Black Eyed Peas: "My Humps"
The verdict is in, and the human race approves: "My Humps" is a worldwide hit! And it's all due to the power of democracy: It wasn't even planned as a single, but thanks to word-of-mouth, iTunes downloads, and inundations with requests at radio and MTV, the label finally caved and made it one. So, for the infinitesimal subfraction of you that have somehow managed to evade this omnipresent cultural crapsack, let me spoil the hook for you: "My hump! My hump! My hump!/ My hump! My hump! My hump!/ My hump! My hump! My hump!/ MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS!" For the rest of us, hearing this song for the first time was 2005's most sobering musical experience. Like "Who Let the Dogs Out" before it, "My Humps" is so monumentally vacuous, slapped together and tossed-off that it truly tests the definition of "song." It's actually more like listening to a five-minute commercial jingle-- a point driven home by the miles upon miles of product placement that attempt to pass for its verses. The good news, of course, is that something responsible for this much misery could never go unpunished, and at the last minute, God got his revenge: What other pop singer in music history has ever unwittingly pissed her pants onstage?
I hate, hate, HATE this song.
