Worst Sex Experience????

or so i was told the next morning.

Ok, here we go:

Basically the same thing has happened to me around 5 times (should really see someone about it).
The First:
I had just started once more talking to a girl that I really liked back in school, as we were now old enough I invited her up to the local pub for a drink and a chat. Skipping all the boring parts, we ended up at my mates house who's parents were away for the week. For some unknown reason to me we ventured into my friends mum and dads room. Now at this point i'd had a few drinks but not a lot. I was at the stage where your just horny as fuck! I was nailing this bird probably harder than I had done to anyone previously. After I came and went to the toilet to clean up. Turned on the light and looked down to see my dick covered in blood! I thought to myself "The bitch, she is fucking on and she didn't tell me" I cleaned up and soon discovered it was me that was bleeding not her (I had torn my banjo string, thats what we call it in the UK dont know about America but i'm sure you get what happened). I walked back in the room and said girl says to me "Matt I think we have a problem" I turn on the light and it looks like a slaughter house, literally it looked like i'd cut a goats neck in some sought of pagan sacrafice. So I swollowed my pride and went down stairs and told my friend I had just destroyed his mums best linen, to which he replied "oh, just stick them in the washing machine" Legend!
I was talking to the girl the other day and this story cropped up in conversation, I find it quite funny and so does she. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

The second:
So this was about a year ago while I am in Australia. Me and my 5 friends who I was travelling with all worked as fruit pickers until I realised I hated it and got a new job. Now my new job gave me a few days off in the week. So, one day im sitting in the common room when this smoking hottie walks past just in her bikini (i'm not even joking, she had the tightest little package, toned great bum the works) She goes and sits by the pool. After about an hour I finally pluck up the courage to go talk to her. It turns out she is German. Anyway a little bit of flirting and messing about turns into me getting pushed into the pool fully clothed. She hooks her legs round my waist and well....I do what any good sex pest does, I reach down the back of her bikini bottoms and start having a feel of that amazing ass. We end up getting out of the pool and sneak off to my room. We rip off each others clothes (well bikini) and jump into my top bunk. I start by giving a bit of oral, (the old tongue tornado and the triple shocker come into play) she then pulls me up to her face and flips me onto my back. She slowly starts kissing my chest then stomach until.....jackpot! She continues giving me head and massaging it with her hand at the same time, until she yanks down a little too hard. This time it stung a little bit but still wasn't as bad as I thought it would. My dick literally erupts into; well imagine a whale coming up for air in a sea of blood and he uses his blow hole to expel the excess water, that was like my dick. The girl is a bit taken back, but what happened next will live in my mind forever. She carried on giving me head! I'm not even kidding when I say this, the blood was dripping from the corner of her mouth. It started to drip onto her tits and stomach and she was rubbing it into herself. In all honesty, I let her carry on, in some sick way I was slightly turned on. I called my friends at work an told them I had a funny story for when they got back, but as they were bored they made me tell them over the phone. I could hear them choking down the phone probably close to throwing up. HAHA

You got to love travelling!

okay you have a problem with your wanker starting to bleed uncontrobly..but im still confused...whats the banjo string thing?

We don't get circumsized here in UK (well most people) and it is a bit of skin that goes from the tip of your bell end and attaches the foreskin.

ooo okay that makes more sense. Damn thats roouugh.

Wouldn't say that was my worst sex, but there was just something about it that completely grossed me the fuck out.

wow... please get your pecker checked out... but atleast you got your d sucked even when something to the equivilent of a manstration... 

First time drunk in a closet with a fat chick. =) Yeeee get it done!

My worst experience (not really a sex experience) was, I woke up with a hard dick, like many mornings. Still hard, I stand up in bed, but I was super tired, and just fell forward on my dick. I heard a crack, and was super concerned, so Im going around tweaking the fuck out. Turned out I was alright though.

funnest thing iv ever heard hahahaah

A guy on my floor had morning wood and he tripped and feel and did "break" his dick. Had to go to the doctor and everything.

too funny haha

ah shitty dude. what the fuck would they do for that? it would just be like tissue damaage wouldnt it?

yea basically, but it is called a "break"

just dont try to shove into a girls ass real quick. damn



jkkzzz.... but no seriously.

yay! my threads!

worst experience hmmm:

1. Girls weird fantasy to have sex on a tennis court. so we go to one outdoors during summer only to have my ass eaten alive by mosquitos

2. Eating a girl out and have her let out the biggest queef, she laughed, i didnt.

3. Whiskey dick, need i say more?

its been awhile im sure you guys have more stories...

lol

drunk dick aka whiskey dick has to be the most embarissing thing ever, so now, i keep a cialis on hand just like having a condomn, it solves that problem and than some, 36 hr boner like your 14 again is always great in my book! i don care i just said it, whhhaaat!!

i dont have any truly awful stories but ive found myself countless times getting so shitfaced i cant finish and just passing out after an hour or two. the girl usually understands and we finish the business in the morning.

getting my dick sucked....

.... you didnt like getting your dick sucked because it was a girl?l or because it was a girl who wasnt good at giving head?

she did all the right things, seemed like the makings of an excellent blowjob to me... but idk, women are friends not hookups.

I thought you might be implying that. And thats awesome you should've got her reaction on tape hahaha

troll

not legit. your stories are messed up. was it at a beach or in a house? because im pretty sure that beaches arent multi leveled