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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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snowbabeee
Posts: 44 - Karma: 136
Gold
Feb 7 2014 12:47PM
2 0
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
that's actually pretty fucking cool, if you think about it most NSers probably wouldn't even know that.
Feb 7 2014 10:03PM
6 0
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Darbyflier
Posts: 26 - Karma: 13
"No man, they're revel eight ski B O A R D S - their super maneuverable!"
Feb 8 2014 12:32PM
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
"Walking in ski boots actually makes you a better skier"

Might be true, IDEK. Sounds like it's not tho.
Feb 8 2014 10:53PM
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noahmdubs
Posts: 145 - Karma: 166
"is that a stunt place?"
Feb 9 2014 12:29PM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
went skiing with a friend from school.
I'm skiing switch pretty fast, then my edge catches and i go down HARD.
Slide down the hill, roll over and ride away in a little pain.
kids says "I was going to snow you, but you got up. That's what you do right? snow people when they fall down?"
I give him a 3 minute lecture on the chairlift about how that is wrong.
Feb 9 2014 6:17PM
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.Rybak.
Posts: 9017 - Karma: 9,864
Oh man you were practicing THE SWITCH???!!!!?? did you wear protection?
Feb 9 2014 6:22PM
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DIPED_IN_SAUCE
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,256
I did some instructing last year and I like to ski switch while teaching so I can watch my class. One of the moms asked me if my twin tips where "special teaching skis for skiing backwards."
Feb 9 2014 6:31PM
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BBurt
Posts: 1588 - Karma: 3,779
I quote the famous NBC: It's a trick that parents around the world might have to warn their children not to try and copy.
Feb 9 2014 7:17PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
Ski instructor (young, probably 16) comes in and buys Ramp Corks (lol) and then is looking at bindings. He's looking at the Griffons and he asks me "Why is there a spring in there??" referring to the heel piece because it is visible.

Some dude came in today bitching because there was a rip in his new Patagonia pants. The rip is clearly from either an edge or a tree or something. He's talking to the managers say that "I paid $300 for these pants they should be indestructible" etc etc. It was a tiny slice, like an inch long. Some people...
Feb 22 2014 10:48PM
1 0
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DIPED_IN_SAUCE
Posts: 858 - Karma: 2,256
I was skiing today, an old guy on straight skis and sunglasses points at my rocker2's and says "son, I think your skis are bent, maybe you should take them into the shop and get them straightened out... Follow me if you don't know the way!"
Feb 22 2014 10:52PM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
Walked into the chalet tonight and heard this dialogue between a Mother and Son.

Son: "Mom can I do snowboarding?"
Mother: "When you're a teenager you can do snowboarding."

I was laughing my ass off for a solid 3 minutes, then, I got this deep sinking feeling inside of me and started to quiver.
Feb 27 2014 12:48AM
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snugs
Posts: 966 - Karma: 4,090
can you do an iron-cross?
Feb 27 2014 8:38AM
1 1
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Lus146
Posts: 422 - Karma: 2,283
Gaper on rental directional skis, brags about how he skis park. I ask what he can do. He replies "I like to hit jumps that are to the side of slide rails."
Feb 27 2014 9:39AM
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Deforestation
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 3,192
This is a lie
Feb 27 2014 4:11PM
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ZeMagnificentKev
Posts: 618 - Karma: 1,325
Holy shit it was like a blast from the past yeasterday. I was going up the lift right underneath our park, with a dad and his like 8yr old daughter. She was asking him if they could go in the park, and the dad replies "oh no honey, I don't think they let skiers in those things"
Feb 27 2014 4:26PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
this thread is 91 pages of the same made up storied being posted over and over. it's actually quite incredible
Mar 1 2014 10:34AM
31 2
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Meeds
Posts: 73 - Karma: 335
not really a gaper, just an old dude who skis like 100 days a season for the past 50 years told me on a powder day that "wide skis are for pussies"
Mar 1 2014 11:02PM
42 1
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Matt5838
Posts: 321 - Karma: 335
How about the fresh groomers to eat shit on
Mar 2 2014 12:34AM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
That dude sounds like a motherfucking boss.
Mar 2 2014 1:01AM
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dingus
Posts: 1328 - Karma: 7,877
"Why is there benches in the middle of the jumps"
"Those are boxes"
"What are they for?"
"So people like you can feel like Tom Wallisch"
"Who's Tom Wallisch?"
Mar 2 2014 2:39AM
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powerbong2000
Posts: 737 - Karma: 1,802
this thread is like 50% lies.
Mar 2 2014 3:49PM
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Dwarftosser1
Posts: 2602 - Karma: 951
Not to mention the majority of posts in here are by people with tiny post counts, it's weird.
Mar 2 2014 3:58PM
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Brule.
Posts: 3846 - Karma: 5,658
This happened to me yesterday at lovely Mount Jore while in the lift line for the triple chair.

*Myself and two of my friends get in line after the liftie checks out passes, and another group of 3 slide behind us and accidentally steps on our skis*

Man: "Whoa there, fancy skis."

*myself and my friends look back*

Man: "Do you do any flips and whilry-doos on those skis?"

Me: "I'm not really good at it, I just film a lot in the park."

*I turn toward two of my friends and start lol'ing*

Man: *turns to his maybe wife* "those are the guys that do those 360's and flippy-do's.

*myself and my friends sit down on the chair, then I proceed to lose it laughing*
Mar 2 2014 4:01PM
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powerbong2000
Posts: 737 - Karma: 1,802
strange psychology
Mar 2 2014 4:04PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
why would you post this. please explain to me why
Mar 2 2014 10:59PM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
I like reading these stories as long as they are variated a little.

As long as the same piece of shit is painted over each time, I thoroughly enjoy it.
Mar 3 2014 12:06AM
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L0gan
Posts: 36 - Karma: 440
Gaper to his friend that just slammed today, "DUDE you just got like 3 feet of air!"
Mar 3 2014 6:35PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
Gaper: "Who was that snowboarder in the olympics with dreadlocks and really baggy snowpants?"

Me: "Oh, Henrik Harlaut? He's a skier."

Gaper: "No..I'm pretty sure he was a snowboarder."



After that was said I just gave up.
Mar 3 2014 7:03PM
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slaagmaster
Posts: 129 - Karma: 63
gaper: you are peeing on your skiis!!!!!

jong: they are not my skiis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mar 3 2014 7:16PM
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
I say this all the time (obvious napoleon dynamite reference)
Mar 3 2014 7:59PM
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JahFeels
Posts: 779 - Karma: 587
Saga Side Jumper
Mar 3 2014 8:07PM
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CrapBandit
Posts: 142 - Karma: 861
http://youtu.be/nYzlWois5eU?t=1m

ma boy Jossi
Mar 3 2014 8:16PM
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CrapBandit
Posts: 142 - Karma: 861
Mar 3 2014 8:18PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
yup
Mar 3 2014 9:58PM
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cannonballer
Posts: 168 - Karma: 592
You were going up a lift underneath the park?
Mar 3 2014 10:03PM
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Slurpsicle.
Posts: 703 - Karma: 999
Got on the lift the other day with some older geezers and as we got on the guy next to me starts to comment on my armada ar7s. He said, "is armada like a model of K2 skis? I've never seen those kind before, are they like a special-made local model?"

I just chuckled and told him that, yee gods!, armada is in fact it's own ski company. After that him and his friends chatted about the old days using skinny skis for the rest of the ride.
Mar 4 2014 6:54PM
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yalebale
Posts: 94 - Karma: 20
That metal thing behind the jump is so that you don't hit it. (when talking about a rail)
Mar 5 2014 12:42PM
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Melanie78
Posts: 1 - Karma: -2
low_fidelity"hey lets go do that new obstacle course" (refering to the terrain park)



That is so cute that they called it the obstacle course! That is the most adorable thing I have heard!
Jun 18 2014 3:14PM
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Wrenn
Posts: 226 - Karma: 915
I just got injured for the second time in a season and this girl at my school is like "You're not that good I bet I'm better than you I've skied down black diamonds"

Another time I was skiing with these 2 guys that seemed like they just weren't that good and I wasn't using poles that day they told me "Skiing with poles is so much better you can do helicopters with them" also one of them kept telling me he could do 5's. Later that week I saw him on 3 ft wide box and he could only do a 180.
Jun 25 2014 11:58PM
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.lencon
Posts: 6753 - Karma: 17,178
Not really a gaper but..

*watching Olympics with mom*

her: he's going backwards!
me: um yeah..switch
her: *sees henrick harlaut* omg he's so good he's like flipping and spinning at the same time!
me: yeah..corks
her: skip this back I want to show your dad
*dad comes into room* btw he's a really good skiier you did tricks back in the day
dad: I like these comps, they're cool
mom: these guys are crazy, they could die
dad: well it's not like it's their first time trying..the practice in foam pits and stuff ALL THE TIME
*mom and dad get into small argument about how they're "crazy"
*dad walks away to finish whatever he's doing*
*me and mom continue to watch Olympics*
*mom watches like nick geopper or someone*
mom: hmmm?
me: what?
mom: that one guy with the dreads wasn't that good, they're all doing the same thing..
me: *stares at her then packs bags and moves*

haha true story
Jun 26 2014 12:33AM
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.FRY.
Posts: 5620 - Karma: 22,852
"I'm a black diamond skier"
Jun 26 2014 12:37AM
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.lencon
Posts: 6753 - Karma: 17,178
Haha that reminds me

My lil bros friend told my bother you had to be 21 to ski double blacks.
When my brother told him I could ski double blacks he thought I was some sort of pro skiier outlaw hahah
Jun 26 2014 12:40AM
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Garebear
Posts: 378 - Karma: 4,908
Grizzly.ButtahNot really a gaper but..

*watching Olympics with mom*

her: he's going backwards!
me: um yeah..switch
her: *sees henrick harlaut* omg he's so good he's like flipping and spinning at the same time!
me: yeah..corks
her: skip this back I want to show your dad
*dad comes into room* btw he's a really good skiier you did tricks back in the day
dad: I like these comps, they're cool
mom: these guys are crazy, they could die
dad: well it's not like it's their first time trying..the practice in foam pits and stuff ALL THE TIME
*mom and dad get into small argument about how they're "crazy"
*dad walks away to finish whatever he's doing*
*me and mom continue to watch Olympics*
*mom watches like nick geopper or someone*
mom: hmmm?
me: what?
mom: that one guy with the dreads wasn't that good, they're all doing the same thing..
me: *stares at her then packs bags and moves*

haha true story


that was very, very anticlimactic..
Jun 26 2014 12:45AM
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.lencon
Posts: 6753 - Karma: 17,178
Garebearthat was very, very anticlimactic..


Sorry it was so long..it was just funny haha..kinda like you had to be there mlment
Jun 26 2014 1:07AM
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Mingg
Posts: 13936 - Karma: 48,466
One time I really ate shit bad on a rail. I was sure I fractured a rib but I only ended up bruising them. After I fell, I had to lay there for a minute because it hurt real bad to breathe. A group of guys came over to see if I was okay. I told them I was good and that I just needed a minute. I heard one of the guys yell oh shit a couple seconds later! I look over and this kid hit the fucking rail. I was about two feet away from it with a groups of guys around me. It should have been pretty obvious something was going on. He didn't hit any of us but one of the guys chased him down and I guess the kid said something along the lines of "maybe you should learn how to ski." It was pretty retarded.
Jun 26 2014 1:27AM
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
I just thought it was really cute how people at school would talk to me about some of the olympic freeskiers.
friend: "I really liked the guy with the dreadlocks and falling down pants, who did you like?"
me: "Everyone killed it, but you can't go wrong with dollo."
friend: "who's dollo? was he the guy who saved the puppies?"
Jun 26 2014 1:51AM
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toastyteenagers
Posts: 1834 - Karma: 6,793
"I ski triple black squares"
I further asked the gaper on rental skis,
"Name one skier"
He responded
"Shaun white"
Jun 27 2014 1:32AM
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