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March, 2024

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BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!

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Drail
Posts: 14011 - Karma: 10,001
Man: Here's one-

Cart-master: Ninepence.

Old Man: (feebly) I'm not dead!

Cart-master: (suprised) What?

Man: Nothing! Here's your ninepence....

Old Man: I'm not dead!

Cart-master: 'Ere! 'E says 'e's not dead!

Man: Yes he is.

Old Man: I'm not!

Cart-master: 'E isn't?

Man: Well... he will be soon-- he's very ill...

Old Man: I'm getting better!

Man: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

Cart-master: I can't take 'im like that! It's against regulations!

Old Man: I don't want to go on the cart....

Man: Oh, don't be such a baby.

Cart-master: I can't take 'im....

Old Man: I feel fine!

Man: Well, do us a favor...

Cart-master: I can't!

Man: Can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long...

Cart-master: No, gotta get to Robinson's, they lost nine today.

Man: Well, when's your next round?

Cart-master: Thursday.

Old Man: I think I'll go for a walk....

Man: You're not fooling anyone, you know--

(to Cart-master) Look, isn't there something you can do...?



(they both look around)



Old Man: I feel happy! I feel happy!



(the Cart-master deals the old man a swift blow to the head with his wooden

spoon. The old man goes limp.)



Man: (throwing the old man onto the cart) Ah. thanks very much.

Cart-master: Not at all. See you on Thursday!

Man: Right! All right....


Darryl Hunt

'today's show is brought to you by the letter... ...Joint' big bird.
Sep 21 2002 11:43PM
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JayDC7
Posts: 1620 - Karma: 10
search of the holy grail? havent seen taht in years.
Sep 22 2002 12:26AM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
lol! I love that movie so much.


I like the witch burning scene too. I was gonna write it out but if forget how it goes exactly..

______
'You're old enough to know that you won't get a lot of things in life because you don't have tits' - One of the 1/4 pipe builders at snowjam winnipeg to a couple young boys in response to why we'd let 3 girls on the ramp and not them

Don't think just jump.
Sep 22 2002 3:45AM
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PhattTim
Posts: 13943 - Karma: 83
haha, good times good times, gotta love it, I feeeeeell haaapppy!!! I think I'll goo for a wwaaaaalk!!

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~
*I love Matty Enns*
#Cut the Jibba Jabba fool! Start skiing!#
Sep 22 2002 6:11AM
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caleBCaleb
Posts: 1758 - Karma: 9
wow i was watching that movie last night, like u read my thoughts or somethibng, freaky
::::::::::::::::::::::::

Once upon a time there was a planet, whizzing along through the most vast and empty corner of space. It was a blue planet, because of it\'s abundance of water. From the water evolved the most amazing food chain in the universe, cropped full of species with incredible intelligence. Most notable of these species were the dolphins and the humans. Both loved to play in the blue water of the magic planet. Then like clockwork the planet would tilt into a particular angle, and the water would cool and recycle itself...as snow, a substance the humans loved to play in. -Greg Stump
Sep 22 2002 11:29AM
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Drail
Posts: 14011 - Karma: 10,001
'She is a witch! She made me a mute!... ...I got better'

Darryl Hunt

'Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
Sep 22 2002 11:54AM
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lizziebeth
Posts: 1596 - Karma: 22
'what's your favorite color? Red, no...aghhh!'

********************
i love homework. it's my favorite.
Sep 22 2002 12:11PM
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Line1260
Posts: 1946 - Karma: 14
the original ending is so much funnier than the one where evryone gets arrested


'He got fired? What did he do?'
'He jumped off of the roof again'
Sep 22 2002 12:33PM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
haha, i think she turned him into a 'newt' didn't she??? i could be wrong.

'So...if he weighs the same as a duck....then...HE'S A WITCH!!'



______
'You're old enough to know that you won't get a lot of things in life because you don't have tits' - One of the 1/4 pipe builders at snowjam winnipeg to a couple young boys in response to why we'd let 3 girls on the ramp and not them

Don't think just jump.
Sep 22 2002 12:46PM
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Nine_Milla_Killa
Posts: 6783 - Karma: 23
my arm, you cut off my arm!














What is the colour of a mirror?
Sep 22 2002 2:09PM
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Maximumsushi
Posts: 7837 - Karma: 3,347
What is the original ending? I've only seen the arrested one.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-Dan
''Condoms are for pirates! Condoms are for pirates!''
Sep 22 2002 2:45PM
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Drail
Posts: 14011 - Karma: 10,001
'your arm's are gone'

'no they arn't'

'yes they are, look, they're on the ground'

'tiss but a flesh wound, come on now'

'oh what are you going to do bleed on me?'

'kickin', kickin''



yea, what is the original ending? i've only seen the one where they get arrested, it's a great ending.

Darryl Hunt

'Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! Ah fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
Sep 22 2002 2:50PM
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therealjerk
Posts: 2806 - Karma: 26
i wanna know too!

This rant has brought to you in part by the Gomer corporation. Bringing you quality bablings since January.

MC Blowfish: 'Uh-oh, here comes that stupid shark, I better blow up!'
Sep 22 2002 11:14PM
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Line1260
Posts: 1946 - Karma: 14
the french guys in the castle find the holy grail. then they find out that any liquid becomes wonderful wine when in the holy grail. they then drink wine until they have to piss, then piss in the cup and drink the wine again.


'He got fired? What did he do?'
'He jumped off of the roof again'
Sep 23 2002 4:52PM
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hottie_skier_chick
Posts: 5 - Karma: 10
that is da coolest movie itz sooooo funny. if u havent seen it u have to rent it
Sep 23 2002 8:55PM
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lizziebeth
Posts: 1596 - Karma: 22
how do you get this copy with the other ending?

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i love homework. it's my favorite.
Sep 23 2002 9:09PM
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Line1260
Posts: 1946 - Karma: 14
i saw it at a local college campus. its pretty hard to come by in the states, but easier in england i suppose


'He got fired? What did he do?'
'He jumped off of the roof again'
Sep 23 2002 9:58PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
2 words.. KILLER RABBIT


Jodi...'Why don't you close your eyes when you kiss me anymore?'
Doug...'Cause I like looking at myself in your sunglasses.'
Sep 25 2002 3:40PM
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FreshCoast
Posts: 5602 - Karma: 34
3 words: Holy Hand Grenade!
________________________________
Andrew

SUVs Suck!
Sep 25 2002 3:47PM
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lizziebeth
Posts: 1596 - Karma: 22
run away!

********************
i love homework. it's my favorite.
Sep 25 2002 8:44PM
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AppSkier
Posts: 4797 - Karma: 86
its just a flesh wound


'Give us Canada pronto or we will level Toronto.'-Canadian Bacon
Sep 27 2002 4:51PM
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lizziebeth
Posts: 1596 - Karma: 22
and there was much rejoicing... yea.

********************
i love homework. it's my favorite.
Sep 27 2002 5:24PM
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Del-Gato
Posts: 446 - Karma: 10
Help Help! I'm being repressed!
Sep 29 2002 3:48PM
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