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Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

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Paul-o-Rama
Posts: 3301 - Karma: 13
ok, i'll start. it was channukah time once again and as usual, my grandma, her mother-in-law, sent my mom some slinky sleeping wear. My mom turns to me and goes "hmm, i wonder why she always sends me slinky sleepwear." without even thinking, i say "maybe she wants some more grandchildren, OH FUCK, I didn't mean it" By that point my mom was laughing histerically. She never let me forget it.
Nov 24 2005 1:53AM
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gnarles.
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 130
So worth it though some of these stories are way to funny
Jan 20 2011 1:25AM
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oreopancake.
Posts: 2596 - Karma: 21
When I was like 3 or 4, I was at the pool with my mom. Since i was so young, I changed in the ladies' room with her. I went to one of the stall's and went to the bathroom (all by my fucking self), then came out feeling like a million bucks. So an older lady comes up to me, says "wow you are a big boy going to the potty all by yourself!"

So I say, "Yep, and I have a big penis too!"

I don't know why I said it, but my mom loves tell that story.
Jan 20 2011 1:38AM
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gnarles.
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 130
This happens to my friend. So his field hockey coach(who is Jewish) drove my friend and his son(who is also Jewish). Well in the car ride to the game my friend decided to start telling some Jewish jokes(he had no clue they where Jewish). Well my friends coachs son had to tell him to stop and explain that they are Jewish.
Jan 20 2011 1:59AM
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DroppinTheDub
Posts: 131 - Karma: 9
My friend got his gf pregant so when he went to tell his parents, about 10 of us (friends) followed him into his house without his permission or anything. We got out our go pro that was already on the helmet so we put it on his head when he was talking and we all crowded around him. He was so akwarded out. as soon as he spilled the beans we were all laughing so hard cause of his akward reaction and his parents rage. omg, best night ever.
Jan 20 2011 7:58AM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
That is completely messed up. In 5 years you're gunna look back and be like "who does that?"
Jan 20 2011 8:30AM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
But this is the best story. Hilarious. "All by my fucking self" hahah
Jan 20 2011 8:31AM
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DroppinTheDub
Posts: 131 - Karma: 9
nah no regrets, he took it like a champ, now a happy father an they're getting married this summer. vibes to them. AND i still have the vid to play at his bachelor party
Jan 20 2011 8:37AM
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jibnut
Posts: 3038 - Karma: 304
Well thats good, but If I was the girl in that situation I'd beat the shit out of you hahaha.
Jan 20 2011 8:48AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,270
cunnin' linguists doesn't sound like cunnilingus unless you say it wrong. when your mom asks, just say "cunning linguists"
Jan 20 2011 8:57AM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
this. i have had to tell my dad like 23423 times that im listening to cunninlynguists and hes never been shaken by it, i just say cunning linguists.
Jan 20 2011 9:37AM
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TonKwon
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 54
IM BLUNTED
Jan 20 2011 10:04AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
nothing shocks my parents, seriously. i've always been super open with them, haha.
Jan 20 2011 10:06AM
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Static
Posts: 8494 - Karma: 4,068
hahaha
Jan 20 2011 10:07AM
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E.C.
Posts: 3211 - Karma: 319
i was at my grandmas when i was like 12. my entire family was there because it was also our thanksgiving. and my grandma gives me a flashlight and tell everyone that i can use it under my blankets to look at porn. Since i was 12 and a little shy boy i got pretty embarassed


or this wasnt to my mom but about her. i was in the first grade and called my teacher mommy.
Jan 20 2011 11:03AM
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cushie
Posts: 100 - Karma: 11
i have a friend who like feels up his moms tits and grabs her ass an even showers with her hes 17
Jan 20 2011 4:14PM
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REDFRO420
Posts: 516 - Karma: 60
got hammered and called my mom for a ride home but when she picked up i asked her if she was home yet even though i just called the home phone then she asked if i was drunk and i just said mom your so drunk and hung up.
Jan 20 2011 4:53PM
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monsterdong11
Posts: 135 - Karma: 10
pahahahah funny shit! along the same lines i have a friend who was blacked out one night and was so fucked up he called his home phone and left a message yelling im sooooo fucked upp mom!!! and i guess when his little brothers, parents and grandparents got back from dinner they all heard the message haha i had to get a ride home with him in the morning from his mom so awkward
Jan 20 2011 5:03PM
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summersover
Posts: 5777 - Karma: 233
worst moment ever was when i was 10ish and we were having a brunch for mothers day with my parents, sister, grandparents, aunt, uncle & cousin. anyways i clearly wasnt cultured enough at the time to even know what i was saying but basically my mom was bitching at me for not eating the strawberries, bananas and stuff and so the conversation went something like:

Mom: Im glad you like the waffles and bacon but eat some fruit
Me: I am a fruit.

At this my cousin and uncle started killing themselves laughing and i turned super red because i realized i said something embarrassing. Anyways i was informed on what exactly i had proclaimed and i was pretty much mortified. Plus my uncle kept making jokes about how we were getting to "celebrate mother's day and a coming out"

I still dont even know what the fuck i thought i was saying. like i was tired of my mom bothering me so I was sorta trying to insult myself, while also implying that normally i eat a lot of fruit and i just didnt want to eat any. either way it was super embarrassing and my cousin still gives me shit about it
Jan 20 2011 5:50PM
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Kush_Squad
Posts: 126 - Karma: 33
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Jan 20 2011 5:53PM
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Algebra
Posts: 5215 - Karma: 1,677
In like fifth grade my g'ma told me to never call a girl a bitch. And I said " well Im screwed then I guess". I also had a fucked up lip and my grandma said you look like a nigger! And I said thank ypu
Jan 20 2011 6:24PM
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disastertourism
Posts: 2402 - Karma: 135
"mum i think im dying. theres blood coming out my vagina"
Jan 20 2011 6:38PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
It's embarrassing because field hockey is a girls sport.


And Charlie, you think that calling your sister a bitch is embarrassing? .......
Jan 20 2011 6:54PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
I guess it's not so embarrassing cuz I followed her advice? Lulz
Jan 20 2011 7:13PM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
no waay
Jan 20 2011 7:49PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
not calling my sister a bitch, but her telling my entire family, including grandfather, while i was 9 and she was 5....
Jan 20 2011 8:02PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
Still not embarrassing............
Jan 20 2011 8:05PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Conversation my dad was trying to have with me about not knocking my gf up (it had been going for 30 minutes and I was getting annoyed and not paying attention):
"Yeahyeah dad don't worry that's why I buttfuck her"
"Um........ uh........."
"Wait, what did I just say?"
Jan 20 2011 8:07PM
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DroppinTheDub
Posts: 131 - Karma: 9
she thought it was funny, well after the whole "birth" thing, but like i said, they are married and having a ball, she thought it was funny as hell to see his expression
Jan 21 2011 10:39PM
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AbeFroman
Posts: 1268 - Karma: -4
HAHAHAHAHAHA "son of a fuck!" this thread is funny as shit
Jan 21 2011 11:19PM
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TonyMacaroni
Posts: 1310 - Karma: 34
so my school had a terry fox run first period that me and my friends skipped out on to go blaze. i get to my second class baked. just happened to be french class, and a test. fml.. my teachers a good guy, around his mid 30s.

so during my test i glance up at him for a second then look back down.. in a few seconds i look back up again and he's all up in my face smiling. i start giggling pretty hard but im trying to stop cuz the class is completely quiet because of the test. he walks to the front of the class, turns around and asks..
teacher: 'hey tony, why you smiling? you having a good day (while laughing).'
me: '(giggling/overly big smiles) iunno sir, just trying to get this test done.'
teacher: 'oh alright, you just seem a little different today thats all'

by now the whole class is staring at me, whispering asking if i am baked.. i just try and hide my face cuz it was sketching me out.

class ends and the teacher tells me he wants to see me after class. he tells me "i know what you've done. hopefully i won't be seeing you like this again in my class.."

he knows i blaze and i know he did as a kid so it was pretty funny.
Jan 22 2011 11:45PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
iv said a lot of things to my parents and my friends can never believe some of the things I say, im pretty open with them.

One time though, I came home around 12 and dropped some shrooms a bit before and was planning on just laying in bed and listening to some tunes. As soon as i walk in the door my moms turns on the light and says Karl! you need to go to the lake with your dad right now your ass hole brother is up there and your dad is so tired hell fall asleep. greeeat. first thing my dad says is can you drive. ``i just took some-`` i stopped myself in time, ``i was drinking`` so he drives. it was a very awkward drive cause i was trying not to make o conversation. about 20 min into the drive i yell out ``whoah was that a wig!`` awkward silence ``uh no that was a dead skunk`` another awkward silence then i just burst out laughing. and for the next 5- 10 min i fought to hold back from laughing it was very awkward and funny at the time.
Jan 23 2011 12:26AM
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EL_TIGRE
Posts: 2984 - Karma: 48
i was probably like 6 or something and i was trying to ask my parents if all those buildings were condominiums and instead i said condoms
Jan 23 2011 12:33AM
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sirschralpalot.
Posts: 453 - Karma: 18
haha what was her response to that?
Jan 23 2011 1:10AM
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Allegrath.
Posts: 250 - Karma: 30
So theres this part in Austin Powers (the first of course) where Frau Farbissina is going to introduce Scott Evil. She describes how they took Dr. Evils cum and created a human from it. She starts by saying, "Remeber when we froze your semen?" in a humorous voice. I saw this movie when I was about 12 so I was thinking along the lines of "seamen" and not "semen." So, of course I had to give my best impression to my parents and I go, "Hey, Dad, 'Remember when we froze your semen.'" Then my dad, being the passive guy he is goes, "Ha, yeah..." and then proceeds to look at the ground awkwardly and then walk away. I realized what I had done about a year later.
May 23 2011 9:26PM
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TOK
Posts: 2928 - Karma: 2,540
At the tender age of 7 I thought it would be a great idea to apply the spongebob sticker I got at the dentist directly to my dick. That's right, I didn't even take the backing off the sticker until i got home just so I could put the little yellow guy right on my 1 inch, juvenile, white penis. I had to ask my mom for help to get it off. We ran it under hot water for like 30 minutes, I then popped one. Awesome.
May 23 2011 9:36PM
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skiMONTANA
Posts: 60 - Karma: 12
Almost for a whole week I would come home and tell my parents new words I learned. One day my mom picked up a dictionary and I was all like" dick. Is that a bad word? That wood
May 23 2011 9:49PM
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flooz.
Posts: 153 - Karma: 13
I was laying in bed reading or something and absentmindedly scratching my stomach under the covers. My dad walked in and started talking to me and I was just casually looking at him listening, and then his gaze slowly shifts to where my hand is moving around. He was like "Uhh.. What are you .. no I don't wanna know" and walked out really fast. I tried to explain later but he just kept looking away and changing the subject ..
May 23 2011 10:36PM
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Z-Juice
Posts: 3151 - Karma: 1,504
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May 23 2011 10:43PM
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ILLinoisance
Posts: 3527 - Karma: 5,398
I asked my sister to get my mountain dew last night by saying, "dew me". Massive fail.
May 23 2011 11:04PM
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TOK
Posts: 2928 - Karma: 2,540
At the tender age of 7 I thought it would be a great idea to apply the spongebob sticker I got at the dentist directly to my dick. That's right, I didn't even take the backing off the sticker until i got home just so I could put the little yellow guy right on my 1 inch, juvenile, white penis. I had to ask my mom for help to get it off. We ran it under hot water for like 30 minutes, I then popped one. Awesome.
May 24 2011 10:50PM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
just read half this thread its amazing

before my parents knew i was dating i came home from a date after telling them i was seeing friends and my mom turns to me and goes

"Why do you have a bite mark next to your eye...?"
not only had to explain that i was dating i also had to explain what S&M was... ugh
May 24 2011 11:04PM
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DirtYStylE
Posts: 3635 - Karma: 8,774
Sep 5 2018 1:17PM
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