So I decided that I had to make this thread after I just said the stupidest fucking thing to this girl. So I'm riding on the elevator with this hot ass girl from my dorm floor. On the way up the water that I'm drinking goes down the wrong pipe and I start coughing a fuck ton. By the time we get to our floor I stopped coughing for the most part and we were laughing about it when the girl says "I might have to give you CPR." Being the fucking dumb ass I am, my snap response is "no I'm fine" referring to the fact that I had stopped coughing. While this girl has a boyfriend and most likely didn't mean anything of it the fact that I didn't throw out an "I'd be fine with that" is fucking weak.
B.Ryan"your fat" ...... never tread down that path my friend.
That's pretty bad, but still not as bad as throwing out a "you're fat."
Telling a girl that her instagram game was alot stronger and hyped up then in person
Had a few drinks on a friday or saturday about a year ago. Then this chick invites me over to her house, we had talked for more than a month or something. Went over to her house semi drunk, I was there maybe like an hour. Wen't back home, continued to drink with a friend. I got really fucked up. Went outside for a walk, puked within the 50 yards. Made some funny drunk calls to my mates, and I had this wonderful idea that I should call the chick I were at earlier that evening. She invited me over again, but I said "nah". We hung up after a while, and I went home. Around midnight she called me again and said that I should really get to her house, and I could sleep at her house. I was like, "why should I sleep at your house when I have a nice bed here?" She continued to try convincing me to get back at her place. I was stubborn and said no. And I went to bed after the call.
Note: She started with the pill about 3 weeks after we began to talk, so I know she was down for sex.
tl;dr I was very drunk when a hot chick that I was at earlier that night called me, and tried to convince me that I should get back at her place. No problemo to sleep at her place she said, I replied "why should I sleep at your house when I have a nice bed here?", and I went to bed after the call.
She was also on the pill.
Nacho_Macho_manOnce told her she looked like this
that should be the nicest thing you have said to a girl. Tim Allen is handsome as shit
was in the middle of hooking up with a girl, when she randomly says "I'm getting so fat." i didn't even think she was, but for some reason i just responded "yeah"
Facebook status: Cindy is packing!!!
My comment: yeah packing on weight
Cindy was a very snobby bitchy girl in a college class
"I'll take my robe and wizard hat off"
...
Or however it goes
This thread delivers good ol' laughs.
Anyways
I was at a pub and I saw this chick I knew so I ran up behind her and hugged her from behind then she screamed at was like oh shit I thought someone was going to rape me then I was like I'm not going to rape you because you're obviously going to say yes. She gave me the most awkward disgusted look I just sipped my drink and grabbed another beer.
Ok there was this one night and I was taking the garbage out a few years ago and my hot neighbour Denise was outside doing something aswell. God she was smokin. Anyway, her and I chat about my sweet stunts that I do and then she turns around and says she has to go feed her dog. Right. I've been thinking about Denise for ages now so I muster up all my courage and mumble under my voice;
"You look pretty."
She barely heard me. I hope I can recover from this one.
She turns around and yells out "What did you say? "
I quickly yell without a moment to spare "I SAID YOU LOOK SHITTY GOOD NIGHT DENISE."
daveyjoneshe gets dome for the first time and then when he was leaving the party he says goodbye and kissed her than continued on and said i love you.he never talked to her again. but she is in his class this year, still hasn't talked to her.
hqhahaha thats actually awful.
The only thing I can think of right now is that I for some reason usually say "Noo no Im not drunk enough yet" when guys are trying to make out with me. I dont mean it as in they're so hideous I need to find my extra strong beer goggles first. Its more that I dont uhhh... put my tounge in strangers' orifices if Im not very, very hammered.
They are offended most of the time though. I can understand why.
i dont know, embarassing things happen to me so much that i just kind of repress them now.
i dont know, logical shit.
it's better to let something happen then react, rather than see it coming, mention that you see it coming, and after it happens have them get all defensive over the "i told you so" bullshit.
that's the best advice i can give a dude. don't say that something is going to happen, or make comments about the future even though you see the whole thing unfolding very clearly and obviously.
don't strip a chick of that power to fuck up and bitch about it even though it was totally preventable. cause then you're just a smart-ass know-it-all jackhole with no compassion, or whatever..
Girlfriend asked what type of animal she would be. I replied, "the non-stereotypical pig".
Now she won't stop spamming me with pig emoji's
Maybe it was genius but I was on an urban mission last week and....
girl: "do you have any alcohol in the back of your car?"
me: "I got some on dis dick."
john18061806Maybe it was genius but I was on an urban mission last week and....girl: "do you have any alcohol in the back of your car?"
me: "I got some on dis dick."
oh great, what a shame, that was my 3000th post...
john18061806Maybe it was genius but I was on an urban mission last week and....girl: "do you have any alcohol in the back of your car?"
me: "I got some on dis dick."
Fucking stupid
daveyjonesshe goes to our school, one thing leads to another he gets dome for the first time and then when he was leaving the party he says goodbye and kissed her
What an amateur. Did you ask him how his own spunk tasted?
So when I was just a young lad at 14 years old, which was about 6 months ago, this girl is in the elevator with me. I was eating a hot dog and she said "wow, your hot dog looks really good!" And winked at me. I replied "I would say the same to you, you fatass tranny." And she took a step toward me choked me out and held me to the ground until I told her she was pretty. Pretty much the worst thing I could have said to a 250 pound teenage Asian girl.
StraightbunginSo when I was just a young lad at 14 years old, which was about 6 months ago, this girl is in the elevator with me. I was eating a hot dog and she said "wow, your hot dog looks really good!" And winked at me. I replied "I would say the same to you, you fatass tranny." And she took a step toward me choked me out and held me to the ground until I told her she was pretty. Pretty much the worst thing I could have said to a 250 pound teenage Asian girl.
that didnt happen.
"what are your intentions?"
When you bang someone repeatedly and they are saying they wished you would have kissed them earlier in the...relationship?, makes you wonder. Had to ask, now I'll probably never hear from her again!
once i answered my ex's phone and didnt look at the caller id it was the job she had applied at and was getting a call back for an interview/paperwork date and i blurted out before knowing all that "fuck off bitch she is about to give me a blumpkin" immediately realizing it was her almost future boss and not one of her friends i hung up she never got the call back and theyve never answered her calls either lol didnt get that blumpkin that night...
WampireThere is this girl a grade below me that digs me, but I am not super interested in her and also have a gf. She is just kind of annoying and talks too much. We have lab together and she was talking about some shit, then out of know where she said "You look really good today." I wasn't paying attention so I like half-heard what she said, so it didn't really process in my head. I just looked at her for like a good 20 seconds and then finally I just said "right on, right on." I was lobbing for her having said something rhetorical so that my response made sense. I then realized what she said, panicked, said my bad then walked away.
I would've been laughing so hard had I been there
Sorry double post, I meant to put this along with the other thing I said ^^^
Anyways I had something similar happen (to the story I responded to). Basically this girl said that I am attractive and I replied with "yeah" and I felt pretty stupid once I realized what happened
super stoned walking my golden right after she went swimming. This absolutely 10/10 girl walks up with a golden as well and asks what my name is, i say for some reason say "karhu" aka my dogs then say this is conlon pointing to my dog... the fuck? never even tried to recover. just walked off like it wasnt a big deal
Filet-O-FishToday I was on a triple at sunday river with two other people, I asked if they were dating, the guy said yes the girl said no. Rest of the ride up was pretty awkward But i ended up getting her number later in the day which is cool.
Dude...that is like the smartest thing to say to a girl in front of some dude. What happened have you texted her or seen her?
I don't have a good enough memory to think of anything that far in the past too many stupid things so these are recent.
Was bed with a really hot girl who I had met out and had brought me home from the bar the night before and she something like 'I love that/it' and I enthusiastically responded I love you too. SO LAME!!!!!!!!!!!
This is worse but its over text. Anyways the story goes Im at my friends house and theres a lesbian couple there. When they are going to leave the hotter of the two asks me to call her phone cause she can't find it despite it being in her purse. I asked my buddy the deal when they are gone and he and his roommate almost fell out of the chair laughing at me they said no fing way would she have been trying to flirt or give me her number and they are positive she hasn't been with a guy in 5+ years if ever. After a few drinks a couple days later I was ready to text that number and hit her up. So I did.
The stuff I said to her and talked about I won't repeat on here because its a little too personal (and freaky and the average 16 year old newschooler would be sickened) but again that kind of talk was fine she was liking it and we had deep convo getting to know each other and Im really pumped that Im going to be getting that Christopher Columbus pussy and going somewhere noone had gone in years/ever. But flash forward a few hours/drinks later and I decided to tell her that I would help her find a much hotter GF than hers and that she needed to be a lesbian power couple and find a super hot lesbian GF so she could be the butch in the relationship and to be ready to dump her GF. That didn't go down well.
Really really really stupid who fucks up and throws away an epic mack like that???
So this one time I was walking with this girl, she said she was going to marry a rich guy and live happily ever after. Me responding without thinking the consequences I just went 'if he's rich wouldn't he marry someone better looking.'
Made me realise I should probably think before you speak.
I called my girlfriend a fatty yesterday because she ate the piece of pie she promised to save me. Didn't even apologize. Don't get between me and chocolate pie
-talking with cute girl in the caf at school
-get up to to class
-asks what class she has
-says she isn't going to class
-ask her why
-"I have to go to my uncle's funeral"
-"oh okay, have fun"
Needless to say I avoided eye contact and walked out, she still hates me