Fuck! Help me?

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Fuck! Help me?

Posts: 93 - Karma: 1,141

Jan 18 2022 1:04PM

throwback to this gem. Anyway…

newschoolers you must understand that when times are tough I must return to this website for advice. This is some shit I wouldn’t tell anyone. Viewer Discretion advised.

me n this girl have been having a lil bit of fun lately. She’s hot and very sweet and understanding. However I keep fucking up. First time we tried to fuck my dumbass drank half a bottle of fireball and surprise, got whiskey dick. The second time was much more recently, it was 11pm and I was chillin at the homies place. We had been taking chops and shooting tequila all night. Needless to say these activities did not have me in top condition. so ofc I get the “wyd you up” text and freak tf out, start drinking water and beating my dick in the bathroom trying to see if it’s possible to get hard, trying to think of how to buy some time. anyway I determine it’s at least 50% functional so I end up heading over. Off the bat things were going well. She did her thing and my soldier was following orders. Then I ate the 😺 like a starving North Korean for like 15 minutes. But by now too much time had passed and my shit was back down to 50% at BEST. She hopped on top and did her best to make it work. Just picture sitting down on one of those twisty balloons. She was tight and I simply lacked the rigidity. It was late and we only had a couple hours to sleep so she said “next time” Nd we gave up. At this point I almost died. Theres probably nothing worse than hearing “I want you to fuck me so bad” and thinkin in ur mind “sorry baby that ain’t happenin” - I guess if she hits me up again after all this she must really like me 🙃 cause I have been UNRELIABLE dick for her. Hopefully I can put the pipe down next time bc she deserves it by this point.

I’m actually considering stopping drinking bc of this. Chops probably don’t help either. However weed alone seems to enhance performance. She’s been so patient with me and I just want to give her what she wants. I’ve seen plenty of advice on how not to cum fast but none on how to stay hard while heavily intoxicated. NS you are my last hope cause ain’t nobody else I’m admitting this to - ☮️✌️

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Posts: 8064 - Karma: 4,802

Jan 18 2022 3:38PM

Nah man, keep drinking. Its only a problem once your liver shuts down. Its her fault anyways for not rubbing your prostate during foreplay.

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Posts: 2329 - Karma: 7,884

Jan 18 2022 6:49PM

yea she should know to rub the 'state

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Posts: 4541 - Karma: 19,088

Jan 18 2022 8:24PM

I think it’s pretty clear you just aren’t into girls. Try a guy and see if the problem goes away.

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Posts: 9774 - Karma: 72,207

Jan 18 2022 8:29PM

Wait ur doing weed and drinking? Both combined definitely are a recipe for disaster in the bedroom. If you're on any sort of antidepressant, then you're ultra fucked. Individually, it's not usually as big of an issue for most people. Definitely don't fuck it up a third time man lol. Have you also considered that maybe you just had to piss but were too drunk and didn't realize that was the source of your ed? Just a thought.

Or maybe you're just not really into her as much as u thought?

Nice edit repost though. Needed something to watch.

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Posts: 93 - Karma: 1,141

Jan 18 2022 9:06PM

HypeBeastWait ur doing weed and drinking? Both combined definitely are a recipe for disaster in the bedroom. If you're on any sort of antidepressant, then you're ultra fucked. Individually, it's not usually as big of an issue for most people. Definitely don't fuck it up a third time man lol. Have you also considered that maybe you just had to piss but were too drunk and didn't realize that was the source of your ed? Just a thought.

Or maybe you're just not really into her as much as u thought?

Nice edit repost though. Needed something to watch.

I was smoking joints, drinking tequila and taking mokes. Not ideal. The only times I've had whiskeydick in the past have been with one night stands that I barely even remembered so it didn't really matter. I don't think it was the piss thing but i get where ur coming from. More like as long as she was doing sum with it, it was good but as soon as she stopped for a minute nah. I actually really like her, she came onto me originally and we be vibin together, in fact im definitely closer to her than any other i've had and i've wanted to fuck her for like 3 years. This is why it's so frustrating. She told me "it's not your fault" She's understanding and very sweet but i'm not tryna lose her so i figure I gotta give up drinking for this week in case she hits me up again. cause in that case rearranging them guts is MISSION CRITICAL.

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Posts: 1984 - Karma: 4,006

Jan 18 2022 9:09PM

I drink pretty often and sometimes to a point of pretty heavy intoxication… I’ve never had your problem.

think your ween is just a discount rack product. Sorry brother.

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Posts: 1131 - Karma: 11,664

Jan 18 2022 9:37PM

Whiskey dick was invented by the closeted and asexual homies as an excuse to women for why they aren’t attracted to them. Like someone else said, maybe try guys?

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Posts: 590 - Karma: 2,253

Jan 18 2022 9:44PM

Tape it to a piece of rebar

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Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,972

Jan 18 2022 11:13PM

Don't worry your secret is safe on the internet

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Posts: 1736 - Karma: 15,686

Jan 18 2022 11:28PM

Get a dick pump

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SendyMcSendyface

Posts: 2453 - Karma: 20,000

Jan 18 2022 11:51PM

just pee in her butt

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ChadThundercock

Posts: 3070 - Karma: 785

Jan 19 2022 1:29AM

wow what a communist dictatorship this website is.

drunk guy shows up to patronize a halcyon era eheath edit with a dogshit cover of a good song that makes my ears bleed.

just keep drinking bro, black out and wake up tomorrow

try not to be a cuck and stop letting her finger your butthole

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Posts: 93 - Karma: 1,141

Jan 19 2022 12:57PM

ChadThundercockwow what a communist dictatorship this website is.

drunk guy shows up to patronize a halcyon era eheath edit with a dogshit cover of a good song that makes my ears bleed.

just keep drinking bro, black out and wake up tomorrow

try not to be a cuck and stop letting her finger your butthole

Wait so I’m a cuck if I don’t let her finger my butthole? I’m confused. But nothing is going up my butt dawg

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Posts: 3053 - Karma: 5,258

Jan 19 2022 4:33PM

You're gonna over think it.

Be so hyped, you'll get hype dick.

She'll say*I understand*

frostedTipI was smoking joints, drinking tequila and taking mokes. Not ideal. The only times I've had whiskeydick in the past have been with one night stands that I barely even remembered so it didn't really matter. I don't think it was the piss thing but i get where ur coming from. More like as long as she was doing sum with it, it was good but as soon as she stopped for a minute nah. I actually really like her, she came onto me originally and we be vibin together, in fact im definitely closer to her than any other i've had and i've wanted to fuck her for like 3 years. This is why it's so frustrating. She told me "it's not your fault" She's understanding and very sweet but i'm not tryna lose her so i figure I gotta give up drinking for this week in case she hits me up again. cause in that case rearranging them guts is MISSION CRITICAL.

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Posts: 2271 - Karma: 20,670

Jan 19 2022 5:21PM

Your only chance is to ask her out on a real date, plan a second date, give her a sincere kiss, and close the deal like a gentleman.

And do it asap because I guarantee that her lady blueballs got her looking for a working dick somewhere else. It won't take long for her to find one.

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Posts: 6177 - Karma: 66,482

Jan 19 2022 5:22PM

They should make a product called the WiskeyDick™️ where you put your impossible-to-get-up member in a strapon so you can have fun in the bar and in the bed

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Posts: 2751 - Karma: 20,876

Jan 19 2022 5:42PM

Anyone that tells sex stories on the internet with extra unnecessary detail (she’s hot, I went down on her, she’s tight) leads me to believe you’re a virgin or into guys.

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Posts: 3053 - Karma: 5,258

Jan 19 2022 8:03PM

See @milfhunter

STEEZUS_CHRI5TAnyone that tells sex stories on the internet with extra unnecessary detail (she’s hot, I went down on her, she’s tight) leads me to believe you’re a virgin or into guys.

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Posts: 93 - Karma: 1,141

Jan 19 2022 8:13PM

larilinesignYour only chance is to ask her out on a real date, plan a second date, give her a sincere kiss, and close the deal like a gentleman.

And do it asap because I guarantee that her lady blueballs got her looking for a working dick somewhere else. It won't take long for her to find one.

By “close the deal like a gentleman” I assume you mean rail her?

she does want to hang this weekend so that’s my time. Idk about the dates thing she wants me to ski with her tho

STEEZUS_CHRI5TAnyone that tells sex stories on the internet with extra unnecessary detail (she’s hot, I went down on her, she’s tight) leads me to believe you’re a virgin or into guys.

Don’t worry I made it allllll up

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Posts: 2751 - Karma: 20,876

Jan 19 2022 10:19PM

Don’t worry I made it allllll up

I understand, I sometimes can’t help myself either. You see, I have this problem. There’s this girl (super hot) that I’m totally banging but I can’t get her to orgasm. It’s weird though cuz she always tells me how nice my 6 pack is and is amazed by my monster dong. We have sex 5 times a day.

I don’t have this problem with other girls though, I was in a 3 sum last night and they both had multiple orgasms (they both had huge boobs)...Anyway, we tried again today and after she gave me 13 blowjobs (finished every time) I went down on her for 4 hrs and still nothing!

PS: I’m not just sharing this story to tell people I’m having sex. This is a real problem that I can’t solve without posting to NewSchoolers.

**This post was edited on Jan 19th 2022 at 10:20:35pm

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ASSholebomber22

Posts: 6594 - Karma: 69,705

Jan 19 2022 10:28PM

It ain't the whiskey fam. Your brains prob mush from beating your dick like it owes you money to whatever smut you watch and now you can't get off otherwise

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Posts: 93 - Karma: 1,141

Jan 19 2022 11:57PM

BiffbarfIt ain't the whiskey fam. Your brains prob mush from beating your dick like it owes you money to whatever smut you watch and now you can't get off otherwise

I actually frostbit my dick last year, might have something to do with it

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Posts: 976 - Karma: 5,186

Jan 21 2022 11:21AM

hey man i feel u i never get hard

good luck next time ! good thing she's nice

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Posts: 182 - Karma: 807

Jan 21 2022 11:40AM

sounds like you're gay! welcome to the dark side my friend

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Posts: 9774 - Karma: 72,207

Oct 31 2022 4:19AM

Sounds like drugs are the problem

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Posts: 93 - Karma: 1,141

Oct 31 2022 4:23AM

Word_of_the_LordSounds like drugs are the problem

Turned out it was my body saving me from sticking my dick in crazy

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