Upon learning of European snowfalls tinted orange by Saharan dust, Donald Trump vowed to keep American snow white at all costs. Speaking after his landslide victory in the New Hampshire primary, Trump announced that if elected, he would build a wall in the sky to prevent said dust from diluting the purity of American snow. "Good, hard-working, American snow should always be white" he told a rapturous audience "I don't hold with other colors. I'll do everything in my power to keep them out".
Seriously, tinted snow in the Alps is a thing. Photo: Andi Jacomet,
Critics have pointed out the insanity of building a wall in the sky, that Saharan dust would rarely, if ever, reach the United States and that blocking air currents would in any case do untold damage to the country. But Trump was resolute, "I don't actually know where the Sahara is but it clearly isn't white and that makes it dangerous" he later said, "nobody builds walls better than me, physics is no obstacle". Claims that Trump's policies could be called "colorist" have also been shot down: "Is it colorist to keep America safe?" he was heard to respond to one such question, "Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of colored snow entering the United States".