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How To NEXT
or...
What To Do When You Want To Get Rid Of One-Itis Or An IP And You Don't Know What Else To Do
by themuz, intellectual giant, and all around genius when it comes to women.
Ok, I am not going to preach that every girl should be NEXTed when you get one-itis. I am not going to say you should NEXT every girl who uses you. I will leave the decisions on when to NEXT a girl up to you, or those giving you advice. But, let's go over what it takes to NEXT a girl properly, as well as the logic behind a good NEXTing.
A NEXT, in its most basic form, is a way of getting over a girl. It is used so that you can get out of a bad situation when all other methods fail. If you NEXT a girl, you are not doing it to make both sides come to terms, or show her what she did wrong, or perhaps bring her around to you. You are not NEXTing her so you can strategically come into her life at a more opportune time. When you NEXT a girl, you are going to permanently (or as permanently as possible) remove yourself from her life. It is recognized that you cannot COMPLETELY remove yourself from anyone's life, mainly because we all inhabit the same planet, but you sure can do your damnedest to make sure things between you and the girl you are NEXTing stay in the past and you move on to your future.
What you need to do to properly NEXT a girl is this:
#1: Do NOT initiate contact in any way. I cannot stress this enough.
#2: If she calls..
2a: Say Hi, be polite or neutral. Say you are busy. Say you don't feel like talking. Say you are in the middle of a great date. Whatever. Just get off the phone ASAP in a polite manner.
2b: Do not end the phone conversation on a bad note, if possible. Don't be rude. There is no reason for this, no matter how bad she treated you, or whatever.
2c: If she suggests that you call her, tell her you will, but don't. Yeah, it's a lie. Who cares.
2d: Remove her number from your cell phone/little black book. Scribble that shit out with a Sharpie if that is what it takes.
#3: If she stops by..
3a: Tell her now is not a good time for hanging out/whatever she stopped by for.
3b: If she persists, tell her it REALLY is not a good time, and make an excuse.
3c: If she stopped by to get something from you, and you want to keep it, tell her you do not have it, or you are using it but will give it to her when you are done with it, which should be pretty soon.
#4: If you have her email address, or screen names in IM programs, remove her from your lists of email addresses and IM screen names. Do it. I'm not joking, either.
#5: If she for any reason messages you via email or instant message..
5a: Ignore it, she doesn't know if you are actually at your computer or away from the keyboard. That is the glory of teh innerweb.
5b: Remove her from your list(s) if she has been added again from messaging you.
#6: If you see her in person..
6a: If it is just you and her alone..
6aa: If you have to stay at the place, and she is with you, be polite or neutral. She will probably be staying, so let's not make a scene.
6ab: If she brings up how you guys don't talk any more, tell her you are a busy person. Lie if you have to. Tell her you'll get in touch with her when your life settles down - naturally you won't.
6ac: If you don't have to stay at the place, and she shows no signs of leaving, tell her you are late for an appointment/date/colonoscopy/root canal, and leave.
6ad: If she says she'll come with, tell her she can't. Make up an excuse if you have to.
6b: If it is you and her around a group of friends (mutual or otherwise)..
6ba: Be polite. If you have to stay, keep talk at a minimum. Talk to your other friends. Talk to other people. Talk to her only if she initiates conversation, or the situation calls for it.
6bb: If you don't have to stay, be polite and leave.
#7: If you work with her..
(Note: This is one of the more difficult situations for a weak IW. Some guys can handle being around former IPs, but others can't, and either way if she works with you you are going to have to, so it is best that you learn to deal with your former one-itis/IP if you work with her.)
7a: Keep things civil. You have to work with her, and your attitude reflects your performance and promotion at work.
7b: Learn to deal with the fact that she is no good for you, you guys are never going to be together, and you are the one that will have to be proactive to make sure you don't fall into the motions of being an IW.
7c: Do not supplicate. This should be a given, but sometimes it needs said again and again and again. This is one of those agains.
7d: If she starts conversation that you don't care to talk about, say you are too busy and be on your way. Or, if you work directly with her, start conversation about something else. Your grnadmother died, you bought a new car, some cousin's daughter's friend's mother-in-law won the lottery. Whatever.
It really is that simple. NEXTing is not a long, dramatic speech. Now, let us go over WHY it is not a long, dramatic speech..
Women crave attention and drama. Even if she is crying, she is loving the drama. I know this from experience. I am not hating on women - far from it. They are just emotional creatures, whereas men are more logical (usually) creatures. If you tell her off in the most hurtful manner possible, you are only feeding her need for drama. You are not helping your cause.
You are trying to fade away, and possibly make her wonder, 'Why isn't he talking to me?'
Believe it or not, her wondering will possibly bother her until the day she dies. If you tell her, 'You are a greedy ignorant slut who doesn't care how I feel,' she will gossip about you to your friends, or her friends, and get validation from them that no, she is not a greedy ignorant slut, and that themuz guy.. He's just jealous he isn't Tom, who is lucky to get unemployment and workers' compensation because he hurt his back fucking his boss on her office desk, as well as be with themuz's case of one-itis. Hopefully after this paragraph you see exactly why you do not make a NEXT a long, dramatic speech. Long, dramatic speech includes emotional away messages on IM programs or blogs.
You want to pull this off as clean as possible. You do not want to hurt your image with other girls. You do not want to hurt your image with your friends. This is a small world, and your case of one-itis, or whatever, will talk to others about how you spazzed out.
Be a man, and just NEXT her cleanly.
