I found this entertaining...
1. While your huntin' and fishin' gear may have Gore-tex in it, you will look like an idiot if you wear camoflage or blaze orange skiing.
2. Marlboro, NASCAR, or NFL football team jackets have pretty much the same effect.
3. Blue jeans and red bandanas went out in the 70's. Let's leave them out, OK?
4. Cowboy hats look rediculous on cowboys. Imagine how rediculous they look on you
5. World Cup Downhillers need aerodynamic skin suits to reduce drag. You don't need one to skid down the green runs.
6. Parents, You don't take fashion advice from your 15 year old snowboarder at home, so why would you dress like him on the mountain? Please make sure your pants fit because no one cares that you're wearing Tommy boxers.
7. Neon is dead and buried. I'm sorry you spent $1100 on that flourescent orange and green one-piece in 1986, I really am, but you shouldn't be wearing it now, should you? Let it go.
8. Yes, they make hats in adult sizes with faux moose antlers, dreadlocks, and viking horns but that doesn't mean adults should wear them.
9. That tassle made up of old lift tickets hanging off the zipper of your jacket isn't impressing anyone and just holds up the lift line while the checker shuffles through them to figure out which one to punch. Pull the old ones off please. If you're that insistent on letting the lift operator know you've skied Hyland Hills MN 4 times this season, then just tell him.
10. Just because it's warm enough to ski in a bikini doesn't mean you should. Bikinis are a privilege, not a right
* * * * * * * * * *
While I was ridding the lift at Copper Mtn:
Man: So where ya from?
Me: Montana
Man: Oh… so your from Canada?
Me: *Sigh* thinking to myself 'stupid Coloradian'
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