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March, 2024

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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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tris10radeka
Posts: 267 - Karma: 665
Steezasaurusgaper: are those tricky skis?
me: yes
gaper: so you can like do tricks and stuff?
me:...yes
gaper: so you can like do grinds and helicopter spins??
me:...........sure
gaper: so are you like spansorized and are in like the xgames with shaun white???
me:....no
gaper:....can you do a backflip??
me: no! you fucking gaper, why the fuck do you and all other peopl like you with your fuckin skiblades come in a park and proceed to create a cluster fuck of bitches and destroy all of our lips and jumps by going 3 miles over it and just going down it and cutting people off and make complete assholes of yourself. god fuckin dammit! alot of people can do backflips and do "helicopters" and grind, you along with the rest of your gaper parasite need to just d=stay out of the park and make everyone happy. fuck!
gaper: ( some high school rich kid) proceeds to get teary eyed


yess helicopter spins. I was wondering if anyone else had heard that before
Jan 13 2016 1:04PM
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tris10radeka
Posts: 267 - Karma: 665
Oh I just thought of a good one. happened last week at school

Random kid wearing a yawgoo valley t shirt (
Jan 13 2016 1:22PM
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Lonely
Posts: 6601 - Karma: 59,671
Kid asks if my 95mm underfoot skis are powder skis because they're bright colors
Jan 13 2016 1:36PM
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PNayr
Posts: 355 - Karma: 727
Fat kid in a tall tee talking to Andy Parry at a Tell A friend tour meetup," yo what kind of gloves do you wear????" ...........

"Wait do they sell them here?????"
Jan 13 2016 2:11PM
1 13
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
PNayrFat kid in a tall tee talking to Andy Parry at a Tell A friend tour meetup," yo what kind of gloves do you wear????" ...........

"Wait do they sell them here?????"


you sound pretty cool man, the big homie just wanted to have toasty hands
Jan 13 2016 7:00PM
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OregonDead
Posts: 6792 - Karma: 23,529
tris10radekayess helicopter spins. I was wondering if anyone else had heard that before


Sometimes I just call it a helicopter. There was a when time every kid wanted to be able to do a helicopter. Still a rad trick IMO.
Jan 13 2016 7:23PM
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tac0.slayer
Posts: 254 - Karma: 947
Night skiing, pretty much the last people on the hill, my brother and I were standing at the top of the 50' vert bunnyhill when a snowboarder wearing a one peice snow suit walks up carrying his board and politely ask's if theres an easier way down.

The lodge was literally a straight run down 500 feet away.

Like I honestly thought he was kidding because there was literally no other way in sight.

Also one time I was chatting to this friendly guy on the lift, and at one point he asked how much season passes were, saying how he had been up 16 days that season buying day passes each time, which is easily double the amount of two season passes at my hill lmao.
Jan 13 2016 8:13PM
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addie.
Posts: 350 - Karma: 1,430
ttelrabOne time I got on the lift with this kid, (he was rocking Beats headphones, and a puma hoodie) He pulls an IPAD out of his backpack and starts going through his music. He looks over at me laughing and goes "What bro, you don't like Eminem?"


this one's my favorite
Jan 13 2016 8:21PM
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PNayr
Posts: 355 - Karma: 727
stupendous-manyou sound pretty cool man, the big homie just wanted to have toasty hands


Boi you should've been there to see it. I was dying on the inside
Jan 13 2016 9:50PM
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dyer
Posts: 619 - Karma: 964
RICK_ROSSsomebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?"


They put them in a freezer. Duh
Jan 13 2016 10:59PM
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poonis
Posts: 248 - Karma: 1,391
LonelyKid asks if my 95mm underfoot skis are powder skis because they're bright colors


Do you by chance have the 2015 line tc skis because me too
Jan 14 2016 12:53AM
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Lonely
Posts: 6601 - Karma: 59,671
keefskiDo you by chance have the 2015 line tc skis because me too


No
Jan 14 2016 6:50AM
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BianKarrett
Posts: 360 - Karma: 2,106
Kid with 2016 twall full tilts: Do you follow Newschoolers on Instagram?
me: yeah do you have a ns account?
Kid: yeah I'm following their account on insta
me: ummm ok
Jan 14 2016 12:54PM
12 1
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The.Fish
Posts: 2269 - Karma: 4,985
"Do the blowers blow shredded cheese out like that one drake and josh movie"
btw that show was the best
Jan 14 2016 1:01PM
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Dddsz
Posts: 3042 - Karma: 7,328
"Nice ohhhnepz"
Jan 14 2016 1:02PM
3 0
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loam.duvanin
Posts: 45 - Karma: 49
"is that a Canon?"
Me: It is
"I love that mountain"
Jan 14 2016 3:27PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7494 - Karma: 50,826
Thich texan accent: "Honey hold my sticks while I stitch up my riggers".
Jan 15 2016 11:13AM
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GrapeHunter
Posts: 2328 - Karma: 7,881
My grandma asked to see my skis. I had line after bangs at the time, and she picked them up looked at them,
"Why are the ends bent up? Did you do that?"
"No grandma, they are called twin tips, so you can ski switch.. Uh, backwards."
"How do they do that!? Do they glue two skis together in the middle!?"

I have never laughed so hard
Jan 15 2016 12:34PM
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chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,163
Not really a gaper story but the dean of my hs called my down to his office for skiing moguls with park skis. He was on a lift like halfway across the mountains and saw how I was "ruining the snow for everyone else"

kinda true i caught my back edge and sent one to my face
Jan 15 2016 12:48PM
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spacelunch
Posts: 67 - Karma: 141
I like doing airtime in the trick park
Jan 15 2016 5:53PM
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ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
*In the lift line on my 181 filthy riches* "wow I didn't know they still made skis that long now a days"
Jan 15 2016 6:14PM
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Deforestation
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 3,192
spacelunchI like doing airtime in the trick park


that never happened
Jan 15 2016 6:42PM
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spacelunch
Posts: 67 - Karma: 141
I guess i dont have much credibility because im an n00b but this from my school thought thats since you do a trick you do airtime
Jan 16 2016 1:25AM
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Aparker
Posts: 727 - Karma: 1,674
TonyTheTigerRight after I did a flatspin 5.... I heard someone scream in the chair: "Omg this guy did a frontflip!!!!".... oooook...

My flat 5 response is "Omg he did a backflip!!!"
Jan 17 2016 7:01PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
today on the lift i heard, "can't believe this shit has made it to 92 pages"
Jan 24 2016 10:41PM
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JichelMusten
Posts: 750 - Karma: 2,880
Ahh, if only gapers new how much they get flamed here on newschoolers
Jan 25 2016 9:04AM
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asdfpijeoafsdsk
Posts: 29 - Karma: 117
Every single person is a gaper at my hill. Everyone starts screaming if anyone does a k-fed. Its depressing.
Jan 25 2016 9:13AM
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EasyCheesySteezy
Posts: 132 - Karma: 947
Kid: are you going inside
Me: (I'm holding the open walking inside) no its to cold out so I'm warming up the hill
Jan 25 2016 10:11AM
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trannyfinder.edu
Posts: 236 - Karma: 288
So I was riding up the chairlift with this kid about 10-11. He then proceeded to tell me all these crazy stories and people dieing, and his dad being so great. The best story however was about the infamous GoPro. He said his dad got the first one. I replied by saying 'oh cool, the new ones are getting pretty good.' Then he replied "yeah, but I'm pretty sure the original is like the best because it is not all upgraded and stuff." I replied a simple 'ya' and continued with my day.
Jan 25 2016 11:54AM
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Pole-Less
Posts: 197 - Karma: 543
"Broooo why do you wear you goggles under your helmet?"
Jan 25 2016 2:33PM
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mike759
Posts: 872 - Karma: 1,949
"the snowboard jumps" aka terrain park
Jan 25 2016 3:44PM
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mike759
Posts: 872 - Karma: 1,949
sorry for dub post
"I'm scared I might fall off the mountain"
Jan 25 2016 4:30PM
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JustinG7
Posts: 68 - Karma: 561
Almost all the kids in my school ski club are gapers and I love on the way home from the mountain when all of them are saying, "yo I had an epic day and those jumps were sick!" when really all they did was pizza down all the greens, tuck in a pizza, and hit tiny bumps (aka jumps).
Jan 25 2016 5:30PM
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gnarballsianm
Posts: 621 - Karma: 703
Getting off chair at stevens pass, knocking skis off to hike up to big chief bowl,

Gaper asks, "so is that like a dope ass run up there?"
Me, "Nah, probably just be kinda shitty,"

Long story short, got the freshies and kept the snakes out
Jun 2 2016 1:03PM
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highpeak
Posts: 426 - Karma: 2,209
Bump
Nov 28 2017 8:47PM
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-eREKTion-
Posts: 1480 - Karma: 9,271
I had a first time skier pay for demos because she thought we would demonstrate how to use the equipment. It was slow so I showed her how to step into and get out of bindings.

Also, had the classic "Are you sponsored?" a few times. One guy asked me after I shifty'd off a pretty mellow side hit. I asked why he thought I was sponsored and he pointed at my skis and said that only pros have skis that cool. So good job Moment... I guess.
Nov 28 2017 11:03PM
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HypeBeast
Posts: 9774 - Karma: 72,202
"Wow those are a lot of stickers on your skis. Did you put all those stickers on them? Must've taken a while."...in referring to my 2013 Line Afterbangs....

"Sorry bro, I couldn't stop"...as some Jerry in rental skis slides right across the front of my skis while I'm waiting in the lift line.
Nov 29 2017 3:16AM
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Durrrham
Posts: 141 - Karma: 635
Look at how fast I’m going!!!!
Nov 29 2017 8:58AM
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jordanj801
Posts: 96 - Karma: 112
Kids at my school like to call the 15 foot jump at my resort the "Mega Ramp"
Nov 29 2017 9:42AM
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DMadd11883
Posts: 99 - Karma: 88
"Wow you can ski without poles!" and "Hey isn't you're jacket a little big lololololol" are the two classics
Nov 30 2017 11:47PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51263 - Karma: 157,451
EasyCheesySteezyKid: are you going inside
Me: (I'm holding the open walking inside) no its to cold out so I'm warming up the hill


I had to read this 5 or 6 times to figure out what the fuck was going on
Dec 1 2017 12:01AM
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shredasaurus
Posts: 357 - Karma: 888
DId yoU sEE tHat HELicoPtEr?!??

(the kid he was talking about did a 3....
Dec 1 2017 10:18AM
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Limitanie
Posts: 19 - Karma: 86
It was spring skiing last year at vail and it was a toasty 55 degrees so my friends and I were wearing tank tops, gaper looks at us, "hey wearing tank tops while skiing is dangerous"

Us, "Uh what?"

Gaper, "yeah you can get frostbite"

Us, "..."
Dec 1 2017 10:44PM
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chimpansteeze
Posts: 97 - Karma: 482
*at mid mountain, jerry gaperton skis over to me

"hey, im looking for the lift?"

ok, which one you looking for?

"you know, the one that goes up"
Dec 2 2017 2:02PM
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ThatSkiierKidd64
Posts: 334 - Karma: 899
Where do you find the place with the metal things you can slide on?
Dec 3 2017 6:06PM
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lil.Boye
Posts: 2470 - Karma: 11,226
Non gaper: are you filming a POV video?
Gaper: no.
Non gaper: then why do you have the gopro mounterd on your head?
Gaoer: i'm filming a rad video. Check my youtubes.
Dec 3 2017 7:08PM
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jensen
Posts: 2575 - Karma: 1,250
DMadd11883"Wow you can ski without poles!" and "Hey isn't you're jacket a little big lololololol" are the two classics


This is funny because you were actually the one being called a gaper...
Dec 4 2017 3:44AM
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skiguy04
Posts: 1572 - Karma: 1,028
DIRTYBUBBLEThich texan accent: "Honey hold my sticks while I stitch up my riggers".


RICK_ROSStoday on the lift i heard, "can't believe this shit has made it to 92 pages"


Stitch up your riggers! Rad gaper is a hero
Jun 18 2018 3:48PM
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