Funny pick up lines.

your hot, want to fuck(works every time)

too bad you cant get laid

If girls laughing and walking away is classified as 'working' then yes.

get on your knees and smile like a donut

Someone farted lets get out of here.

this ones gay but you asked for it:

wanna go out for some sex and pizza?

no

what you dont like pizza?

overused: does this rag smell like chloriform?

lame. doesn't work trust me mofo.

whats your favorite kind of tree?

Good news, the test results are negative

Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you

I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

heres two that have actually worked for me

"if i kiss you, will you shut up?"

"if you step on my shoes it'll be easier for you to kiss me" (to a short girl)

use that one it will work every time
and ya theres another one thats like three pages filled with them

is your name gillet because your the best a man can get
do you have a shovel in your pants cause im digin that ass

im back for these
does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
and
hey, are you gana walk to your car by yourself later? cause ill be over here watching you

i thought you left

works everytime, and in my ochem lab i always asked my lab partner if the chloriform smelt weird to him

stolen from caleb

Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!!
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
Hey , I'm the cable guy, my only policy is that if I hook your cable up, you have to hook mine up!
I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.
Baby... wanna come for a ride?
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
Save water, shower with a friend!
You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.
I think I'm in heaven because you look like an angel. Can you take off your shirt so that I can check for wings?
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Excuse me M'am, you dropped a piece of ass, let me get that for you. (then grab her ass)
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons.
Quick, somebody call the cops, you just stole my heart.
I love every bone in your body, especially mine!
Hey, is your name Gillette??? 'Cuz I think your the best a man can get.
If I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought.
If you'll be my DairyQueen, I'll be your BurgerKing...You treat me right, and you can have it your way!
What do you say we add my last name to your checking account?!
All I need is a little piece and quiet. So give me a piece and I'll be quiet!
I'm not feeling myself tonight, can I feel you?
Used when you have successfully tried to call a girl over by using the single finger 'come over here' gesture. 'Wow...I made you come with one finger... imagine what I could do with 2!'
My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Do you wash your clothes in windex? Cuz I can see myself in your pants!
If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd love to tap that ass!
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...


Congratulations! You've been voted 'Most Beautiful Girl In This Room' and the grand prize is a night with me!
Do you know what'd look good on you?? Me.
Here's a quarter...Call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight!
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast!
Picture this: you, me, bubble bath, and a bottle of champagne!
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off of you!
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
Look at the tag on her shirt and say: 'I wanted to see if you were really made in heaven.'
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your bedrock.
I can lick my eyebrows.
You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
can i have some money, so i can call god an thankz him for creating an angel like you
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
I s there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
Can I have directions? ['To where?'] To your heart.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
You must play the trumpet, because you sure make me horny!
Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'. 0 0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
Fuck me if I'm wrong but is your name pocahontas?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I have a watch that has an amazing function-it tells me if you are wearing any underwear or not, right now its saying your not.(yes I am)oh it must be an hour fast.
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

hi. I'm Emmett. Whats your name?
works.

and if that doesnt, just say
are you from heaven? because i have an enormous erection.

theres alreaDY been a thread like this but

u-how bout we go to my place for some pizza and sex
girl- eww no
u- whats wrong u dont like pizza

is that a keg in your pants cause i wanna tap that ass

you: Are your clothes off?
chick: No? why
you: oh my watch must be one hour ahead..

is there a keg in your pants cuz i wanna tap that ass.

guy:do you like pizza grease?
girl:what?
guy:nothing.

did heaven just lose an angel, cos you have great cans!

let me get you a drink - do you want gin and platonic or scotch and sofa?

my personal favorite

"meeeowwwwww"
works all the time 80% of the time

you- "wanna fuck again?"
her - "huh"
You " oh sorry im thinking three hours ahead my bad"

To girl: Can I sit here? or is your boyfriend coming back?
Girl: Oh I dont have a boyfriend
You: Oh, hi my names how are you doing

60% of the time, it works every time.

i just look at her and she pretty much throwes herself at me

when i was throwing out my garbage in lunch i said to the girl next to me " hey baby, you come here often" as we were standing next to the garbage bin. i though it was cute....

2 marslands???? im so confused

damnnnnn you catch on fast, for an ashland kid

i laughed at some of calebs

this ones on me (hand her a drink) mabe later i can get on you


this ones outa control bet its never works but who cares

you: ughhh i feel sick
her: oh whats wrong?
you: i fell like theres an elephant in my stomach
her: what?
you: and the trunks coming out already

So...uh...you like cool stuff?

or

Hey do you like to fuck?

no body cares that theirs already an old thread on it

do you..like..uh..stuff?
ralph from the simpsons style

got one:
"does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

iv seen these 2 in action and its fuckin hilarious,..
1. can I stick it in your ass
2. Whats your favorite chess peice
neither worked but 2 got a response

Excuse me, are you a squirrel, cuz i sure would like for you to find my nuts and put them in your hole.

i made this up the other day at lunch. greatest one ever...
"if this was a book, i'd be the rising action, cuz when im done, you're going to climax."

"That shirt would look great on my floor. Right next to the pile of panties I stole out of your dryer. They smell like you."

-stalker pickup lines from collegehumor.com

haha

can i have two nipples for a dime. i mean nickles.

if we flip a quarter what are the chances of me getting head?

i used the second one. it was soo funny cause the girl told the teacher that i'd passed her a note and the teacher was like "let me see!" so i grabbed it and ate it real quick like

oh and
"did you just fart? cause you blow me away"
and "is your dad a baker? cause you've got real nice buns

is yur ass a keg cuz i sure wanna tap it

quick! call the vet! (point to arms) cause these pythons are SICK!