Worst Sex Experience????

that is by far the best thread on NS in my mind

+K for posting that one up

do you mind if i sig this?

You sound a bit trashy. El.Gato would not like you.

so one time i was fucking my bitch n my dog came n fucking bit my leg... now my dog is a fucking put bull so that shit dragged me across my fucking house wile i was naked for like 10 mins n my girl left

wait your fuck buddy sat by you while his cousin fucked you while he jacked off?!? this is fucking disgusting, were you in the deep south? all three of you should be thrown in jail for incest

surreeeeeeeeeeee...................

Always better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

One time I was sexing up this girl real girl and when I went to bust something felt funny, I realized I was busting a nut full of fire, needless to say that bitch got burned (DOUBLE ENTANDRE!!!)

1. having really really awesome drunk sex, then repeating it again sober, and having it SUCKKKK

2. spending five days in someone else's bed, and having them pass the fuck out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

What is it with little kids and shitty stories?

really really werid

bahahah go for it, i dont mind :P

whoah.

Best story.

i love how girls think it's their fault, it's just a natural fact of life when we're drunk it's nigh on impossible to cum. don't take it personally.

thats hot

i would add to this thread but i still can't afford it...

Well here's one that happened not to long ago.

So there was this girl that I had hooked up with once before once that decided to come over and drink. My roomate started to give her drinks, and I started giving her drinks not knowing really that my roomate was giving her drinks. Needless to say she got pretty drunk. We're watching Cool Runnings and my roomate and another friend that come over go in the kitchen. The girl just gets on top of me and we start making out. My friend comes into the room and sees it and starts laughing so he gets my roomate to film on his iPhone me making out with her, while he stands behind and starts slapping her hard in the ass intentionally in the most awkward way possible. I started laughing. (Maybe I can get the footage up from my roomate) A little later i get up and walk back into the kitchen wher ethey went after and start laughing about it.
I go back into the living room and she's not there. So I walk into my room which is open and she's just laying there naked. She managed to do this pretty quickly somehow. So I just go for it. She starts like yelling and moaning to the point where my friend and roomate just leave, and they can her her from the middle of he road still. We do this for awhile and eventually I see blinking lights. It's a paramedic truck. I keep going. Then i hear a knock on the house door. I keep going. I hear another knock on the door. I stop, look out my window sneakily to see a paramedic knocking on the door. As I'm looking out the window the girls saying "Don't worry about it, don't worry about it". so i go back at it. She continues to make noise, and then i hear another knock, except this one's on my room door. "Hello, is anyone in there!" I hear. I then proceed to quickly get up and put on pants and open the door. FIVE paramedics somehow broke into my house and were standing outside of my bedroom door.
"Hello?" I say, stunned
"Is anyone in this apartment?" one of the paramedics said
"Well, I'm in the apartment"
The paramedics kinda look at each other, realizing what's going on.
"Well we got a phonecall from a mom saying that their son needed to go to the hospital. Is this apartment 30A?"
"No, this is apartment 30. 30A is upstairs"
"Oh"
So all the paramedics walk through my house out the backdoor and I follow.
"Is everything okay?" i ask.
"Yeah it's fine, he already left"
They didnt even check to see if he was there or not, they just said that. So I go back in and continue the deed while still thinking WTF just happened. Then she got on top and fell backwards while getting everything wet and fell asleep.
I got dressed and went back in the living room to see my other roomate and his 6 friends came over to smoke. So we ended up ordering pasta bread bowls from Dominoes.
Next morning she gets up and wonders why everythings wet, knowing full well she's what they call a "squirter". I barely talk to her and she leaves, taking her fucking baby dog she brought with her in a carriage that I made sure stayed in the living room because teh first time she came over she put the dog in my room and it shit on my floor and pissed on the bed.

Here's a pic of my friend who slapped her ass, holding the dog.

My threads if there are any interesting story.. anymore!

This story isn't mine thank god... but its a great one.

Epic.

haha eppic story thank you sir.. thank you 

i did hear one story about a girl who had her overies removed. first the doctor left some surgical tool in there so they had to do another operation to get it out. 8 weeks later she was fucking her boyfriend. the lights were out so it was nice and dark. it started to burn him  after a while.he asked her if it was hurting her. she said no but he thought she just could be really tight from the surgury. he kept on going untill he was in pain. he turned on the lights to see what was wrong and there was blood every where. the blood wasnt hers though. apperently his dick had been running up and down a fucking staple the entire time. the staple was from the second surgury. his dick now has perminate pin strip running up and down it.

This one time I was fucking this chick. I was really drunk, and this chick was pretty uh, "sexually liberated" if you know what I mean. So, I've never really had the urge to do anal before. I've even flat out been offered and turned it down. But for some reason, something to do with massive amounts of alcohol, I had just this tiny inkling. I think it was because the sex wasn't going so well and I was getting bored. So in an attempt to save it, I put my finger in her ass. At first I'm just poking around a little, but she didn't seem to care, so i got the whole finger in there, and I start fingering her asshole while I'm doing her. So she seems to be enjoying it right, or at least she isn't stopping me, so I pull out, line everything up, and boom! put it in her ass. Now, this whole lining everything up takes a good 5 seconds of me fucking around knocking on the back door, so she had to have known it was coming. Nevertheless, as soon as I'm in there, she yelps, bolts to the other side of the bed, does this somersault thing, and actually falls off the bed.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I have no gag reflex and I Soo want to be able to skull open throat greta skill haha

wanna hook up?

hahahahahahha.  i rarely LOL while reading threads, but you made it happen.

shitty if you're serious.

alright so I was visiting my girl last semester and brought three 30racks for 2nights. Well turns out the kids that goto this school are huge pussies and drink tons of wine and smirinoff and that girly pussy shit so I basically had the three thirtys for a couple other kids and myself. The first night we were just casualy drinking for a bit and then we started to play pong later on. After that all the people leave and we are just hanging out and still drinking trying to get king cup going but people are passing out. At this point im fuckin hammered and just taking peoples beers away from them and start double fisting everything I can get my hands on. by the time everyone is passed out im still siting with my girl at the kitchen table continuing to double fist as many beers as I can before I pass out. Im at that drunk stage where I cant even really talk and im swervin back and forth just sitting in a chair and im super tired. Eventually I give up on the beer and realize im gonna pass out so my girl and I stumble back to her bed. Ive got about 18beers in me and immediatly pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow. Now the rest of my story is what I was told. Supoosivly me and my girl start going at it because I drunkly woke up with a raging boner. While we were fucking I poped out of her vag and jammed it in her butt(im guessing on drunken accident) and started fuckin her like I was on a mission to destroy her asshole. I probably still thought it was her vag at my drunken state. Turns out I passed out again directly after this happened. I was laying face up on my back with my pants around my ankles. She had to try to pull my pants up for me while I was passed out so her roomate and our other friend didnt wake up to find me laying there with my dick out. In the morning I woke up to my girl yelling at me to get up and get into bed. Turns out I somehow rolled over her stumbled around the dorm and passed out on her floor cuddling with the refrigerator using a rug as a blanket. It was the first time I had ever blacked out and I was upset that I didnt remember my first anal sex experience. the end.<3

Alright, this isnt a "sex experience" but its an oral sex experience. now here it goes.

So two years ago, I was only in 7th grade. So I was going out with this girl and then cheated on her for some other girl and we dated for about two weeks. I ended it and then about three days later, it was a thursday. I was in this class called video productions and we were allowed to roam the school. I texted the girl I cheated on and told her to give me head in the bathroom. so we met at the bathrooms 6th period. We proceeded into the girls bathroom and she gave me head in the handicap stall. i was so suprised i lasted as long as i did being only in 7th grade. the next day somebody found out and we were suspended for 5 days. i was the victim and she was the offender. from this day on thes known as the slut who gave head in middle school, and im known as the kid who got the D sucked in 7th grade.

win.

ask your mom about it

i wish you didn't post this

gotta add to my sig

oh shit

I'm not gonna go through the whole story, but I'm hooking up with this girl and she starts giving me a handjob, I straight up ask her to suck it and she says she doesn't suck the first time hooking up with a dude. After 15 minutes of a dry handjob, I've lost my boner and my dick itches. I drop her home and by then it's too late to see Sherlock Holmes with my bro.

Can I has it please? I need better sig material

dude thats such a tease haha sorry man..   i hate when they txt u after or the next day and regret not going further haha pisses me off

Long Story Short:

Was in a distant relationship, finally got to see her that month. after a day of many sexual endeavuors. she gave me the head at 1 A.M.. after an hour  it kinda caught on that the big bang wasn't happening any time soon.

It may not of helped that im from NY, and the we were watching the Red Sox game..

yeah man bitch texts me to hang, how does that not equate to me getting my d wet?

OUCH

none!

threads

When I got back to my bedroom (was in her car) and realized there was blood everywhere. I will not go into specifics because she lurks on this sometimes.

+k

winner

Tossing her salad instead of eating her out cause I was too drunk to know what was going on.

^ooo that's rough. Did she like it?

Amazingly yes, yes she did. So it wasn't bad until I found out next morning I totally screwed up.

that's a bummer.

bahaha definitely made that mistake before too.