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March, 2024

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Poem I wrote

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.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
Here is a poem I wrote for english class, I got an F.

They mope and wear tight jeans
They write poetry that's witty and smart.
We know you're depressed, you don't have to act the part!
Your girlfriend leaves you
Boo-Hoo, here's a tissue
How would you deal?
if your shit got real?
your mom works two jobs,
and she still can't buy a meal, or to eat, you have to steal
or maybe, surprise!
god decided to take the sight from your eyes.

No, you're just sad
because you can't get your hair to do that flippy thing
or your mean mommy won't let you wear that eyebrow ring.
you say your life keeps getting crappier
but wouldn't it make you happier,

If you stopped dwelling on a high school breakup,
and rejoiced in the fact that you can afford that eye makeup.

dude, your parents are rich
you have two butlers, and a maid
your allowance is twice what they get paid!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have real things to do
My parents won't pay for my life
I have to decide what shitty college to go to!

so finally, here's a life lesson,
don't sit around and pout,
or my foot will give you something to be really depressed about.


I wrote it about an emo kid I know who keeps calling me and complaining about how hard his life is.
Dec 8 2005 6:40PM
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CORKED
Posts: 320 - Karma: 16
haha, and you got an F on it? i dunno i feel where you're coming from.
Dec 8 2005 6:42PM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
i bet you got an F for saying shit. however, i'd give you an A+. good work!
Dec 8 2005 6:42PM
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.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
my teacher said it was too negative, and that I'm a cynical jerk
Dec 8 2005 6:44PM
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Ski_Unit_19
Posts: 8188 - Karma: 38
well that shouldnt count against the quality of it
Dec 8 2005 6:46PM
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guillermolongjon2
Posts: 648 - Karma: 10
shit. i thought that poem was real good
Dec 8 2005 6:47PM
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cgregg
Posts: 587 - Karma: 18
i did not understand if he gets a big allowance he cannot buy eye make up.and you got an f for saying shit, or dude
Dec 8 2005 6:51PM
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Ski_Unit_19
Posts: 8188 - Karma: 38
we are allowed to curse in our poetry..just as long as it doesnt get out of hand
Dec 8 2005 6:52PM
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ISkiSwitch
Posts: 3157 - Karma: 22
Best poem I've read in a while dude. No worries.
Dec 8 2005 6:53PM
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PimpDaddySkier
Posts: 4221 - Karma: 20
dang id give that a friggen A
Dec 8 2005 6:54PM
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puma08
Posts: 4 - Karma: 10
thats worth a friggin A+ bitches
Dec 8 2005 6:56PM
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GotamaBCshredder
Posts: 5062 - Karma: 424
thats special
Dec 8 2005 7:04PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
Hey man, good work.

read mine, in Just FOr FUn, in the NS gabber.

ill paste it here too.

I woke up in the middle of the night and started writing. this is what came out:

Isnt it funny that (illusionsdelusionsdisissusions)
can seem so clear
revel in the image
like a pig in a blanket
we think we're in love when all we do is wank it
you can apply it to allsorts of things
Religion, faith, or lack thereof
TIme, seems theres never enough
we all tend to agree that life's pretty rough
so we surround ourselves in a plethora of stuff
The substance of our lives, little more than some fluff
so get married
take a pure girls cherry
thatll prove youre really tough
this is your life now, take good care of your wife
try to avoid the pain and strife
Hope she doesnt cut it off at night with a knife
but i digress
and now i've forgot the rest
overcome with visions of big sweet breasts
Oh look! another test!
better do my best, Dont want God to get pissed
Should rinse my mouth with ListerineTM Swish swish
Want to be sure when I swim with the fish
I am granted THE ONE BIG WISH
That my soul doesnt burn, that it's given endless bliss
but i know He'd say "You cant just wish,
You must earn your place within heavens gate"
"But mistah! mistah! what about a thing called fate?"
"Were you ever Human, can you really relate?"
I want to swing in cargo net
and God's just a baby and the diaper is wet
All around the world, we're covered in shit, some things ive seen
ill never forget
Addicted to comfort
i truly regret
"pffft!" whoops, was that a fart
gotta make like hair,
and part


P.S. What if god is gay and all he wants to do is fuck me when i get there?






Courtesy of a 3am flash

Shawn.
Dec 8 2005 7:11PM
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.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
haha, thanks guys, maybe I should show this to my teacher and get her to change my grade
Dec 8 2005 8:25PM
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Timmy_G
Posts: 3735 - Karma: 15
^ goos stuff man
Dec 8 2005 8:29PM
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Aenigma
Posts: 11256 - Karma: 424
So your teacher gave you a bad grade because you said something she didn't agree with in your poetry? Something's wrong here...
Dec 8 2005 8:59PM
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sacchettiadam
Posts: 2930 - Karma: 31
that poem sounded like lyrics from a wanna be rap artist.
Dec 8 2005 9:15PM
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SkiingLlama
Posts: 694 - Karma: 5
an A+ im my book
Dec 8 2005 9:20PM
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Nivrittam
Posts: 1667 - Karma: 21
def an A in my opinion
Dec 8 2005 9:24PM
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skisebski
Posts: 5970 - Karma: 21
dope. one thing thats fucking stupid. you cant judge art like that man. fuck that bitch who ever gave you that mark. what did he/she say about it?
Dec 8 2005 9:26PM
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skisebski
Posts: 5970 - Karma: 21
she cant give you a failing mark because its too negative. unless she asked for a positive poem....
Dec 8 2005 9:26PM
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.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
well, I am kinda gangster
Dec 8 2005 11:07PM
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^NewYork
Posts: 2050 - Karma: 13
that was pure geenyus. fuckign awesome man. I wish i was still in school so i could right shit like that!
Dec 8 2005 11:09PM
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^NewYork
Posts: 2050 - Karma: 13
*write. and yes i know i spelled genius wrong
Dec 8 2005 11:13PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
THe spoon....is too big....

THe SPOOn Is toO BIG
Dec 9 2005 12:22AM
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JackBach
Posts: 4155 - Karma: -5
LOL hahahahahaha
Dec 9 2005 12:29AM
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cLyOnS_45
Posts: 1072 - Karma: 10
i dont understand how the teacher can give you an F on it. In my class if you did it you cant be graded bad if your not the best poet in the world.
Dec 9 2005 12:45AM
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freezed
Posts: 12973 - Karma: 500
made me laugh a bit.
Dec 9 2005 12:47AM
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President
Posts: 1511 - Karma: 11
made me cry a bit
Dec 9 2005 12:48AM
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TWoods
Posts: 10014 - Karma: 8,385
You are my hero.
Dec 9 2005 12:50AM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13048 - Karma: 18,302
For some reason English teacher hate new styles of poetry
I liked it
Dec 9 2005 7:48AM
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InfernoHits
Posts: 4755 - Karma: 192
ha I wish my teacher would call me a cynical jerk in my paper
Dec 9 2005 12:26PM
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sethpistol02
Posts: 390 - Karma: 10
ur teachers a bitch... you should get a a fort effort imean at least you wrote one, and hey it wasnt even that bad
Dec 9 2005 12:31PM
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powder_2_the_people
Posts: 1801 - Karma: 13
fuck man that was beautiful, your teach should be sodomized
Dec 9 2005 12:31PM
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-LineDarkside-
Posts: 359 - Karma: 10
yaa my art teacher grades on how good we draw. Thats fucked cuz some people just can't draw at all.
Dec 9 2005 12:44PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
john that's awsome. which teacher got mad?
Dec 9 2005 4:15PM
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feezy
Posts: 2022 - Karma: 23
its a shitty poem.
wanna be rap.
Dec 9 2005 4:24PM
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CooksCorner
Posts: 3939 - Karma: 22
Yo, post the teachers email and we can fill her inbox until she/he changes your grade.
Dec 9 2005 4:48PM
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radskier
Posts: 685 - Karma: 16
I thought being a cynical drunken jerk was one of the mandatory demands for being an actual poet lol. I'd give you an A, good work dude
Dec 9 2005 4:57PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
id give you a b.

nice to speak you heart, but it really doesnt flow very nicely

choppy.

not that mine wasnt, but i didnt hand mine in for marking.
Dec 9 2005 5:06PM
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.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
I wrote that 5 minutes before class
Dec 9 2005 5:12PM
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STAUSS
Posts: 8232 - Karma: 3,311
haha i like it, emo kids should be taken out and shot, or sent to iraq then they can REALLY complain about something.
Dec 9 2005 5:35PM
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niels.
Posts: 1282 - Karma: 14
hahgahaha dude thats so great! you just made my day.
Dec 9 2005 5:41PM
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casualfiasco
Posts: 662 - Karma: 10
dude thats sick.
nice way to bash on emo kids...
A+
Dec 9 2005 5:48PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
5 min, yeah, thats why you got a bad mark. you have to wrk on poems, let them evolve.
Dec 11 2005 1:05PM
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EC-Tom
Posts: 2572 - Karma: 12
i think that poem speaks he truth
Dec 11 2005 1:33PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
that doesnt make it good.


not that it wasn't.
Dec 12 2005 6:33PM
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.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
I never really said it was good, I just thought people on here would enjoy it
Dec 12 2005 6:36PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
sure, fair enough man
Dec 13 2005 3:19PM
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Snubluck
Posts: 2192 - Karma: 11
skipimp_'s poetry was the ultimate in awesome.
I thought it was funny, just...a shitty poem.
Dec 13 2005 6:06PM
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Snubluck
Posts: 2192 - Karma: 11
But this reminds me of my goal. In my english literature class we have to write poems and I've decided to write them about different trips I have on various substances.
Dec 13 2005 6:08PM
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