compare the size and odour to something so we get a good understanding
Oct 21 2018 10:32AM
satanworshipperthis time i was in Russia. We were getting new tires on my uncle's car, because two tires had popped. The roads were really shitty, that's why. Anyways, there was only one dude in the area that did car repairs, and his place so happened to be in the russian forest.While I was waiting, I squat down, took a vodka bottle out of my adidas tracksuit, and realized i needed to drop a deuce.
I ran into the bushes behind an old van and took the biggest dump ever. Didn't even look human. Looked like some bear took a really big shit.
True story.
Fake news
Oct 8 2019 4:01PM
I gazed around at the unholy mess. What the fuck. I was standing amongst a pool of shit, drenched in sweat, not knowing how to progress from this point. This had to be the lowest point a man reaches before breaking mentally, spiralling into a state of self loathing.
Now your probably wondering how I got here? Let me tell you.
I was around 11, engaging excitedly on a group activity about the amazon rainforest. It was almost the end of the day and my only thoughts were on getting home and smashing my dick to bits, I was an educated 11 year old. We were engaging in a group discussion whereby around 10 of us were surrounding a table, waiting for our turn to speak on the matter. It had got to around the 3rd person when I started to feel a deep disturbance of force inside me. This alarmed me but I surpressed it, as I was up next. However as I started to speak to the large group, I felt a deep bloating of gas that I could track all the way from the stomach, through the intestines and into the rectum. Oh god, it was so painful, I was going to have to let go. I gently eased off the tension on my asshole that had amounted to pressure similar to the hoover dam. Mid sentence, I sharply raised my voice to hide the noise of the escaping gas and released, but it turned out to be the most horrendous plot twist not even shyamalan could have seen coming.
My ass cheeks made a sound that I can equate to when you blow up a balloon, and let it go without tying it, i could literally feel the relapsing of my cheeks coming together. It was not subtle at all, in fact it was almost deafening. And then suddenly something odd happened. Liquid shit started gushing out my exit hole and straight into the basin of my breifs. They could hold a little shit in reserves but at this rate I was going to overflow. I let out a sort of stifled half gulp half gasp mid sentence, it sounded like I was in pain. I looked around at the group, hot faced with a look of desperation and shame. The reactions were a mixture of whispers, laughs and looks of extreme embarrassment on my behalf. But hold on, there was more. A bubbling sensation had begun its journey in my stomach and I knew I had around 1 minute to haul ass to a toilet. I felt a sense of impending doom. That was just the warning shot.
T-40, Without another word I darted out of class, not needing an explanation of the ungodly horror that was about to occur. T- 20, I sprint as fast as I can whilst still clenching my ass cheeks together and I find the nearest toilet. This bathroom was the main one in the center of school. T-10, Luckily, one cubicle was free. I bust in, throw my pants down and launch my fiery feces with what can only be compared to the force of a volcanic eruption. Liftoff. I couldn't believe it. I had so much more! My eyes started flashing lights and I realised that I had pissed all over myself.
After what seemed like hours, I made the irreversibly terrible mistake of looking it, right in the eyes.
It was horrendous, I felt physically sick.
It didn't even look human. The walls were coated in speckled layers of liquid shit, and right in the middle, sitting like a crown jewel was the queen bee. It was bubbly like an aero bar and as long a water bottle. However it wasn't the length that I was now feeling on my ass hole, but the width. My god. What had I created? It was at least as wide as a clenched fist and was staring right back at me. It was truly the most disgusting shit I ever took. Too large to even ooze down the toilet hole.
I eventually stooped back into class after almost passing out. When I walked back in, nobody would look me in the eye. The gravitas of the situation sunk in. I was so ashamed, I never told anyone this story.
Oct 8 2019 4:14PM
LePhantomShitterI gazed around at the unholy mess. What the fuck. I was standing amongst a pool of shit, drenched in sweat, not knowing how to progress from this point. This had to be the lowest point a man reaches before breaking mentally, spiralling into a state of self loathing.Now your probably wondering how I got here? Let me tell you.
I was around 11, engaging excitedly on a group activity about the amazon rainforest. It was almost the end of the day and my only thoughts were on getting home and smashing my dick to bits, I was an educated 11 year old. We were engaging in a group discussion whereby around 10 of us were surrounding a table, waiting for our turn to speak on the matter. It had got to around the 3rd person when I started to feel a deep disturbance of force inside me. This alarmed me but I surpressed it, as I was up next. However as I started to speak to the large group, I felt a deep bloating of gas that I could track all the way from the stomach, through the intestines and into the rectum. Oh god, it was so painful, I was going to have to let go. I gently eased off the tension on my asshole that had amounted to pressure similar to the hoover dam. Mid sentence, I sharply raised my voice to hide the noise of the escaping gas and released, but it turned out to be the most horrendous plot twist not even shyamalan could have seen coming.
My ass cheeks made a sound that I can equate to when you blow up a balloon, and let it go without tying it, i could literally feel the relapsing of my cheeks coming together. It was not subtle at all, in fact it was almost deafening. And then suddenly something odd happened. Liquid shit started gushing out my exit hole and straight into the basin of my breifs. They could hold a little shit in reserves but at this rate I was going to overflow. I let out a sort of stifled half gulp half gasp mid sentence, it sounded like I was in pain. I looked around at the group, hot faced with a look of desperation and shame. The reactions were a mixture of whispers, laughs and looks of extreme embarrassment on my behalf. But hold on, there was more. A bubbling sensation had begun its journey in my stomach and I knew I had around 1 minute to haul ass to a toilet. I felt a sense of impending doom. That was just the warning shot.
T-40, Without another word I darted out of class, not needing an explanation of the ungodly horror that was about to occur. T- 20, I sprint as fast as I can whilst still clenching my ass cheeks together and I find the nearest toilet. This bathroom was the main one in the center of school. T-10, Luckily, one cubicle was free. I bust in, throw my pants down and launch my fiery feces with what can only be compared to the force of a volcanic eruption. Liftoff. I couldn't believe it. I had so much more! My eyes started flashing lights and I realised that I had pissed all over myself.
After what seemed like hours, I made the irreversibly terrible mistake of looking it, right in the eyes.
It was horrendous, I felt physically sick.
It didn't even look human. The walls were coated in speckled layers of liquid shit, and right in the middle, sitting like a crown jewel was the queen bee. It was bubbly like an aero bar and as long a water bottle. However it wasn't the length that I was now feeling on my ass hole, but the width. My god. What had I created? It was at least as wide as a clenched fist and was staring right back at me. It was truly the most disgusting shit I ever took. Too large to even ooze down the toilet hole.
I eventually stooped back into class after almost passing out. When I walked back in, nobody would look me in the eye. The gravitas of the situation sunk in. I was so ashamed, I never told anyone this story.
Did you seriously make an acc just to post this story?
+K
Oct 14 2019 12:29AM
In the hospital last spring 2 weeks in nurse says no more pain meds till you go #2 so halve hour later gave birth to a piece of firewood .Couldn't reach back to wipe cause of rib injury so rang the bell/string and fat Hispanic dude shows up asking what I wanted. I say get the nurse I cant reach far enough so he puts on some gloves and says, lean forward. Ultimate humiliation but I did get a nice fix o dilaudid.
Oct 14 2019 10:40AM