch but worth giving up my spot that i'm gonna eventually budge anyway, but back on track shovel face gets pulled off by a man teacher an takin to tha office while screamin "fuck you, you whore!!!!", an its get better, big bitch starts screamin bloddy murder like tanner fuckin hall kids, "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS", "AHHHHHHHHHH", so she basically tells tha nurse that she is totally paralyzed from tha waist down, so all these rednecks pick her up into a wheel chair an she goes to tha nurse, i go to lunch, when i come out SHE IS WALKING!!!!! into tha office


so this was on a tuesday, an they get 3 days OSS, so on friday they come back an they are making out in our main foyer. . . . . . . . . . . . .so fucked up, but its moments like this that give highschool entertainment no matter how disgusting or painful. . . . . . man, i'm really gonna miss this shit after next year

3

Ailright so fight-
kid 1 is a super super white an pencilly kid that has more fubu jerseys than brain cells, he talks shit to tha entire world everyday, one day he does to kid 2 that i play football with, kid 2 is pretty cocky an can't take shit from anyone to "maintain his school dominance threw varsity wrestling" status, so shit gets talked an kid 2 starts punchin tha shit out of kid 1 an kid 1 tries to defend himself but is super uncordinated an just keeps talkin shit while takin face shots, so kid 2 flips him on his back super hard, shit talk continues, kid 2 moves tha kid around into a spread eagle, kid 1 still talkin shit, keeps puttin pressure, more shit talk, then finally, kid 1 starts crying. . . . . . . .WHILE!!!!!!!! still screaming things like you're such a pussy, i'd cap yo ass if i had my gat foo, fuck yo mutha muckin moms son, BEEOOTCHHHHHHH
an kid number 2 is white as hell
he lost
fight #2 because it was a beautiful thing, its an added bonus-
kid name joey has a speech impediment an says his name like snowy instead of joey, he like kid 1 talks mad shit an is semi mentally handicapped
he is on my schools "muffin crew", which is what we call tha developmentaly disabled kids that sell tha teachers coffee and muffins from carts at there rooms
so this kid talks shit to this super cocky douche that can bench bout 210, but this is in 8th grade kids, many years ago
so snowy is all talkin shit with his speech impediment an this kid punches him in that face an he stands there so this kid is rapid fire punching an destroying snowies face, an this kid just stands there an takes every single blow, his face is swollen an bleeding an he just stands ther gettin blow back but steppin up, this is for a full thirty seconds an i couldn't take it, i mean tha kids semi retarded so i stepped in an it stopped an tha douche went an sat down cause his arms were so tired, by tha way tha jacked kid was like 5'4". . . . .an he still is, snowy went to jail for gettin a girl in his trailer park pregnant

SEX STORY-
kid i met at boys state told me this so it may be BS but i believe it
dude wants to try anal with his girl, she tells him when to come over an says she would, so he comes over an shes naked on tha couch so they do it, they do anal for a pretty long time an he pulls out an shit shits all over her brand new carpet, so they try an clean it up an go inot the kitchen to talk like nothing happened, dad gets home, is really chill an then finds it an is like WTF IS THIS!!!
an they say oh tha dog did it an we tried to clean it off, so tha dad puts tha dog outside, goes an gets a gun, walks outside an shoots tha dog!!!!

i was originally laughing an cryin sooooo hard but didn't believe, but my firend told his mom who's a doctor, an she said that its very possible because it relaxs your ass muscles when you take it there an you can't control your backdoor, therefore forcing you to shit everywhere!!!!




ENJOY

Thanks Pippin. I should have put those in here originally so people had some idea of what was going on.

first of all, twinjibber77 is a huge fag

second of all, i can vouch for his story about snowy, because snowy is a fucking idiot

-one time we were all standing around seshing this rail and a ramp on some bladez.....snowy rides his bike by and starts claiming all this shit about how he can boost higher than us and all that noise.....so, he hits the ramp full speed, turns his handlebars in the air, lands and eats complete shit....faceplant into the rail we had setup.....we thought he died....he layed there for a bit, stood up slowly, and said "fuck this shit, im going home" in his snowy voice which is kinda a mix between chewbacca and and a lisp

this thread seems to be a fail so far...

yurrr, huge fail.

Only Storyteller Motumbo can lay claim to such a title. Uh... Claim! Or some shit.

one might say..... an epic fail?

nah, this one's not epic. it has the potential to be, though.

ok so tha after bang. . . . . . . .AFTERSHIT
so everyone knows what afterbang is, some cat hits a jump an tha ride away is steezy as fuck

so this kid, middle schooler in ski club boosts a wicked huge jump, for his ability level, i think it was like a 40 er 45, nothin to huge, but epic for a middle school snowboarder, on tha ride away he is stunned he clears it an shits his pants ladies an gentlemen, no lie, shit himself

everyone knows an tha first time he got called out on it he cried on tha back of tha bus, i felt bad, cept i called it out

so anyway he is know our schools only kid that has perfected aftershit

ugh give me a few to get my facts straight on another story, gotta call someone to confirm some stuff,

Ohhhhhh
girl blows kid #1 at party, shortly following at same party kid #2 starts mackin on girl unaware of this at that point, after a while she gets pretty interested (being totally fogged), she then gets a lil frisky an they go to a room where they make out. . . . . .  . wow nasty, (fuck you twinjibber77 that happens all tha time, no big, sorta nasty but a waste of my time)

NO NO I SAY!!!!!








OK LET'S QUENTIN TARANTINO THIS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!








KID #1 AN KID #2 ARE BROTHERS


so kid #1 walked around school tha entire next week askin his bro kid #2 how his dick tasted!!!!!!

^thats pretty harsh

kindaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, not


anyway, ummmmmm
girl went skiing, , , , , , , , , , ,  , two guys, no snow

anyone get this??

most of our school finds out an someone brings it up in front of a ton of people an she flips out, then some girl chimes in, at least you weren't sleddin with two chick!!!!!!

Sparknote:chick jerks off two dudes( skiing, tweo poles), an some chick calls her out in front of everyone an says at least you didnt finger two chicks (sledding

fuck i'm goin to bed, i'll give some more tomorrow morning

hahahah keep going this is hilarious!!

buttsex dog murder is the best

real quick one to start tha morning off, this sctually happened to a friend, well actually my cousin lol
his sister has a girl over, who had kinda been checkin my cousin out, not a very hot girl but a very hefty girl, rather large. So before tha girls wanna go chill in my girl cousins room, at like 2am tha friend is cold so she goes to my cousins room to get socks that will fit her feet, FROM MY GUY COUSIN, anyway shit happens an she ends up blowing him, while this is goin on my cousin is like WTF!!!!! this is not supposed to hurt, but doesn't say anything, finally tha pain gets to be too much an he goes wtf, (make tha connection she has braces on) an says "Do you have your rubber bands in???), an goes "hahahaha YEAH!!!", an he uttered words that would haunt him for an entire summer an a bit more "WTF BITCH!!!!, TAKE THAT SHIT OUT"

your stories are getting worse and worse, actually. this thread may become an epic fail after all.

fuck you man, no love, just wait hoe. just wait
why don't people contribute, i can't go on forever, i have more, but not enough to keep tha greater part of NS satisfied

ok so i must resort to fights
. . . . . ok so this was christina vs. Megan
christina used to play football on vince lombardi for a reason, yeah sure she had DD's, real sweet, but she could also benchpress a car, big black an almost third string fullback
Megan was a cheer leader who was decent looking, an liked by only a few girls cause she talked shit to everyoneeeeeeeeee

we have a huge studyhall in our cafateria an then a bunch of small ones in other rooms, megan was rippin on christina from a table away an christina was pretendin like she didn't hear it, it got pretty loud in cafateria like every study hall, then megan did it, sealed her fight with one statement "if she wasn't such a dumd N*****". . . . . . . . tha entire cafateria fell silent an i really had no idea what was goin down, christina turned around, triceps an biceps as big as some dudes an said "what tha fuck di you just say hoe??"
an she said "N*****" an she said somethin like "do you wanna die" er som ethin like that but i didn't hear it, then they went at it, threw chairs, everyones cheering, christina is railin on this girls face, i thought megan would have cried by then, an megan reaches up an pulls this HUGE!!!!! chunk out of christinas weave, i mean like Luda's fro got ripped out this hoes head, as it continues our dean of students rushes is an tries to physically break up an gets clothes lined!!!, no lie, by a study hall monitor, an we are all like wtf an tha study hall monitor is like "its against code to physically break up an altercation" so they got in a screaming match, tha fight finally ended an megan got black eyes an christina lost some weave

when i get back from an eggmcmuffin run with tha hoes i'll tell ya tha science wing fight, it was my personal favorite my firend just remionded me an i feel wicked dumb that i forgot

If this doesn't improve quickly I may be responsible for creating a fail of very large stature. I'm starting to become slightly ashamed of myself.

dont talk shit kids, cause someone is gonna beat the crap out of u then

Science Wing fight or FAIL!!
ok so chick A an chick B are fighting for no reason, mad shit talkin
chick A is really quiet in public an talks mad internet shit, while chick B just talks shit to pretty much everyone, so chick B is screaming in Chick A's face an everyone is just standing around watching, chick A is standing there with this super blank face not saying anything back, an Chick B is tryin to hit her but keeps holdin herself back, while everyone is screamin JUST PUNCH HER!!!!!!
so a teacher pulls away screaming chick B, and rght then tha kids in tha hallway part like moses an tha sea, and our huge, like 5'10" 250 Bio teacher who's like 60 comes bookin down tha hallway an wrecks chick A that was just standing there doing nothing, it looked like Michael Strahan, it was so wrong yet so beautiful at tha same time, an your all thinking wow thats complete bullshit a teacher could never get away with that, truth is he has worked at our school forever, he was my aprents bio techer an he was retiring that year, he didn't give a shit, he passed everykid he had that year, i'd walk by him an be like hey how's your day an he'd look at me an shake his head an say "it's be alot better if your beautiful mother hadn't of given birth to such an ugly child, he also but tha loser sign up in his ID card photo, an called a redneck "a retarded fuck that's dumber than his box of euthanized spiders, nver got in trouble for any of it, if you didn't find this story remotley funny than. . . . . . . .

your first three were okay, but they were posted in a different thread. nobody has to contribute, this is your thread.

ouch, whatever will i do

had you at 10/10 now i have you at 3/10. that last story wasn't funny, and if you think it was, show me the humorous part and i'll give you back some karma.

how many times have you seen a two hundred an seventy five pound man sprint a hallway an wreck a hundred an five pound girL???

was it ted rynders?

ahahaha i found them halarious. where do you live?

twice.

i think these stories are good, mostly because one dude has witnessed all this shit in a short life, pretty crazy, props, keep em comin

The stories are pretty funny, but also far fetched.
I'll believe them though, untill they're proved false.

OK so there are these two lesbians, we call "big bitch" and "shovel face"


Haha best part for sure...


How old ARE you?

Im 17, live in western NY, Faust. knows a mojority of these stories cause he graduated from my highschool

an yes, it was ted rynders, an i swear everyone is true, except tha shit on carpet an dog shot one, cause i heard it from a friend but he said it was from a good friend an he's pretty believeable


i do have another that i heard from a snowboarder from Sweet Home HighSchool in Buffalo NY
apparently they had this big, black, nasty runningback that was super good, goin D1 an was like a three year all-star, he had a ton of hoes i guess an tha day of there homecoming day he wanted some ass in tha middle of class, so he txted a chick an said meet me by my locker, so they eventually find there way to tha teachers bathroom, kid has no rubber an doesn't wannna knock her up so he looks over to see one of those mini bathroom trash cans that you can put a grocerybag it, puts it on his dick an goes to town, as they reach an epic climax, a teacher bursts in to take a piss an catchs them. . . . . . . . . . .  . he got to play that night, she got suspended, but she wasn't pregnant so everyone was happy

i've got a story bout sex at my school that i'll tell tomorrow, not as hilarious as others but it really happened an was a roar at my school

dude, u would be the man at a dinner table

i try, i'll give more morrow, i;m beat from football, night

obviously not enough, because i don't find it funny. sorry i guess your style of humour just isn't on the same frequency as mine.

thats ok dude, but if you did see it, you would laugh, or else you'd just be a sad, sad person

these stories are pretty funny

ok so this story involves our schools token black chick (token black chick),  our schools only fat puerto rican kid (P-Rod), a fat chick (MooMoo), An a big dude named bob (bob)

so our school has a wierd schedule where there are 13 periods, 1-12 for school an 13 is just extra help, we have a normal school day from 8-2:25, but just shorter periods, so sometime around 4th Bob decides to go dip/chew/ tobacco whatever you call it, he's in there sittin on tha florr jsut spittin it everywhere on tha walls an stuff, an Moo Moo comes in an sits down next to him an starts talkin to him, sometime during this she confesses how much she like him blah blah blah, an these are both very large kids, so she's like bah take my V-card, so they do it, on tha nasty boys bathroom floor, an our ISS monitor catches them an they get sent home
13th period token black chick an P-rod, who are dating go to tha auditorium and do it on tha drama club's  couch on stage, tha bell rings after thrirteenth so p-rod rips tha condom off an throws it backstage, our bio lab teacher who is also tha drama club leader guy finds an picks it up with tweezers an puts it in a plastic bag an gives it to tha office, so everyone hears bout all thsi shit goin down, so token black chick gets called down to tha office and tha dean starts questioning her, an eventually token black chick says, "you can't prove that anything even happened in there", dean opens her drawer an pulls out tha platic bag an drops it on her desk an says "ohhhhh reallllyyyyyy"
token black chick cries, er body get suspended all 4, an it gets covered up like everything that happens at our school
so if any student is heard talkin about it they get two days of ISS, it obviously doesn't stop anyone