Professional bowler

-predrink hard
-go to a halloween party at a university campus bar
-party hard 'til they shut down
-go on an urban exploration mission around campus with an equally shmammered buddy for hours
-find doors to nowhere, strange unfinished hallways, tunnels between buildings, janitor rooms, empty gyms, huge commercial kitchens, rooms for obscure student clubs, etc.

-get seperated from buddy
-completely lost on a huge campus you don't go to
-cell phone's dead
-wander outside for an hour, so cold, find campus po
-ask him where to get a cab
-he radios one and says to wait here
-wait for an hour, no cab
-wander outside for an eternity to find someone or some other way home
-get hungry and get 2 bags of chips from a veding machine in some strange athletic building
-find a train station
-first train home at 5:45, not for a while
-call operator ask for a cab number - no can do
-call 411, get a cab number... this cab company tells me to call another company
-finally get the right number, ask for a cab, explain what train station i'm at, and lady tells me to wait on the university side of the station

-wait for an hour, no cab
-back to train station to find some guy in the same situation as me, he tells me it's 4:30
-i say i'm gong back to campus because you can get into warm buildings
-he follows
-try many doors and find one unlocked
-find some padded benches and i lay down in some lobby area near a big metal sculpture
-random guy goes somewhere else

-wake up to see people walking through lobby
-i ask for the time, it's 7:40
-i wak back to the train, get off at my stop, and walk about a mile from the station to my house
-it's 9am and my parents are up eating breakfast
-they laugh at me and ask if i had a good night
-i tell them i slept at my buddy's house who lives near the train station

-before i go to bed i realize i have lost my cellphone
-i have the keys to the "snowboard club"
-i have a stainless steel whisk in my belt
-my pockets are full of strange packets of cleaning powder (ajax)
-i have a nice cordless laptop mouse with the USB end that snaps into the bottom. (i'm using it now)

this happened while i was dressed up as a "professional bowler" with a trash stache, greased down hair, avaiator reading glasses, a wrist guard, a bowling pin 'bling' necklace, a rediculous bowling shirt, too short plaid pants, and rental bowling shoes that are 3 sizes too small with the toes cut iopen so my feet could hang out the end.  My feet hurt.