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JalmarKalmar
April, 2024

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Alright so my buddies think they can give anyone a boner:

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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
this happened a while ago, i just though about it know though. so i was in the woods drinking some beer with my buddies, theyre older for the record. and they were saying how they gave our friend dave a boner from rubbing his dick because he said he could control it, turns out he couldnt lol. anyways i was dying as theyre telling me. next thing i know im being held and like massaged hahaha. i never got a boner just a sore dick. then our black friend jon said they couldnt give him one. and he basically got a half chub but no more. hahahaha anyways this story has no point.
Jul 9 2007 6:18PM
23 3
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Mat.
Posts: 7167 - Karma: 94
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jul 10 2007 12:42AM
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.jon
Posts: 2121 - Karma: 345
i really dont know what to say
...interesting story though
Jul 10 2007 12:50AM
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mothaeast
Posts: 2923 - Karma: 13
i still dont believe this though
Jul 10 2007 12:53AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
You shouldn't, cause it's not true.
Jul 10 2007 12:55AM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,612
yeaaah it is, stop defending the weird kid
Jul 10 2007 12:56AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
I'm not defending. I was worried...call me lame, but that would be hazing. And hazing is not cool.
Jul 10 2007 12:56AM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,612
ha your mothering skillz are coming through yo
Jul 10 2007 12:57AM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88

why don't you just come out and say that your father put various house hold items into your anus as a child, that would be a little straighter.

Jul 10 2007 12:58AM
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dweezileast
Posts: 9661 - Karma: 276
I just want to talk to chad
Jul 10 2007 1:01AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
I can't help it. They just surface.
Jul 10 2007 1:01AM
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troutbum
Posts: 825 - Karma: 11
speaking of Chad, anybody know how you get to Chad's from the bottom of Alta?
Jul 10 2007 1:02AM
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BULLSEMEN
Posts: 1289 - Karma: 16
YOU CANT JUST GO TO FUCKING CHADS GAP

Jul 10 2007 1:04AM
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troutbum
Posts: 825 - Karma: 11
holy spaz attack.
Jul 10 2007 1:05AM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
shutup kohl
Jul 10 2007 1:06AM
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PeteyG
Posts: 2946 - Karma: 49
do your parents know youre gay?
Jul 10 2007 1:14AM
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StevenSegal
Posts: 1716 - Karma: 16
nice
Jul 10 2007 1:15AM
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Nihiriju
Posts: 2061 - Karma: 27
totally, you were bro raped dude. 
Jul 10 2007 1:30AM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
so a dude have you a hand job????!?!?! HOMO!!!!!
Jul 10 2007 1:34AM
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keystoner1
Posts: 2143 - Karma: 11
NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT
Jul 10 2007 1:37AM
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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
this is kinda topical:

http://www.42below.com/flashad/hero/
Jul 10 2007 1:41AM
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Wis_Skier_23
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 245
i bet you wish your friends were girls....but are you gay
Jul 10 2007 1:46AM
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grubix2
Posts: 2628 - Karma: 25
haha dude I can't believe you're the only one that thought of that. I couldn't even finishing reading this kids story without dying of laughter without picturing cartman saying "Hey guys! Look how gay Butters is!".

If you have no clue what we're talking about:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cartman_Sucks

Here's the episode:

http://www.southparkzone.com/episode.php?vid=1102

Jul 10 2007 1:50AM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
YEAH WTF MFM WILL KICK  YOUR ASS YOU'LL TOTALLY DIE AND CASE!!!!!!!! send me a video of you dying! NOOB YOU CANT JUST HIT CHADS
Jul 10 2007 1:51AM
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Swan_Solo
Posts: 2374 - Karma: 14
what went through your mind before you posted this?
Jul 10 2007 1:52AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
It's not true! Do I have to quote reply myself?
Jul 10 2007 1:56AM
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potato_man
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 89
you should talk to someone about this problem of yours
Jul 10 2007 2:22AM
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potato_man
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 89
oh yeah, and YOUR GAY!

what kind of a skier asks for a handjob from a guy? fag!
Jul 10 2007 2:25AM
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skier_dude_1831
Posts: 2064 - Karma: 19
nothing is thraight about u not even ur boner
Jul 10 2007 4:32AM
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skier_dude_1831
Posts: 2064 - Karma: 19
nothing is straight about u not even ur boner
Jul 10 2007 4:32AM
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EH_DUBS
Posts: 3080 - Karma: 969
what did you think people would say to this thread....youve got three pages of people telling you your gay haha
Jul 10 2007 4:38AM
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mtbakerteacher
Posts: 4185 - Karma: 20
was it awkward coming out to your parents?
Jul 10 2007 8:17AM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
i can just imagine the black kid feeling you up
Jul 10 2007 8:21AM
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steezyjibber
Posts: 15967 - Karma: 11,016
gayest story ever definetely not for ns
Jul 10 2007 8:36AM
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naftel
Posts: 830 - Karma: 12
fuck you're gay! (and so are your friends!)
Jul 10 2007 10:03AM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
if some dude held me down and stroked my cock i would prolly kick them in the face.
Jul 10 2007 10:33AM
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skodeo7
Posts: 14949 - Karma: 9,234
I think this post may be the greatest NS self'ing in history.
Jul 10 2007 10:42AM
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artfullydodged
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 1,674
no way guys the gayest story on ns is "my friend lost his virginity to a guy" sooo much gayer, but that was drunken rape
Jul 10 2007 10:44AM
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hennessy1
Posts: 81 - Karma: 12
i guesss u shouldnt speak to them
Jul 10 2007 12:10PM
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BvK
Posts: 868 - Karma: 11
yeah crookedboners older friend are gonna be trying to give other dudes boners by way of the blow job
That will be the gayest post evr
Jul 10 2007 12:50PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
lolz



http://www.neverhappened.org/photos/uncategorized/brokeback_mountain_1.jpg
Jul 10 2007 2:33PM
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shagalabagala
Posts: 2101 - Karma: 10
the only way this couldn't be gay is if you called "no homo" before doing this-- but you didn' so it's extrememly gay
Jul 10 2007 2:45PM
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Elijah.
Posts: 9322 - Karma: 76
Drinking beer with all guys, then rubbing each others dicks?
AND your name is crooked boner, no doubt about it, but your gay.
Jul 10 2007 3:51PM
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chickenwang
Posts: 5639 - Karma: 40
south park anyone?
Jul 10 2007 4:14PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
what is that one? the butt rape one?
Jul 10 2007 4:29PM
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Nihiriju
Posts: 2061 - Karma: 27
^ bro raped!
Jul 10 2007 4:34PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460

OH MY GOD! bhaahahahah!
dude, i dont even need to call you gay. you already know.

Jul 10 2007 4:39PM
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artfullydodged
Posts: 8358 - Karma: 1,674
https://newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/258495/
Jul 10 2007 5:36PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 372
can i b gay w/ u
Jul 10 2007 6:51PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
Silly homo! Dicks are for chicks!
Jul 10 2007 9:10PM
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statuswhitegirl
Posts: 4058 - Karma: 883
gay buttsex
Jul 10 2007 9:39PM
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