Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Million-dollar ideas

profile picture
ESB
Posts: 9273 - Karma: 10,647
Okay, so some of you may not want to share them, 'cause of course they're worth a million bucks! But I get these once a week or so and I thought it would be great to hear everyone else's.

Here's my latest one: okay, lots of people smoke, right? And many people who smoke also have other health problems, and their doctors tell them not to smoke anymore, but they still want to! So let's say John has diabetes, and his doctor says, 'no more smoking, john... you need to be in good physical shape to control your condition.' This is where... the DIABETES cigarette comes into play! You get a huge propaganda campaign going about how these are like, medicinal cigarettes, so it's like taking your medicine, except you get to smoke it, and feel good about it afterwards! Of course, it's probably chemically impossible and would be a huge sham... but you'd still make a million bucks.

Yeah... medicinal cigarettes.

KAMIKAZE: MAKING NS MORE CORRUPT ONE THREAD AT A TIME
*NSFD Station Chief*
May 7 2003 12:49AM
0 0
profile picture
NomenClature
Posts: 4348 - Karma: 83
robbing fort knox. and beating the shit out of michal jackson in exchange for the other billions of dollors that you have to get rid of.
--------------------------------------

Friend:oww shit my head!
me: what did you do?
friend: i fell down the stairs
Me: and you hit your head?
friend:No, my wrist

snoogins

Vancouver - good weed, hockey, and the Blunt Brother

Canada, better than the us
-an ashamed american
May 7 2003 12:51AM
0 0
profile picture
Hedekar
Posts: 1816 - Karma: 15
I am going to engineer a spiral escalator! Like a spiral staircase but it's an escalator. And don't even think of stealing my idea.





'Girls aren't allowed to fart, they are supposed to smell all nice, and be sexy' - Shane McConkey, creator of the PMS Open.
May 7 2003 12:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Bundo
Posts: 2197 - Karma: 49
ok i've got 1. you go and capture Sadaam yourself, then tie him to the Washington monument and have people pay 5-100 dollars(i'm not sure on the price yet) to kick him in the nuts, and for an added charge you could use something like a golf club. that would make you billions not millions.

Skeletor? You don't know who Skeletor is? Sheeeeiiittttt.....
proud member of NSSSOD
May 7 2003 12:56AM
0 0
profile picture
Papa
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 11
go to all the houses in the city and ask for a dollar, than you'll have a million of them
Seize the carp
May 7 2003 12:59AM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
My friend and I have come up with a few ideas on the way to and from the mountain. Our best idea yet is skis that leak paint out the backs. We even took into consideration that the resorts wouldn't want toxins ruining the area so they's have water-based and non-toxic paint in the cartridges. There could be all sorts of competitions for like snow painting which would be super cool. I'm guessing that mountains still wouldn't like it very much, so it has flaws, but it'd still be cool. We're going to make the skis sometime soon with an old pair of my straight skis.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 7 2003 1:01AM
0 0
profile picture
Froggy
Posts: 192 - Karma: 10
some chineese food contains msg
May 7 2003 1:08AM
0 0
profile picture
freezed
Posts: 12973 - Karma: 500
painting snow with skis, huh? i think theres already some wax that does that

:::Jeronimo:::

'Hey everybody! Lateralis drinks alcohol and smokes marijuana cigarettes! You're burned now, lateralis.' -Halo

Camp of Champions, Session B
May 7 2003 5:26PM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
yea, but there would be like cartridges that you could put in ur skis and special skis that can hold them. Plus you could have like diff colors coming out.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 7 2003 5:59PM
0 0
profile picture
freezed
Posts: 12973 - Karma: 500
yeah, that'd be pretty cool, but if a bunch of people had them, all the snow would be covered in paint, and how about the rides up the chairlift? would it just drip out?

:::Jeronimo:::

'Hey everybody! Lateralis drinks alcohol and smokes marijuana cigarettes! You're burned now, lateralis.' -Halo

Camp of Champions, Session B
May 7 2003 6:03PM
0 0
profile picture
QuazBotch
Posts: 3908 - Karma: 216
selling sex on the internet.

oh wait
May 7 2003 6:06PM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
there would be like a little ball thing that lets the paint out kinda like a pen, except more sensitive to touch. So as you ski down the ball gets pushed, letting paint out. Then when you're on the chairlift, the ball goes back to cover the hole.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 7 2003 6:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
best idea for all those kids that break their dynastar edges is for dynastar to make titanium edges. they wouldnt break and they would be flexible. sure the titanim would be expensive but if they sold them for about 600 then it would be goood. morre people would buy them because they wont break

east coast rider

dynastar love it but dont hate it
May 7 2003 6:31PM
0 0
profile picture
Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
what do you people that ride on dynastar skis think?

east coast rider

dynastar love it but dont hate it
May 7 2003 6:33PM
0 0
profile picture
QuazBotch
Posts: 3908 - Karma: 216
I don't think titanium is very strong, it just has a very high melting point which makes it speshul.

but I'm sure there are better edge materials out there.
May 7 2003 6:33PM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
I haven't broken my dynas, only scratched them.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 7 2003 6:35PM
0 0
profile picture
cams
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 26
yes man we need titanium edges to make sparks and shit.. it would be dope


Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.

'What time is it?.. Saturday?
May 7 2003 6:40PM
0 0
profile picture
Ski_Instructor_Mike
Posts: 6146 - Karma: 72
hard edges aren't necesarily better. a thin piece of titanium probably won't dent but because it doesn't absorb the imparct by denting, the edges will be more likely to crack and the a thin piece of titanium will crack.
-Mike

Dude I was fine before you tried to turn me into a cake - me after ralphing after being antiqued
May 7 2003 6:40PM
0 0
profile picture
Whistlermann
Posts: 4048 - Karma: 12
About the Dynastars... your both wrong... first of all, Titanium is very strong, and light, but the problem is it would be too stong to use in a ski, because it would flex all wierd and shit... also they are stronger so sharpening would be a bitch... the base would grind down wayyy faster than the edges, a much smarter and cheaper idea is to make thicker edges, like the public enemy.
Sorry to burst your bubble.

~Founding Member of the NS Anti Post Whore Commitee~
May 7 2003 6:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Whistlermann
Posts: 4048 - Karma: 12
I had the idea to make pull downable window sunshades like 7-8 years ago... but i was 10 and i didn't try to patent it.

~Founding Member of the NS Anti Post Whore Commitee~
May 7 2003 6:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
ok then you wouldnt ever have to sharpen them. i would love a ski where the edges didnt bread every month

east coast rider

dynastar love it but dont hate it
May 7 2003 6:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
*break

east coast rider

dynastar love it but dont hate it
May 7 2003 6:53PM
0 0
profile picture
RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
The best million dollar idea i had so far:

Sparking Lube.
=========================
^Rowen^

Why?

'You're watching the Family Learning Channel. And now, angry ticks will fire out from my nipples.'
- Excerpt from Rejected, a movie by Don Hertzfeldt
May 7 2003 6:59PM
0 0
profile picture
J-Ho
Posts: 360 - Karma: 10
.yeh Bundo I've had the same exact idea before

dodgeball and nuts = a few guys on the floor crying and many laughing

skiing or sex... good question????
May 7 2003 8:11PM
0 0
profile picture
EastCoastPride
Posts: 11654 - Karma: 4,989
I'm with Bristolrider on this one, haha, I've blown out some serious Dynastar edges.

-Teddy
May 7 2003 8:12PM
0 0
profile picture
1212j5j5
Posts: 4495 - Karma: 14
my 2- actual affordable food at the mountain. and 2- re usable condoms.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Official Co-leader of the Communist party of Newschoolers
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D
If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.
Im Scared
When your going big mountain, off da cliffs, you gotta briing your first aid, your shovel, your water, your food, your helmet, your radio, all your safety gear, cuz diing aint livin man
Doug- FUck, that kid had no style, he wasnt even as high as my left testicle.

May 7 2003 8:25PM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
ew, why would u re-use them? ive seen the way they get..all nasty looking. plus if you used flavoured condoms, all the flavour would be gone.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Member of the OTC!

Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 7 2003 8:27PM
0 0
profile picture
EastCoastPride
Posts: 11654 - Karma: 4,989
Yeah, that's just disgusting.

-Teddy
May 7 2003 8:27PM
0 0
profile picture
1212j5j5
Posts: 4495 - Karma: 14
ha ha... no... it isnt.... i have created one, and it works. it has had 4 tests..... it can witstand a small explosion from 3 feet away, it is the invinci condom.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Official Co-leader of the Communist party of Newschoolers
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D
If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.
Im Scared
When your going big mountain, off da cliffs, you gotta briing your first aid, your shovel, your water, your food, your helmet, your radio, all your safety gear, cuz diing aint livin man
Doug- FUck, that kid had no style, he wasnt even as high as my left testicle.

May 7 2003 9:12PM
0 0
profile picture
bigskia
Posts: 3463 - Karma: 35
not sure what movie this is in...but. you buy a page ad in all the big porno mags(playboy, penthouse...) advertising a new type of dildo...get some quotes and only charge 10 bucks...then you open an account...cash the cheques when they come and don't send them anything....write them a letter w/ a refund but make sure it says dildo and porn all over the check...majority of people won't want to be embarrased to get the 10 bucks back...

2. snowboard bindings that swivel so your foot faces forward on cat tracks


You don't know shit about fuck, my man-Robin Williams
See all y'all at Session 3 of High North
May 7 2003 9:18PM
0 0
profile picture
plainsskia
Posts: 19 - Karma: 10
ok i got one... have you ever been eating your damn mexican food and the shit falls out of your burrito?
a solution... TACO TAPE, edible tape that tastes like salsa

whip some of that shit on your burrito and your good to go
___________________________________


Skiers Gone Wild! Wooooooo !
May 7 2003 9:18PM
0 0
profile picture
1212j5j5
Posts: 4495 - Karma: 14
or duct tape.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Official Co-leader of the Communist party of Newschoolers
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D
If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.
Im Scared
When your going big mountain, off da cliffs, you gotta briing your first aid, your shovel, your water, your food, your helmet, your radio, all your safety gear, cuz diing aint livin man
Doug- FUck, that kid had no style, he wasnt even as high as my left testicle.

May 7 2003 9:22PM
0 0
profile picture
strode
Posts: 7549 - Karma: 14
^bigskia my snowboarder friends also came up with that idea in the lift line this year





Abba Zabba, you my only friend
May 7 2003 9:26PM
0 0
profile picture
CTripper
Posts: 6520 - Karma: 20
my brother thought of a video store that delivers movies
''hey look, his skis are on backwards! You're one of those crazy tricksters, i can tell''- old man in the lift line
May 7 2003 9:31PM
0 0
profile picture
Whistlermann
Posts: 4048 - Karma: 12
The Movie is 'Lock Stock and two Smoking Barrels'

Great Movie, and Great Plan.

~Founding Member of the NS Anti Post Whore Commitee~
May 7 2003 10:55PM
0 0
profile picture
ESB
Posts: 9273 - Karma: 10,647
On that snowboard note... I always thought it would be cool if a snowboarder wanted to poach Alta or something, he's cut his board in half and attach the bindings so they're like skis... ride up the lift that way, then once you're at the top take off the bindings, put the two halfs together with some kind of fastener, put the bindings back on and ride like hell. Okay, so not really plausible... but it would be cool.

KAMIKAZE: MAKING NS MORE CORRUPT ONE THREAD AT A TIME
*NSFD Station Chief*
May 7 2003 11:29PM
0 0
profile picture
joeengel
Posts: 1089 - Karma: 10
a kleenex with a target in teh middle .. how awsome would that be .. itd make sick alot more fun
$$ ICED OUT RACING $$



- I wish i was known for my ability to bounce like a fuzzy tennis ball
May 8 2003 12:07AM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
hahaha! Like you could try and make a bullseye with ur boogers and stuff!!!

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Member of the OTC!

Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 8 2003 12:08AM
0 0
profile picture
jholer2
Posts: 576 - Karma: 11
i think pressure sensitive break lights would be a good idea. then you would know if you had to slam on the breaks if you behind someone.



'Oh my god. it happened again! i got better looking' Boyd
May 8 2003 12:21AM
0 0
profile picture
Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
dynastar needs a ski that is way beyond a ll others. titanium edges will be the next generation of skis

east coast rider

dynastar love it but dont hate it
May 8 2003 10:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Bob_Loblaw
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 38
a jump to conclusions mat




Listen to Bob Marley

Your toothpaste is in my peanut butter! - Spongebob
May 8 2003 3:44PM
0 0
profile picture
EastCoastPride
Posts: 11654 - Karma: 4,989
*cough* Office Space! *cough*

-Teddy
May 8 2003 6:15PM
0 0
profile picture
linemaverick540
Posts: 4017 - Karma: 8
panty hos with a built in condom or skis with fire coming out the back, its on snow so no hazzard there
trust me, the '' things aren't actually there

May 8 2003 6:58PM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
too bad it'd melt the snow and get everybody pissed off. And yea, it would be a hazard if somebody tried to pass to or if you were stopping, cause ski pants are extremely flammable, and I'm guessing that most skis would melt with the fire anyways...it'd do wonders for your wax... Think b4 u speak.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Member of the OTC!

Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 8 2003 7:00PM
0 0
profile picture
linefreerider
Posts: 533 - Karma: 12
^jesus christ..u jus made a lot of points...haha
and sum1 sed sumthin abvout flavored condoms..i dont see a point in them..y would u get your dick sucked with a condom on? if there is another reason for them..please explain..


-john

May 8 2003 7:08PM
0 0
profile picture
lanks
Posts: 12543 - Karma: 72
how about a ski weighted in the front or back, so you could pull off flawless nose/tail presses, or maybe attachable ski weights instead. i dunno, it would be pretty cool to use on occasion

proud owner of 'team ramrod', the best NS hockey pool team ever.
May 8 2003 7:22PM
0 0
profile picture
SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
they have something like that, but i don't remember what they're called.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Member of the OTC!

Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
May 8 2003 7:24PM
0 0
profile picture
lanks
Posts: 12543 - Karma: 72
really? anyone know about this?

proud owner of 'team ramrod', the best NS hockey pool team ever.
May 8 2003 8:12PM
0 0
profile picture
sidekick_rep
Posts: 337 - Karma: 10
a jump to conclusions mat, ya see thered be these different conclusions on the mat that you could 'jump to'


'isnt it hard to ski backwards? dont you hit stuff?'
May 8 2003 10:54PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)