Seriously? You're really serious right now? I cannot tell if I have sensory problems or if I actually just witnessed a statement with such an immense amount of sheer stupidity. You know, I have seen the most bizarre things from some guy in class jerking it to Ronald Reagan tentacle hentai, to people linking Chernobyl to penis-shaped aliens, but your comment is by far the most fucking idiotic thing I have ever had the kind of horrible fucking luck one requires to hear your stupid fucking post. From this point on, when I think of you, I will imagine a diseased turtle taking an enormous dump, with so much unbelievably large amounts of shit that all the protons inside of the methyl sulfide this horrendous crap contains spontaneously fuse into uranium-235 that I can use to shove a nuke up your sub-mental ass. You can write that off as an exaggeration but it is 100% true from the bottom of my already-empty heart. I legitimately think that you lack intelligence. I would say you're mentally unstable but then I couldn't blame the terribly ignorant fucking post on you. I literally cannot comprehend how amazingly dimwitted your dumb ass is. I have trouble understanding the laws of physics, space, and time as if all laws of reality have been devastated and disintegrated due to how dense you are. I could write a damn book on your lack of intelligence that is so long, one could read the entire Series of Unfortunate Events series, watch the entire Godfather trilogy, and invent fucking time travel itself before it could even be published under a first edition. Half-Life 3 would be released centuries before I could finish the first chapter describing your purely pointless state of mind. I honestly cannot tell if you were abused too much or not abused enough, because you clearly did not go to school enough to get a proper fucking education. To quote George Washington, "Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company." In that case, I'm getting as far away from you as possible. Hell, I'm actually unironically considering moving to Macquarie Island just to be isolated from your brain cell-killing words for the rest of my now-miserable life. I would rather go insane from thinking about you to the point where I pull a Cast Away and consider sexual relations with a volleyball than actually spending time anywhere near you. There is honestly no other way of putting it; you're an irritating asshole who contributes absolutely nothing to this already dreadful planet. And that's saying a lot considering the fact that I've heard of carbon dioxide levels reaching 400 parts per million, Donald Trump becoming president, and toxic fucking comment sections that contain your stupid bullshit. And again I go, being confused by whatever quantum physics you are using to defy the laws of physics with your stupidity, to the point where I'm saying you are worse than yourself. I have nothing else that is most definitely as horrible as you to compare to except you yourself. How does that make you feel? Like a turtle taking a nuclear shit? I really don't have a single shit to give anyway, because you are living proof that there is no hope for humanity left. Really went downhill after that whole thing where Rome fell; that made a lot of people pissed off. But not as pissed off as I am after reading your stupid shit. No, buddy, if I should even call you that, I am not pissed off at your comment. I am FURIOUS. I am so furious that I will personally take that radioactive turtle shit myself just so I can rid the world of your baffling levels of unadulterated doltishness. You are more dull than oxygenated magnesium or even a samurai sword that hasn't been sharpened for a thousand years. And you better be glad that the sword is dull, because if it wasn't, it would be shoved up your ass just like the nuclear turtle shit. I am so fucking angry that even watching an Adam Sandler movie will make me happier than I am right now. If the Greeks made a god of stupidity, you would be the closest candidate to that fucking role. It's not a good thing when you're so fucking unintelligent that people like Socrates would get on their toga-wearing-ass knees to worship your dumb fucking ass. That's when you need to reconsider obviously pointless life choices. Read a fucking book for crying out loud, man! What the literal fuck is wrong with you? After this fiasco I will need at least 12 hours of building up sanity with my psychiatrist. After this she will need to prescribe Ritalin that I will have to take 5 times an hour just to prevent me from snapping because of your disgusting act of stupidity. Your post gave me type 5 syphilis, which I didn't even fucking know existed until I felt itchy dick. Thanks a fucking lot. That was sarcasm, by the way, if you're too stupid to understand what that is (you probably are). Is it even legal for someone to be enough of a dumbass to make someone experience these sorts of emotions? Witnessing your stupid shit was like crawling through the depths of Tarturus itself and Cleveland. I have no words to describe this unintelligible shit yet I have so many. Once more, a paradox caused by stupid turtle shit. I have the most uncomfortable urge to strangle you Edgar Allan Poe style, you evil-eyed, black cat piece of fuck. Put that on your fucking tombstone. For Pete's sake man, you have drained almost every last sane brain cell I have developed ever since my unplanned birth and made my life more unenjoyable than it has to be you fucking cholesterol-ridden shit. I already consider jumping in front of a steamroller whenever I look at my uglyass reflection in the mirror, and then you come along and do this stupid fucking shit. Making me think of turtle shit infused with uranium-235. I'll punch you so fucking fast the force of your damn teeth breaking will cause nuclear fusion to happen from all the damn kinetic energy and make you implode into your possibly nonexistent dick. You want to defy logic, I will too motherfucker. You're possibly the most ignorant piece of fuck I have had the unfortunate chance to stumble upon in the butthole of the internet. I hope that shittyass post was worth it because I am going to kick your shitposting ass if I ever cross paths with you. Eat nuclear turtle shit.
jk
**This post was edited on Feb 16th 2019 at 9:31:26pm