biggest trouble at school

in grade 7 we had reading buddies wiht the retarded, class they have a fish tank in there room i had about ten fire crackers in my pockers i taped them all together and droped them in the fish tank killed all the fish and my retard started to scream when the ea came in this bitchy girl im my class ratted me out 10 day suspention boo ya !

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MATT ! why is there a chair in the shower !?

my legs got tired !

yeah i just remembered a funny thing i did in like 8th gade, my friends and i were playing lacrosse and we were bored and the school bus for the little kids was going by, so i got a paintball out of my neighbors yard and threw it at the bus, i nailed the bus, which was going like 30 mph, and the bus driver stopped, got out and chsed us, we all ran away and she couldnt catch us, and it was funny
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Creator of the NS Cousin Exchange Program

'Hey look, it's a Zamboni.' My not so intelligent friend after he saw the Loon Gondola

Stealth Ninja of the Silent Army

Viva la Resistance!

8 th grade we went on a field trip to a museum. anyways they had a skeleton and my friend and i moved his hand onto his balls and then stuck his middle finger up into his mouth. we wedged them in and they got stuck. then when the guy started to talk everyone started to laugh and he freaked. if i were ever to get caught it would have been 3 day suspension


You don't know shit about fuck, my man-Robin Williams

what the hell is drooping
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'who wants to put the screws in?'
'i do!'
'no i do, my dad is a mechanic so i bet i am a lot better at stripping and screwing then you are!!!

in like 2nd or 1st grade i got sent to the office in music class for singing the national anthem with i quote 'too much spirit.' i was singing it like they do at the hockey games cause i was big into hockey.

Skeletor? You don't know who Skeletor is? Sheeeeiiittttt.....
proud member of NSSSOD

i got suspended 5 days for hacking the school district network 2 weeks ago, it sucked cause i did it the year before and got caught now, they wanted to expel me but i got lucky.

________________________________________________________________

-Only Through Chaos Will We Ever See Change

we hate this kid so we got a plan going, and i shit in a cup and pissed in it and then got a spoon from the cafiteria, then mixed it up then my other super strong friends all held him down in the bathroom, 2 of them holding his mouth open, so i then scooped about 6 spoon fulls of it in his mouth, we all got 2 years probation, and i was expelled with 3 of my other friends, it was the green poop too

whos in da house, SACA is in the house!!! hahahahmuhahahah

im 7th grade we disected crayfish and we filled the toilets with crayfish parts. he never cauggh us cuz we blammed it on the class before us, which is good because i have him this year in 8th grade

i broke into the underground tunnel system at my school... if i got caught i would have been expeled with out questioning haha opps. my next mission is to climb the kibby dome, and break into the admin building and storm the cock tower

.:[Tyler]:.

I didn't get in trouble but this story is close enough. So me and my friend live in WP and not to much happens around here but twice every year all these band and choir kids come up from all over the counrty to have some sort of compition. So at the end of all of them playing, they have a party with music and lights and it's next to a parking garage. So anyways me and Mr. X to protect his name I am Q just to make it quicker to read. Well before we go to the dance we get really twisted and trip. Well as we are heading down another kid comes up and asks us if we want to smoke we say no since we were already pretty FU?K'D. Anyways he heads up stairs hops in his car lights up and the cops bust him. Anyways more with the orginal story. Me and X head in to the dancing people and we end up meeting these 2 extremely hot women. We dance with them for a while and they tell us they don't have a curfew so we ask them to a party later on. We dance intill the end and the last song they end up playing some good old lag wagon so we start moshing and my friend ends up punching this other kid we know in the face and breaking his nose. But the kid really didn't mind because it has already been broken enough times not to remember them all. But the cops patrolling our nice little high school event ends up jumping on X and hand cuff him. So it's about 9:30 and about at 10:00 they finally let him go after they other kid explains about his nose so nothing happens. So we end up taking these 2 girls to a party and get even more fucked up. They tell us around 1:00 that they have to leave because they have to leave early in the morning. So we end up leaving the party around 2:30 and head back to their hotel. They end up inviting us up to their room for some extra partying. We bring 2 more bottles with us and a 1/20z. Well I guess their counseler had been looking for them the whole night and finally decided to go to bed. So he ends up walking by their room one last time. And I guess he heard noises that he wouldn't regularly hear coming from sleeping kids rooms. Well he ends up knocking on the door and yelling I'm coming in. Me in complete panic grabed some of my clothes and some of hers and jumped out the window (about 2 stories into waist deep slush-pow snow). Now most of the rest of the story is from the girls e-mail explaining what happened after my dramatic exit and my friend but not alot from him since he was pretty fuc?ed up. So I guess my friend grabed some of his clothes and some of hers and ran into the bathroom. So the counseler enters the girls are hiding under their sheets, 2 bottles of Jose are on the table between the beds and a 1/2 oz is sitting on the table next to the t.v. some in joint form some packed in a makeshift bong we had created on the way over. I guess the counseler forgot to check the bathroom and was so mad he just started yelling at the girls. Well they end up bringing more counselers into the room and start some huge discussion on what had happened that night. So I climb out of the snow bank and go and climb into my vehicle. I realize my keys are in the other kids pockets so I just sit there watching people walk arounf the room and such. I guess while all this was happening my friend got the bright idea that since he would be there awhile he should at least take a shower and sober up. So when he turns on the shower the counselers know that only 2 people are suppose to be in their room so they open the door to find my drunk friend singing naked in the shower. Now at this point all the people in the room are going nuts at the 2 girls and are triing to dry and cloath my friend. Now they sit my friend in one of the chairs next to the window and they tell him that they are going to call the cops. So he panics just as I did earlier and jumps out of the open window. The camp counselers are so stunned by this I guess that they all went running out of the room and downstairs to check if he was alright. He ended up running to my car and driving off before any of them could get downstairs and see us leave. We end up going camping in my car for the night up in the middle of nowhere. We try to go to the hotel in the morning and the cops are there and the bands and such are loading their buses to leave. We say ohhh well and go home to chill at my house. So it's around 5pm and I get an e-mail from a adress I have never heard of. It was the two girls and they were writing from one of those pay by minute computers. They said they had a good time and they didn't know how they were going to be punished. Today around 11 I get a message from one of the girls saying this... You got me kicked out of school for two weeks, I have to have sex ed classes,I can no longer go on any school trips,I can't play sports, I have to go to AA meetings, and I have to go to a drug rehab center for 4 weeks during the summer ...you...Asshole ...Bastard....Fuckface....
So I get completely bummed and sad for what had happened. But I then get a second message. It read
, but I had the best time out of anyone, ThanX.. look me up if you ever come out to *******.
Beat That.

If you use your 'IMAGINATION' anything is possible squidward.

I don't think anyone can beat that... wow.

-Teddy

holy shit
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'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend it feels like im cheating on my dick'

Viva la resistance!

'who cares what they think, i'm sure the slaves didn't like the plantation owners, but we all know who was living better.'PHROSTY!

I wish I could have gotten into the clock tower at my school. Ive always wonder what the hell was up there

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The French have only ever won ONE war, the French Revolution, because the opponent was also French.

wow fucking crazy times

.:[Tyler]:.

ok..i have like 3. the first one was when i was in 4th grade. me and my friends went into the bathroom and there was toilet that sed 'do not flush' so naturally we flushed it. it started fillin up with water and over flowing realyl bad. before we could run there was and inch of water on the flor and the janitor walks in. detention for a week. the next one is when we were on a ski trip. we were in a coach bus and me and this girl went into the bathrom and start makin out. it started to go further and i whipped out the schlong. sum1 told on us and a teacher walked in with her on her knees and my dick standin at atention. sucked really bad. almost got suspended. detention for 3 weeks. the next one is when we were on a field trip and me and my friends got toasted and started moonin cars outa the bus. we got caught, but they never found out we were high!!! yay. detention 2 weeks


proud member of the loon moutntain freeride team

acid, I enjoyed reading that props..


'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge

wow thats crazy, that would b fun to jump out of a window to run away from people.... that sux what happened to the girls though
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'who wants to put the screws in?'
'i do!'
'no i do, my dad is a mechanic so i bet i am a lot better at stripping and screwing then you are!!!

Linefreerider, waht a punk, flushed a toilet with a do not flush sign, eheh

I guess its not really school, but at the prom, I distributed 50 hits of acid. I guess I didn't get caught either, so uh...

I guess that makes it even cooler.

I tossed my binder off the second balcony of the school out side (in grade 4) and it hit this teacher in the head.
--Dirty Steeze--

my buddys little sister (14) got busted doing coke in class, IN CLASS...shes fucked up...
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'Pure, like a cup of virgin blood mixed with 151, one sip will make a nigga flip' nas

'Did you ever think that you would be this rich, did you ever think that you would have these hits, did you ever think that i'd flash the nine and walk off with your shit like its mine' 50

well in 8th grade i stole my science teachers placenta from his baby..and put it on the roof..
lets see..in 6th grade i told this girl to eat this white stuff i had in a plastic baggy which was actually salmon sperm from science that day..i dunno i've done some bad/stupid shit
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how did canada get its name? they drew letters out of a hat..
C-eh-N-eh-D-eh

Last day of school grade 7.My friend Dave {RIP-he died last year.It sucks.He was a fuckin' crazy ass skier, fearless}Dave had this marine emergency distress flare/smoke signal that he stole from a commercial water taxi{it seated 30 people,not small}. He decided he was going to set it off in his locker.{he should have used someone else's cuz that was how he got busted} So at about 11:15am he excuses himself from class on the 2nd floor and runs to his locker on the the 3rd floor.The flare was a metal can about 12' long 5'round w/ a heavy duty canvas rip cord sticking out one end. So he rips the cord,shuts his locker door and runs back to class.About 1min later the fire alarm went off and the whole school was evacuated.I've never seen so much orange smoke in my life.Eventually the whole school was filled from the third floor down to the ground with smoke.The fire engines showed up the firemen put on their oxygen masks grabbed their hoses and went to battle the flare.The whole school is on the field ,all of the teachers are doing head counts to make sure everyone got out ,and me n'Dave are standing there and all he can say is 'holy shit,holy shit,holy shit ,holy shit' About ten minutes later the firemen came out carrying the flare which was still spewing orange smoke. They couldn't put it out cuz it was a marine flare thats meant to be thrown in the ocean,and apparently they had sprayed his locker for 2 minutes before they realised they couldnt put it out.Then everyone go to go home.Dave got a call a couple hours later from the principal and the cops but they couldn't really do anything to him because they weren't going to charge him and grade 7 was done.

we spray painted a huge marijuana leaf on our senior wall and had a nice big '03 after it.....
-----official ns post warning-------
The words expressed above are the views of Chris Mercer. If you have a fucking problem with it, you can rant all you want, it's not going to change Chris Mercer's views.
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while nothing on this post will probally ever beat acid's story, i hit my gym teacher in the eye with a shuttlecock during badmiton, and he had to get sugery and shit. so the other teacher flipped out and dragged me to the office and the super just happened to be there and everybody flipped out and sent me right to the dean of students to get punished... but he was also the athletic director, and i was the best player on the soccer team and we were playing our rivals that day, and he said, come back tomorrow so you can play tonight, but if anyone asks, i am thinking about the best way to punish you. so i played, scored a hat trick, went to the office the next day, and cause we won 3 to 2, he just gave me one detention, and i served it during study hall and ended up filling one pop machine and leaving. it was nice

If 'pro'gress is defined as the act of moving forward, then 'con'gress must mean...

i hope u all no i was kidding about mine too ahah, i do that

whos in da house, SACA is in the house!!! hahahahmuhahahah

haaaaaahhaa i mean I WOULDNT DO THAT***

whos in da house, SACA is in the house!!! hahahahmuhahahah

i got caught for selling weed because some dumbshit told the school that i had a pound on me and was selling it to dealers all around the school, this was bullshit because i only had 2oz and was selling it to freshman. someone told me that i was going to get picked up so i diched all my stuff in someone's locker that will remain unamed. then the security gaurds find me and take me into there office. they say that they have someone in another room that knows what i did an told on me. i told them to go fuck them selves because i had nothing on me. they search me and they got mad because i didn't. the other kid was a idiot so he came in to the room i was in when the adminisrators were talking outside and said that he got caught. he was a fucking lier and i knew it. so i got up played along for 1 min and then i hit him on the face knocked him down and beat the shot out of him. i broke his nose and cracked his jaw in 3 places. i got up and stomped once on his chest, that was when the security guard decided to check in on me and saw that i had fucked the other kid up. they saw this oportunity and gave me 3 day suspension and
adding izzle to words can make even the richest white people sound even gayer than they do without their own knowlge

i was smokin a joint in someones garage thatwas just across the street from the school and as they open the garage door.. the smoke rolls out and a cop rolls by... yeah i got busted for posession on school grounds cuz apparently within a mile of the school is considered school grounds... then i got expelled and then was forced to go to drug classes
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*~Riann~*

you stare at me like im a vitamin!

yeah we have a bridge club...the kids that smoke go to the end of the bridge 'where they cant get caught' but the school property at my school is 100ft past the bridge and the bridge club had nothing to do with the 3 drug busts that day
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'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend it feels like im cheating on my dick'

Viva la resistance!

'who cares what they think, i'm sure the slaves didn't like the plantation owners, but we all know who was living better.'PHROSTY!

me and my friend had a can of lighter fluid, and we stole this kids woodwork project that was almost done, and covered it in fluid, then we lit it on fire outside. sure enough, the vice principal turns the corner, and takes us to the office. we got 2 days suspension, and had to go to the fire hall downtown to learn about fire safety, but the fire officer guy didn't really take me seriously because i'm a girl, and they're used to guys, so the guy didn't really know what to do to me
if god didn't want us to masturbate, he would've made our arms shorter

Acid was the best

I beat the shit out of this one Natzi kid. it was fun. LOL poetic justice because I am Jewish. and I didn't actually get in trouble because the kid was too afraid and embaresed to tell anyone


____________________

'it would be funny if someone went up to a skier and broke their skis over their knee,'

-my snowboarder friend who shortly afterwards got his ass kicked.

if you are jewish, don't you think that you wuld know how to spell Nazi?hahahah some people
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'Im talking about a little place i like to call, aspen'
'I dunno lloyd, the french are assholes'

not really bad but this was funny. this fucking idiot in grade 12 is like 'I can do chin-ups on anything' or something like that. so my friend tells him to do it on this tiny little bar on the celeing (you know the panel celeing with thoes tiny little bars in a big grid used to hold up the panels). so anyways he jumps up, grabs it and goes straight back down, not even slowing down a little bit because of grabbing the bar. so he's just standing there with the bar bent down 10 feet in each direction and he's holding onto it infront of his face. we're all laughing our asses off, then we hear this ' SLAM, SLAM, SLAM' and we look behind us and the whole celeing of panels is collapsing in a chain reaction. we all just run. we come back 15 minutes later and the whole celing has collapsed in that section of the school.
Its not winning or loosing that matters, its making fun of the fat kid that comes in last.
You can call me Bob........M.D.