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April, 2024

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She "doesnt want a boyfriend"? i need help from the ladies

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c-wayne
Posts: 253 - Karma: 906
long story short, met this girl at work through mutual friends, she got my number and we hit it off. Same personalities (very outgoing and fun) same interests and she snowboards wich is also a huge plus. We hung out a few times over the past 3 weeks and hooked up alot but didnt have sex. shes a virgin and doesnt really talk to many guys it seemed like for the most part, and so she sais, but she always seemed to have a shitton of dudes texting her. In all honesty, i usually play my cards really tight with girls but i felt like everything between us was perfect so i kinda started to really like her. She had been texting me nonstop and always willing to hangout anytime. Then last saturday she tells me (randomly) that shed lost feelings for us being together and she really had to tell me. I was dumbfounded because everything betwen us was flawless and perfect (so i thought). I asked why and she said she didnt really want a boyfriend anymore because she was scared it "wouldnt be worth her time, and she might get hurt" wich i initially thought was a bunch of bs.

So we decided to hang again after that and things were different when we did. She wasnt as fun, and wasnt as into me it seemed. I talked to her about it and she told me the same things as sunday and that it wasnt another guy and that it was "just her and not me" So then 3 days ago we end it because she said shes not ready for a bf and wants to just be friends.

So, i know this is not lm but what the fuck? Im so mad. what we had was amazing, like we clicked perfectly and everything was amazing and she like decided to blow it off.

So we havnt really talked since we broke it off, 2 days ago she texted me and i gave her short answers and she stopped texting me after a few short answers.

How should i handle this? We had something amazing and for some reason she didnt care or see it. I dont wanna be the one to text/call her first because i feel like she should be the one to come to me and fix things. Why would she not want what we had? And do you think i should wait a few days and then talk to her if she doesnt talk to me or what?
Apr 6 2012 8:02PM
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maynaiseman
Posts: 1088 - Karma: 129
She's pretty much saying you have a small dick
Apr 6 2012 8:06PM
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shorty_T
Posts: 2725 - Karma: 761
I hate to say it but.... welcome to the friend zone.
Apr 6 2012 8:08PM
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1337
Posts: 31039 - Karma: 29,013
If she's not feeling it, well, there isn't much you can do man. It sucks, but it happens :\
Apr 6 2012 8:08PM
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saskskierftw
Posts: 898 - Karma: 62
Ummm, ask a girl cult
Apr 6 2012 8:08PM
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Keenan_Jones
Posts: 436 - Karma: 175
get over it.. simple as that... she's not into you.
Apr 6 2012 8:09PM
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c-wayne
Posts: 253 - Karma: 906
but we hooked up a bunch, how did i get here? and what would make her not want me as a bf being we were perfect together
Apr 6 2012 8:09PM
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J_Christoph
Posts: 2519 - Karma: 8,750
keep living your life...and if she comes back into it she comes back into it
Apr 6 2012 8:10PM
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saskskierftw
Posts: 898 - Karma: 62
Maybe you don't know her as well as you thought you did..
Apr 6 2012 8:11PM
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1337
Posts: 31039 - Karma: 29,013
#womenlogic
Apr 6 2012 8:11PM
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TheHundreds
Posts: 330 - Karma: 10
hahahahahahahahahahahahha... oh god this is great!
Apr 6 2012 8:13PM
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The_Big_Tuna
Posts: 799 - Karma: 75
When in doubt, whip it out.
Apr 6 2012 8:20PM
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tripnip
Posts: 1882 - Karma: 482
there is no explanation to getting in the friend zone just the fact that you are in it. there is probably no way out.
Apr 6 2012 8:21PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
pretty much sums it up right there
Apr 6 2012 8:25PM
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Lucas
Posts: 4877 - Karma: 1,520
Ignore her
Apr 6 2012 8:31PM
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e_strapp
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 212
Fuck the friend zone
Apr 6 2012 8:32PM
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[hamnuts]
Posts: 2356 - Karma: 439
she's not worth your time
Apr 6 2012 8:36PM
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Puzzled
Posts: 4267 - Karma: 4,448
This. Girls want you most when they can't have you.
Apr 6 2012 8:36PM
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c-wayne
Posts: 253 - Karma: 906
this is what im starting to convince myself, like we coulda had something great but stressing over this has hurt more than been good. I guess im gonna let her start our convos from now on and then go from there. Or should i just be done alltogether?
Apr 6 2012 8:38PM
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grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175
get rejected...post it on newschoolers
Apr 6 2012 8:43PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,535
Get into this mindset, and just ignore the fuck out of her that is all you can do at this point. Act like you're better than her anyway. And when I say ignore I mean no texting or facebooking or any of that jazz. If you see her in person give her some attention but give more attention to others around you two. Get the upperhand back, and still at this point she may just not want you and you have to just be whatever about it. Or she will fucking be all over you because of how much you ignored her.

It's all about the upperhand man, and at some point you lost it. Always keep the upperhand.
Apr 6 2012 8:49PM
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Mtougas
Posts: 870 - Karma: 77
Just start playing your cards with other girls or wait it out. If she wants to be with you, she will come to you because she now knows how you feel since you made that quite clear. There is nothing more you can do. Just move on. Again, if she wants to be with you, she will come to you.
Apr 6 2012 8:51PM
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thenightman
Posts: 766 - Karma: 132
do this, you have nothing to loose, at least go out with a bang


Apr 6 2012 8:58PM
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taylornicky
Posts: 2889 - Karma: 2,579
This. And if she ends up actually being worth your time, things will find a way to work out. Let her text you or call you or whatever, but at the same time, don't be waiting around for her to talk to you. She seems up to something, so just let it be. I'm sorry, bud. I know you don't want to hear it, but move on.
Apr 6 2012 9:02PM
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Mr.Luke
Posts: 2441 - Karma: 166
Dude there's definitely more to her than you think. There's some reason she doesn't want to date you.

Here's a few reasons why she potentially doesn't want/can't date you:

1. Another guy, and she doesn't want to tell you (I doubt it)

2. She genuinely got scared. She thought things through, and didn't want to commit to anything. Women are weird, I've seen this happen

3. She heard something about you from a co-worker or a friend of hers that knows you. Women will believe ANYTHING (I also doubt this)

4. Family problems. Any family problems could make her upset and not want to focus on guys and focus on her family

5. (What I really think it is) She didn't have as strong feelings for you as you did her. I've had this happen, and seen it happen many times. Often known as "The Friend Zone" but a little different. You'll have that sexual connection, but really no more feelings besides friendship after that. For most women, they need a relationship that consists of trust, deep connection, sex or anything having to do with sex, and friendship. You were missing 2/4 pieces my friend! It just didn't work out.

Maybe in a while she'll want a relationship. Talk to her, don't ignore her and be immature about it. You've got this.
Apr 6 2012 9:05PM
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oil.
Posts: 2255 - Karma: 1,254
stick with it dude. women are mad confusing, maybe in a bit shell want it!
Apr 6 2012 9:15PM
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SpookyCat
Posts: 1232 - Karma: -2,617
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Apr 6 2012 9:19PM
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fucking_you_hard
Posts: 59 - Karma: -5
hahaha, girls ALWAYS want a boyfriend. if a girl says to you that she doesn't, that means she doesn't want YOU as a boyfriend.
Apr 6 2012 9:22PM
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The_Big_Tuna
Posts: 799 - Karma: 75
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Apr 6 2012 9:42PM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
tl;dr;th
Apr 6 2012 9:47PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
i dont want a boyfriend = you aren't good enough to be my boyfriend.

if a girl digs ya, she wont friend zone you, and wont say shit like that. "oh you're too nice, you deserve someone better", "oh i just dont want this right now". fuck that. girls aren't logical. they are very emotionally driven. even if she DOESNT need a guy right now, she'll go for someone she's into. unfortunately, that clearly isn't you.

move along.

in fact, sometimes just flipping 180 and not talking to her can work in your favor. girls are crazy like that. when they have you on the hook and know that you're clearly into them, they don't want you. but as soon as you stop feeding them attention and just do your own thing, they realize "holy fuck, i want that guy back.."

give it a try. just cut her off. if she doesn't like you, she'll stay cut off. but if she, deep down, is interested in you, she'll realize that she wants you back in her life now that you've had some time away.

trust me.

listen to what i say, or you'll pay. (lolshootermcgavinquote)
Apr 6 2012 9:48PM
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Mr.DarthVader
Posts: 1322 - Karma: 556
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Apr 6 2012 9:54PM
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JamesR
Posts: 3396 - Karma: -12
What did you like about her besides the fact that she had similar hobbies and hooked up with you? Those things are nice, but they're not what make relationships.
Apr 6 2012 9:55PM
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,658
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Apr 6 2012 9:59PM
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.R-Lohin
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 117
This isnt all true. Some girls like 'The thrill of the chase'. Once you stop liking her and talking to her she might decide to comeback and do it all over again leading you into thinking that she likes you but shooting you down in the end.

Ive had this happen to me once, total dick move.
Apr 6 2012 10:02PM
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Thadius.Castle
Posts: 1436 - Karma: 250
If it really is a lost cause start texting everyone and start a rumor that she's loose as hell. It has to be done.

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Apr 6 2012 10:11PM
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NPCPLUS
Posts: 162 - Karma: -155
Yeah this
Apr 6 2012 10:11PM
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paige.
Posts: 1930 - Karma: 907
I'd say it's a combination of 2 and 5. She's a virgin who doesn't have a lot of relationship experience. You were making it very evident that you wanted it to be serious and she panicked and got out.

Likely she's attracted to you and likes you well enough as a person. But when you're coming at it from the 'we're perfect for each other' angle when she's been seeing you as someone she can have fun with she's going to get overwhelmed and friendzone you rather than having to sort out how she actually feels.
Apr 6 2012 10:16PM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
Cowboy up and win her like a man. All any girl wants is to be won. All you have to do is make it clear you want her, be persistent, without being pathetic. Obviously she likes you, she probably just wants to be single, so convince her otherwise by being the best man around. And dont listen to all these negative nancys, if you really like a girl you should never just give up, work for it until shes yours or you get tired of her.
Apr 6 2012 10:26PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
Get with her mom
Apr 6 2012 10:29PM
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J_Christoph
Posts: 2519 - Karma: 8,750
when she sees youre done trying for her she will come running back
Apr 6 2012 10:30PM
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shocker611
Posts: 2599 - Karma: 423
honestly dude, just let it go as a random hookup, whats so bad about that. Had the same thing happen to me, I realized pretty early she was driftin away, told her it was awkward and that we should just do our own thing. And man am I happy I did, cause the next week was spring break and that woulda SUCKED if I had a girl to worry about. In the end, seriously just think of her as a random hookup and go find yourself another one
Apr 6 2012 10:31PM
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Uah
Posts: 1104 - Karma: 176
Step 1. Meet other girls
Step 2. Get pictures taken 'with' said girls
Step 3. Post on facebook
Step 4. She sees you as a preselected alpha male
Step 5. ???????????????????????
Step 6. Profitable Results
Apr 6 2012 10:31PM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
This is so relevant to my current girl situation, it made me...


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Apr 6 2012 10:33PM
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ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
NSG you're slacking off... Pee in her butt
Apr 6 2012 10:39PM
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Yeezy
Posts: 1652 - Karma: 206
this
Apr 6 2012 10:43PM
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crieschl
Posts: 644 - Karma: 108
Like several other people have said, ignore her. maybe every once in a while throw her a bone and have a short convo, maybe like once every 2 weeks on average. And if she starts texting you first everyday, and you think things can maybe get started again, ask her right away if she's looking to be friends or if something could develop. If she is ready for a relationship, well, then there ya go. If she says she just wants friendship and not looking for anything more anytime soon, you can try and hang out with her, and if she's awkward while you're hanging out, leave her alone for good. If you decide you don't want to go down the friendship road all together, than break it off right away.
Apr 6 2012 10:47PM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
cracks me up how so many guys have these complex plan on how to get women, when all you really need to do is cowboy up and win her. Romance the hell out of her, all any girl wants is to be won. Show her how good of a man you are and she will want you
Apr 6 2012 10:48PM
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TallTeeNation
Posts: 903 - Karma: 340
say ok and dont text her for a week and if she texts you, reply with short messages luke k and ya, but never show tillyiur interested and soon my friend you will leave thw cold dark place known as the friend zone
Apr 6 2012 11:01PM
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RawrRawrRob
Posts: 1841 - Karma: 685
amen
Apr 6 2012 11:34PM
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chardi
Posts: 5040 - Karma: 59
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Apr 6 2012 11:37PM
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