Pondering And Wonderings

My trip to costa rica:

I feel whole again. after walking up a creek in the jungle, slipping under waterfalls and jumping into pools, hopping from rock to rock, and sharing the experience with others. This trip is a cleanse of sorts for me, yet another step towards growing up and pursuing my goals. The sustainable practices involved in ecotourism are the same practices that are going to be needed in the coming years in the commercial, industrial and residential sectors. now that we've built a civilization, its our responsibility to sustain it.
My hair is still wet from rafting the Pacuare river with Rios Tropicales. yesterday we were at Earth University, touring their campus where they research organic farming and natural ways to increase productivity. they raise various livestock, using organic fertilizers from the livestock, which they use to grow the crops, which they feed back to the livestock. They study micro-organisms and the decomposition cycle, exploiting as many natural defences and practices they can to increase farming. They collect the methane from the livestock, calling it Biogas, and using it to power buildings, such as stoves and water heaters. They use red worms to decompose as well. Cleansing my body of toxins, and my mind of poisonious thoughts has become a priority this trip, in an attepmt to capture a piece of myself I used to have pride in, and this learning is somehow inspiring.

learning doesnt come in a linear fashion, you cant plan what, or when you learn something. all you can decide is what you want to do. And the when is volatile, if it's not happening right now, nothings for certain.

"what the fuck do you know?"
"who are you to discredit my information?"
"Are you an expert?"
"do you know something I don't? then use that to de-throne me, for if I was indeed wrong, I will bow out graciously, for you have shared your knowledge, and it was greater than mine."
"Don't sit in the back of the class and mutter 'bullshit' to people potentially inlfuenced by your opinion. play fair or shut the fuck up."


just had to get that off my chest


What a week. The emotions rage, the heart cries out for a match, the faces and names flashing through my mind, all real and genuine. joy, sadness, ectasy and love all flare at the same instant, bringing tears and a smile. my eyes never light up as bright. the future is so bright, so dark, and definately exciting. the potential is the greatest. Im not afraid. I hate getting screwed over when i trust the world though. I was robbed on the beach while swimming, someone rooted through my bag, and stole my electronics, 50 cds, portable speakers and a cd player. just another thing to add to the never ending list of things stolen and lost. Ill get over it. You know why? becuase ill be building treehouses in the rainforest.

Sometimes Im ashamed of humanity, saddened by all the failed potential. Other times, i am inspired, full of hope and faith, proud to be here now, to be apart of the struggle alongside you. It seems I never stay in one of these times, but bounce from one to the other.

high highs, and Low low's, the blessing and curse of the mentally awake.

thanks for reading