Never failed a piss test, the trick is actually really simple. Just stop smoking weed. Works every time.

realistic answers only

ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only

i normally give whoever collects the pee a blowjob

ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only

It's not realistic for you to quit smoking weed for a piss test?

Lol, have fun failing it then

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Step up and claim your winnings like a man.

The test is tomorrow that is why I put the (without clean pee) part in the title and all of these responses do not answer my question asked above. I am aware the best option would to be to stop smoking but I am in a situation.

Your fucked, the only way to flush out your system is to be constantly drinking water. and if it's within 24 hours by the time you drink enough water to clean out your system there would be able to tell your pee is too much water and not enough actual pee.

My friend had some luck with this one detox product. But frankly, those are expensive and require a few hours of notice.

Just shoot heroin, it gets out of your much quicker

You need an oil change

Drink a fuck ton of water so you fill up too many piss cups for them to handle and you flood the place. Everybody dies. The end.

This topic has been covered multiple times here and all over the internet. Better off searching else where. Good luck.

Buy fake pee? I've had great success 5+ times. Pretty much every head shop sells it

Get clean pee from a friend. Really the only way. There is not a chance in hell, no matter what method you take, that you are going to get the large amounts of thc out of your system in a day. Physically impossible with tripping one of the failsafes on the test. Coming from a kid whose passed 3 and failed 1.

Here is the scientific way to pass the test:

Know your test. Most tests are strip tests. It does not require you be naked, but it is like a pH test strip for your pool. It works by 2 chemicals; the first is your control. Your organic proteins will bind to the strip and turn it red. The second is your detection. The metabolites will bind to this one and cause a reaction that will cancel out the color change, Hence, one bar; your screwed. If metabolites are not present; the second strip will change color. Its a way to prevent false positives. However they do have a threshold limit; 5ug/ml to 50ug/ml.

So obviously, the less metabolites you excrete, the better. THC is stored in the fat. It is released by the body naturally ditching the cell or by burning it off. As fat layers, it has a higher capacity of storing THC. So body mass and metabolism speed and amount consumed are your variables.

Time is everything; the more time is spent not smoking before the test, the higher the success possibility. You can help yourself by shedding a layer of fat, then create a new one that permeates the contaminated one. It takes time, so dont do this if you are in a hurry. Work out hard and burnt fat, then just eat fatty food and dont do shit. It will lower your concentration in the blood.

Next is dilution. This one is hard. Remember the control strip I was talking about? This one too plays a role in detecting someone is trying to fool the test by adding water to the bladder. By experience, it works, but keep in mind your variables. If you have excess water in the urine, you will not have sufficient proteins to bond to the strip.

Last is how you take the test. Urine salts are more concentrated at the beginning, then lowers. At the end of the piss, salts rise again. Take your test in the mid process, it would be the better chance.

Good luck

I'll sell you some of my piss. Can guarantee you, it won't come up positive for weed. Although other drugs not so much

at this point your best bet is to pull a blake from workaholics and take as many drugs as possible before your test so when everything shows up they'll assume the tester fucked up

pure cranberry juice(not the cocktail, or cranberry juice that has a ton of sugar in it.) drink a ton of it. can pass within 3 days of not smoking. Be prepared to spend most of those three days in the bathroom. Another option is one of those urine masking kits, but they're usually about $20 or so.

my friend had someone with clean piss pee in a condom and tie it up. when he went to take the test he just pulled it out like it was his dick and poked a hole in the tip with a tack and it worked, he still works there.

Just do an oil change

ColeLaCrackThe test is tomorrow that is why I put the (without clean pee) part in the title and all of these responses do not answer my question asked above. I am aware the best option would to be to stop smoking but I am in a situation.

this is bullshit, you probably don't even smoke weed

Drink bleach

fresh_princethis is bullshit, you probably don't even smoke weed

That's what the lady collecting my piss thought today too

If anyone wants to know know to pass for future reference all you have to do is find someone with clean piss and have them pee in a travel shampoo bottle. Next Step get some big elastics and secure it to le gooch, then put on compression shorts to keep it at a temp between 90-100.

It's piss not rocket science..definitely way easier than a lot you thought

Granite_StateGet clean pee from a friend. Really the only way. There is not a chance in hell, no matter what method you take, that you are going to get the large amounts of thc out of your system in a day. Physically impossible with tripping one of the failsafes on the test. Coming from a kid whose passed 3 and failed 1.

.

St.josephmy friend had someone with clean piss pee in a condom and tie it up. when he went to take the test he just pulled it out like it was his dick and poked a hole in the tip with a tack and it worked, he still works there.

your friend is a fucking genius

your only options:

1. clean pee from a friend in a ballon/condom/bag. you likely aren't getting a test that will temp it (provided it's for a low level job or something; didn't read the thread) so you should be alright if it's semi close to body temp.

2. drink a shit ton of water and botch the results. they will call you in for a retest within a couple of days so then resort to option 1.

Big_Spence2. drink a shit ton of water and botch the results. they will call you in for a retest within a couple of days so then resort to option 1.

Remember to catch mid stream if you can. I've had to do some tests where they actually put plastic wrap on the bowl so you can't pee into it. Another thing you can do(original reason for quoting this) is Dilute it with warm water.

get a green card...

talk to these guys

Need to pass a piss test?

Well Urine Luck.

Squirrel_MurphyNeed to pass a piss test?

Well Urine Luck.

lol

Op is screwed. Have fun in jail, stoner

Drink yoir own piss. The second round of filtration cleanses out any traces of thc.

.Hugo.You need an oil change

i came here to say that haha i love blue mountain state such a hilarious series.

steezy_dogei came here to say that haha i love blue mountain state such a hilarious series.

Whats that? Ive never heard of it

.Hugo.Whats that? Ive never heard of it

if your not trolling...

its a T.V show its on netflix, its about a college football team and there is an episode where they have to do an oil change to pass a urine test.

steezy_dogeif your not trolling...

its a T.V show its on netflix, its about a college football team and there is an episode where they have to do an oil change to pass a urine test.

nope never heard of it. i just thought it made sense

Blue mountain state looks pretty dumb. Never saw it though. Just judging books by covers

theabortionatorBlue mountain state looks pretty dumb. Never saw it though. Just judging books by covers

It's extremeley dumb, that's what makes it funny.

steezy_dogeIt's extremeley dumb, that's what makes it funny.

I could get down with that

oil change via.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcvs4n_blue-mountain-state-oil-change-by-t_fun

UglyboyI'll sell you some of my piss. Can guarantee you, it won't come up positive for weed. Although other drugs not so much

dude you take hard drugs ??? you're soooo cool !

drink a shit load of water

poop in the cup. it's drug free and they won't be able to tell the difference

So... Did you pass?

Pee packet at a head shop.

Has anyone personally or know anyone that has had luck with detox drinks they sell for around $20?

ColeLaCrackrealistic answers only

Get some piss from a homie and before you go in and just spit it in the cup...

brett_fisherGet some piss from a homie and before you go in and just spit it in the cup...

yea just have like a small container/jar of it in your pocket, then boom pour it in once you "use the restroom"

shin-bangyea just have like a small container/jar of it in your pocket, then boom pour it in once you "use the restroom"

or that :|