Here are my three favorite:
Lady - What are you doing?
Frank - You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you! I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll return him tonight, honey.
Frank - I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about.
Frank - I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
Student - A big day? Doing what?
Frank - Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.