Following is the instruction manual for a solid ski day. Do as the instructions say and your day will go smoothly, guaranteed.

Awaken. Do not be hung over whether that means not going hard the night before or just being tough. Be in shape, as trivial as that seems it is of great importance. You don’t want to have any season enders today and working out in advance will seriously diminish the possibility of that happening. Next, eat a solid breakfast. As serial killer Mr. Rogers once said, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” You don’t want to disagree with him so just make a nutritious breakfast. Also, drink some coffee if you’re into that. If you don’t have $100-$200 laying around, you may want to pack a lunch. Fruit snacks are a must. Stash your lunch within the multitude of pockets that Saga put on your jacket and then pack up all of your gear. I mean ALL of it. Forgetting a boot or glove is indescribably painful so it may be a good idea to make a checklist of some sort. Once driving, be sure to play some kickin’ tunes to catalyst your stoke. This would also be a good time to bust out some water bottles. Dehydration can ruin your day with a serious headache which would make your heavy-head punishing. That being said, depending on your drive time you may need to stop to urinate. I would suggest draining next to a babbling brook as it will help you get acquainted with nature before you ski in it. It also provides good bonding time between friends.

Once you arrive at the base, do some stretches. I know what you’re thinking, “I’m pretty much indestructible. Stretching is for old dudes so… you know whatever.” Old dudes have gotten it right though, stretching will greatly reduce the likelihood of a season ender. After you finish your down dogs and sun salutations, you are finally ready to ski!

Begin skiing. The most important part of this step is that you have fun. People are beginning to forget to do so but it is the key to a good ski day and the best way to progress. If you are enjoying your day on the mountain, the tricks will come a million times easier. Compliment your friends on their style. Receive compliments on your style. Continue having fun. Keep in mind that falling is how we progress, it shouldn’t be embarrassing so try for any trick you want no matter who is watching.

At the end of the day grab some candy or hot chocolate or a beer because you deserve it. Your ride home should be filled with chill music and good vibes. Maybe stop at the babbling brook again to pee. If you have a hot tub in your car do that too. Just be sure to relax.

Once at home, leave everything in your car. It is the only way to acquire the pungent moldy smell we all love so much. Now, start snacking. It is the only way to end a good day of skiing so make sure you are stocked beforehand. When you feel like it, get ready for bed. Take a shower, brush your teeth and kiss your roommates goodnight. Then rest those weary bones.


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