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PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

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Jokes... It's all Jokes.. Add 'em Here!

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ski@work
Posts: 419 - Karma: 6
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.
Mar 14 2006 9:42AM
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ninjea
Posts: 2083 - Karma: 28
Q: a black guy and a indian jumped off a building, wich one hit the ground first

A: the black guy, because hes a shade heavier.


Q: A blond and a brunet jumped off a building, wich one hit the ground first?

A: the brunet, because the blond got lost
May 26 2006 9:23AM
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duhamelski
Posts: 3842 - Karma: 192
why did the dead baby cross the street?
cuz he was stpled to the chicken.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the street?
cuz he was fucking the dead baby.
May 26 2006 1:15PM
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sKILOve07
Posts: 3482 - Karma: 9
i heard one last night that made me laugh:

What do you call a fag in a wheel chair?
Roll Aids
May 26 2006 2:47PM
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k_Boss957
Posts: 1726 - Karma: 15
what is the best thing about getting head from an ethiopian

you know she is going to swallow
May 26 2006 3:05PM
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Petey.
Posts: 5736 - Karma: 4,881
hey...ur gay
May 26 2006 3:50PM
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Norred
Posts: 3520 - Karma: 13
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty,
how do you run such an efficient government?
Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround
yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns, "But how do I know the people around me are really
intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea."Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to
answer an intelligence riddle."
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime
Minister in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty...."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father
have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is
it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!" "Yes!
Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child.
It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure,"
says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give
him an answer.
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's
shoes in the next stall.
Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father
have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's
Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his
face,
"No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
Jun 1 2006 3:04PM
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SkiCrzy
Posts: 1211 - Karma: 10
^^good one
Jun 1 2006 5:06PM
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*music4life*
Posts: 184 - Karma: 10
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in he realizes it's a gay bar.

"What the heck," he says to himself, "I really wanta drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your willy?"

The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink!"

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your willy.

Mine for instance is called NIKE,for the slogan 'Just Do It.

'That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really satisfies.

'The cowboy looks dumbfounded,

so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.

So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer,

"Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks back and says with a smile,

"TIMEX." The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies,

"'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'"

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right,

who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD because "Quality is Job One."

"Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy next to him then says,

"I call mine CHEVY.....'Like a Rock!' And gives a wink!

Even more shaken,

the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood.

Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is "SECRET".

Now give me a beer."

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN,

BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!!!!!
Jun 1 2006 5:44PM
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Vonsweegner3
Posts: 124 - Karma: 30
I apologize to whoever this offends,
Why do black people not like tootsie rolls?




They always bite their fingers.
Jun 1 2006 5:47PM
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Liam.
Posts: 5172 - Karma: 21
what do u say when a white person steals ur tv?

drop the tv white boy
Jun 1 2006 5:59PM
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skirbrt88
Posts: 1090 - Karma: 23
what do u call a shed full of black people?

antique farm equipment
Jun 1 2006 6:09PM
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Caledon-skier
Posts: 532 - Karma: 10
haha
Jun 1 2006 8:04PM
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cork13
Posts: 439 - Karma: 11
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies?
A: 11. One to make the dough, and another 10 to peel the M&Ms.

Q: Whats the difference between a level 4 (ski instructor) and god?
A: God isn't a level four.

Q: How do you get 10 dead babies in a bucket?
A: Blender
Q: How do you get them out (of the bucket)?
A: Straw
Jun 1 2006 10:09PM
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shagalabagala
Posts: 2101 - Karma: 10
the dead baby ones aren't that funny- maybe just me but i didn't laugh
Jun 1 2006 10:24PM
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iskilibertys
Posts: 996 - Karma: 23
How many dirty stinkin' apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb??


Three! One dirty stinkin' ape to screw in the lightbulb, and two dirty stinkin' apes to throw feces at eachother!
Jun 1 2006 10:25PM
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III
Posts: 2041 - Karma: 22
What's similar between a slinky and a parapalegic





Neither's good for much, but they're both fun to push down stairs.
Jun 1 2006 11:30PM
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dre14
Posts: 360 - Karma: 11
Q:whats worse than 9 babies stapled to a tree?
A:1 baby stapled to 9 trees
Jun 1 2006 11:33PM
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newskool
Posts: 87 - Karma: 10
whats the same between a duck and a motorcylce?

they both have handlebars except for the duck.

if it takes a chicken and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long will it take a grass hopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?


2
Jun 2 2006 12:54AM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
Whats Big and Yellow and eats Grass?



A school Bus. I lied about the Grass.


Whats Brown and sticky?


A stick.
Jun 2 2006 1:09AM
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=Worf=
Posts: 2468 - Karma: 25
A: the more important question is why is she out of the kitchen and who gave her shoes.

Q:why do brides wear white
A: the diswasher has to match the stove and refrigerator.

Q: how do you fix a womens watch
A: why bother there is a clock on the stove

Q; what do you say to a women with 2 black eyes
A: Nothing you already told her twice

Q: whty do women wear make up and perfume
A: cause thwere ugly and they stink
Jun 2 2006 9:50AM
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NFproductions
Posts: 1093 - Karma: 12
haha good one
Jun 2 2006 10:14AM
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nut
Posts: 625 - Karma: 12
What's faster than the speed of light?



A jew with a coupon
Jun 2 2006 10:53AM
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zanderd
Posts: 231 - Karma: 14
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! this is the best fucking thread I almost just pissed myself.

Q: How did hellen Keller burn her face?
A: The phone rang and she answered the iron

Q: How did Hellen Keller Burn her face again?
A: She tried to call back.
Jun 2 2006 11:48AM
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RastaSkier9
Posts: 1563 - Karma: 15
Why do black guys always have nightmares?

Because we shot the only on with a dream!
Jun 4 2006 6:06PM
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ECshredder
Posts: 989 - Karma: 11
Q: what do u call a barn full of black people?
A: antique farm equipment
Jun 4 2006 6:13PM
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duhamelski
Posts: 3842 - Karma: 192
how do you kill 50 flies at once?
slap an eatheopean in the face
Jun 4 2006 6:16PM
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Scratch*my*Back
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 160
Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing but fish going "AWWWW Fuck! I thought I looked like that rock!"
Jun 4 2006 6:39PM
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zerospinskier
Posts: 4867 - Karma: 350
^that makes like.....negative sense
Jun 4 2006 6:53PM
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Scratch*my*Back
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 160
thats because its a mitch hedberg line
Jun 4 2006 7:16PM
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Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
ahahahahaha
Jun 4 2006 7:20PM
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rippinbumpskier
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 23
why do black people smell?




so blind people can hate them too
Jun 4 2006 7:23PM
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Scratch*my*Back
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 160
"This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard."
Jun 4 2006 7:24PM
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Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
hahaha 4 easy payments of $19.95. that means each payment is $4.9875
Jun 4 2006 7:26PM
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Scratch*my*Back
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 160
um no kyle. it means each payment is 19.95....and you pay that....4 times.
Jun 4 2006 7:27PM
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tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
oooo pwn3d
Jun 4 2006 8:10PM
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iskilibertys
Posts: 996 - Karma: 23
bhahahahaha!

BEST joke on this page, even though he was serious.
Jun 4 2006 8:34PM
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iskilibertys
Posts: 996 - Karma: 23
What do a hurricane and a woman have in common?

When they come they're wet n' wild, and when they go they take your house and your car.



Why did the woman get hit by a train?

The better question is: What were the train tracks doing going through the kitchen?



What's green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Jun 4 2006 8:39PM
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freestyle_kyle
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 164
a man ran into a woman on his motorcycle. whos fault is it?




the man's, he shouldnt be driving his motorcycle in the kitchen
Jun 4 2006 9:03PM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
how many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?



let's go ride bikes!
Jun 4 2006 10:00PM
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zerospinskier
Posts: 4867 - Karma: 350
bump please.
i love jokes that make fun of people
Jun 5 2006 5:44PM
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Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
well doesnt that make me look like im retarded. hahaha
Jun 5 2006 5:45PM
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[lineskier]820
Posts: 923 - Karma: 11
aaaah i keep on mistaking you for me, and these jokes are hilarious
Jun 5 2006 5:54PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
two guys are hunting and one of the guys looks with his scope into a cabin. He tells the other guy that his wife is cheating on him with another man. The guy tells him to shoot her in the head and him in the privates. The guy looking through the scope says,"Sweet I can get that in one shot"
Jun 5 2006 6:48PM
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Scratch*my*Back
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 160
i still think you're special.












in the brain.
Jun 5 2006 6:48PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
that is good
Jun 5 2006 6:52PM
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Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
:)
Jun 5 2006 6:53PM
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Mat.
Posts: 7167 - Karma: 94
dumbass
Jun 5 2006 6:53PM
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freestyle_kyle
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 164
whats the difference between a bra and the calgary flames?

a bra has two cups!!!
Jun 5 2006 10:58PM
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drewishish
Posts: 3710 - Karma: 23
Q: how did helen keller's parents punish her?
A: they put a plunger in the toilet.

Q: why did helen keller fall off the cliff?
A: she had her gloves on.

Q: whats the differance between a truck full of babies and a truck full of rocks?
A: the pitch fork goes into the babies.
Jun 6 2006 12:27AM
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sampsihoyos
Posts: 1939 - Karma: 910
why do white people hold a gun upright?
Because its more accurate

why do black people hold a gun sideways?
Because it looks cool

why do mexicans move the gun back and forth really fast when they're shooting it?

Because they think it makes the bullter go faster
Jun 6 2006 12:44AM
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