Original Photoshop: Nico Vuignier @nicovuignier
Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has vowed to make freeskiing great again. Citing failing infrastructure, the lack of 12’ halfpipes, rusty rails and squabbling upper resort management, Trump has promised to bring freeskiing back to its former glory. At a campaign stop in Summit County, Colorado, Trump addressed a large crowd of generally rich, obnoxious park rats. “Gapers have terrorized us long enough, rolling over our lips and blowing up in our landings,” Trump said as the crowd cheered, continuing, “Women, Children, Men - they all show no regard for human life. They’re savages, they’re dangerous, and we need to keep them out.”
Criticized by other candidates, Trump's immigration plan would require all gapers to wear ID badges, while construction begins on a wall intended to stop the foreign invader "El Nino." “I don’t even know what El Nino means, but it sounds foreign, and it sounds bad.” Trump boldly claimed.