Hi I’m Landon Spear.  You may remember me from such Jibij updates

as: Around the World in 101 days (part 1), Around the World in 101 days (part

2), Smokey the Bear We Hardly Knew Ye and Hobo Hunting: a Fun but Illegal

Pastime.  (okay those last two haven’t

happened yet)  And so, after a delay

between sequels that would make George Lucas jealous… I welcome you to the

third and final installment of my epic journey around the world in 101

days.  *thunderous applause* In the last

two installments we saw deserts, mountains, Chinese people (over 16?), Japanese

schoolgirls, back flips off pyramids and ancient ruins, Egyptian hookahs,

Japanese midgets and me… awesome, awesome me. 

Now here is the thrilling conclusion of this awesomely spectacular

trilogy.  Awesome…

TURKEY!!

Welcome to motherf!@#ing Istanbul!!

The party capital of the

Bosphorus.  In one word I would describe

this place as dope.  Two words?  Totally dope.  East meets west.  The only

country to span two continents.  The

city of hookahs, tea and Turkish coffee. 

Big bridges and an awesome night scene. 

Mosques, churches, Jesus, Mohammed, it’s all good baby.

This is the Hagia Sophia.  Used to be a church, got ransacked a few

times, turned to a Mosque, then back again. 

It’s red, it’s got towers, it’s cool… Lets move on

Underground water storage crazy

place.  Kinda looks like a level from

Tomb Raider.

This is what the new Jibij

corporate jet will look like.

This was going to be an excellent

picture… Until I realized his gun was pointing right at my face.  Then it became more excellent.

We took a plane from Istanbul to

Trabzon.  Through a combination of

Turkish airline food and the excitement I felt when I saw the snow on these

mountains (which was the first snow I’d seen so far) that I nearly sharted

myself.

This is Trabzon. 

This is the Sumela Monastery.  It started as a Christian monastery back in

the 300’s when they carved that bitch out of the mountainside. 

Next we headed out to Erzerum

because we heard there was skiing there. 

The resort is called Pallendoken and a few pro skiers went there last

year (I’m not saying who) but I do know that I was there first.  How do I know that?  Despite our honest-looking Turkish

bus-driver’s best assurances, we were, in fact, one week early for the ski

season.  So, while the hotel was quite

empty and cheap, there was nothing much to do besides check out mosques, hang

with the local kids and get a haircut from a bald Turkish man.

Apparently Eva Longoria has a

second career modeling for Turkish chocolate ads.  That’s hot.

CROATIA!!

The next country on this journey is

Croatia.  These pictures were taken just

outside Split in a national park. 

What did John Travolta yell to

Quentin Tarantino in Pulp Fiction when Uma Thurman was ODing on the floor?

GET THE SHOT!!

This is a swan… or something.

Croatian graffiti.

Keepin it gangsta on top of the

scariest tower I’ve ever climbed. 

Seriously, the metal stairway was only connected with a few bolts that

looked like they were put in about the same time as silent movies became popular.

BOSNIA!!

This is Sarajevo.  Perhaps you remember it from the news a few

years ago.  Unless you live in a

cardboard box behind Blockbuster with no TV, internet, money or self respect.  In which case, how are you reading this

update?  Also, get a job!

This is opening day at the Bosnian

Olympic ski resort.  Yes, the Olympics

were in Yugoslavia in 1984.  Shortly

before it divided into ethnic centered nations and they all started genociding

each other.  This resort is about the

size of Eldora.  (Colorado skiers should

be laughing now)  However, unlike

Eldora, on this so very glorious of opening days there was waist deep powder

everywhere.

Yes, I’m skiing in jeans.  With rental boots, no ski socks.  And rental Fischer racing skis from the late

90’s.  And no goggles.  Booyah.

My friend Canada eating it.

My turn.

Despite all that, there are no

excuses on a powder day.  GTS baby.

She’s jealous.

Like many buildings in Bosnia and

especially Sarajevo, this building was still covered in bullet holes from the

Yugoslav civil war in the 90’s. 

Our boat, back in Dubrovnik,

Croatia.

SPAIN!!

This building just didn’t look the

same without Natalie Portman walking around with R2-D2.

Spainish graffiti. (yes that’s an

intentional misspelling of Spanish)

If I was her, I’d be a lot more

scared of that Spanish soul-stealing robot pirate.

First person to name which Tony

Hawk game this level is from gets a coupon for five high-fives from me,

redeemable at any time.

Word.

Artsy, I know.

[IM

This is the Sagrada Familia.  AAAAAH 

AAH AAAAAAH AAAAAH OOOOH (chanting monk sounds)

Then I saw FCBacelona kick some ass

in a sold out 100,000 person stadium.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!

Epic quad-kink. 

Four words:  Spanish people can freaking party.

Gotta make sure the Spanish know

what’s up with energy drinks.

Coming back to America.

MIAMI!

Where the buildings are big and

boobs are bigger.  Also coke.

If I had any doubts whether I had

actually gone all the way around the world, this car dealer made damn sure I

knew I was back in America.  And so, I

flew back to Colorado where the ski season was already underway, it being late

December and all.

So the first thing I did was take a

trip across I-80 and the rest of Wyoming to Jackson Hole.

JACKSON!!!

More face shots than Jenna Jameson.

Back to KEYSTONE!!

Gotta round this baby out somehow.

Your local skydiving dentist Mr.

Tommy Rowe.

Well kids, that’s all for this

adventure.  Join us this season for more

Jibtastic updates and wackier shenanigans than you will find on anybody else’s

updates.  I will leave you now with a

few words of advice.

Always stretch

Party hard

Fly straight

Pray for snow.  Until it gets here.  Then, GO SKIING!!!


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