Today is my Sunday (I'm a pizza pasta slave) so naturally I marathon drank yesterday, woke up, chugged an iced tea, slept more until noon, crushed some PBRs, then demolished my neighbor's window when i accidentally flung a pole while eating shit on the backyard jib... and now this leaves me two hours til night tickets start. Unfortunately, a DUI would ruin my life, so I would need to uber there and back like a millionaire.

My drunk strategy isn't much different than my usual -- sketchy k-feds, sloppy shuffles, and 50 foot iron crosses.

Is this a waste of time and money or should I hop on this night shred like a hobo on a ham sandwich?