brett_fisherthey ask if we were ok and we mad sex sound

why do u have to be so inappropriate?

One time I was skiing by myself around 3 years ago, when I was 15. The people on the lift next to me started sparking up a blunt and I asked if I could get in on the rotation, they said yes. I was having a great time, I started getting paranoid though. I looked over my shoulder to check if anyone I knew was behind me. Sure enough... My dad and extended family. I fled the scene as quickly as a could after I got off the lift. That was pretty awkward.

brett_fisherhe sad awkward / funny

I feel bad for OP every time brett_fisher comments on a thread because I just have to downvote it... Sorry OP :/

On a different note one time at the Dumont Cup, I rode up the lift with Robbie Franco, he told me he skied for Head, I told him I did too. We had a nice laugh, great guy

First time at Snowbird. Waiting on the tram. Dressed in bright orange and blue Armada gear(very easy to pick me out). Tram is about to pull in, I'm filming it with my buddy's gopro(gaper status), fumbling with my poles and gloves in the other hand, rest poles against rail. One pole slips through a crack in the railing, clangs loudly off like 3 pieces of lift equipment on the way down before clattering to the concrete floor garnering everyone's attention. Look around acting like it's not my pole. Everything is fine until a liftie walks below, sees it, asks who's it is. My buddy loudly exclaims,"it's his" pointing at me. Liftie throws it up not quite high enough, clangs and bangs off more shit on its way back down, everyone watching me miss the catch still trying to hold all my other shit in my one hand. Tram is halfway into terminal, liftie throws it to some other dude cuz I'm blocked by tram at this point. get pole, shred the bird.

weirdest thing that ever happend to me on the lift was, i at carinthia and i went into the singles line because i was riding solo and then i got pared up with this wicked old dude and halfway up the lift he decided to tell me how much he hates really cold days because his old man penis gets shrinkage. ive never been in a more awkward situation in my life.

I was at Snowbird, under the chair at Mineral Basin. I dropped like... maybe 5 ft rock face (thats being generous) down to hardpack, double ejected, and rolled a little. Some old guy was skiing down and he helped me get my skis, he was super nice about it. Anyway, on the lift ride up I was with my buddy and 2 randos and I made it sound like I dropped 15 ft or so, and then caught an edge and fell, prompting double ejection. I thought i sounded pretty cool.

Then I hear this voice... "that's pretty funny, but that's not what happened". I look over and there is the same old man who helped me, calling OP out on his shit, sitting next to me on the chairlift.

That was the last time I claimed.

/claim

Zachatac"Shut up you pussy, let's burn."

Man of the year...

when i was about 5, i was getting on the lift with my mom and fell off about 8 feet up. i thought it was hilarious, but my mom freaked out and jumped off too. She almost got kicked out. Another time, someone on my chair was bragging loudly about his latest sexual adventure.

Zachatac"Shut up you pussy, let's burn."

sig'd

Re-post from another thread but still funny nonetheless

"I was riding a quad with my friend on the left and 2 random girls on my right. I asked the girl to my right if she was a pirate what shoulder she would put her parrot on, assuming she was 19ish I proceeded to put my arm around her, she then said she was 15. I was devastated"

E__I dunno, I blackout between laps.

I turn up

brett_fisherso me and some friends were building a jump and some people came bye and it was fogey and they couldn't see us and we were laugh about some thing and they ask if we were ok and we mad sex sound and they sad wtf are u doing and left

ps the jump was sick

Mad sex sounds are the best kinds of sex sounds

I was on a six-seater at a small resort with one two lane road up to the resort. I don't know why they have a six-seater. But the people on either side of me started talking and one guy said did any of you see that asshole in the green jeep who passed everyone on the highway up here? (that was me in the green jeep) so I just joined in a started talking shit about myself with all of them. Kinda awkward at first though.

one day me and my mate made up to troll people, between us were sitting 4 random strangers and we were talking about the weather, god and stuff. kinda awkward for them.

Had a loud fart in a gondala and everyone was looking at me. Still remember it 5 years later.

I was on a lift with Tom Wallisch at Windells when I was in high school and he wanted me to rap. I can't do anything of the sort. My awkward whiteness caused me to freeze and left me unable to speak.

Either when i got on a half hour long chairlift with an 8 year old and his mum and he spent the entire lift journey describing one scene of despicable me. Or this one time, again on a very long lift, i was sat on a tight three seater squashed between two rather portly french men. I speak some french so when they started talking to each other i understood about half of what they said. Then the one on my left turned to me and asked "are you a girl?" to which i replied no and then they replied with "that's a shame," and started talking in French again and ignored me for the rest of the journey.

Either when i got on a half hour long chairlift with an 8 year old and his mum and he spent the entire lift journey describing one scene of despicable me. Or this one time, again on a very long lift, i was sat on a tight three seater squashed between two rather portly french men. I speak some french so when they started talking to each other i understood about half of what they said. Then the one on my left turned to me and asked "are you a girl?" to which i replied no and then they replied with "that's a shame," and started talking in French again and ignored me for the rest of the journey.

I had a older man explain to me that the reason women always have cold fingers and toes is because all our blood is in our uterus....

I was ski instructing in high school and I had a lesson with me on the lift and had put my poles underneath my butt and I was helping the kid with his mittens or something like that and it was time to get off so I figured I would just stand up and pull my poles out but I sorta forgot I had to assist the kid getting off and tried to multi task but the lift was moving to fast and my poles baskets got caught in the back of the chair so my poles scooped me up and I rode halfway around the bull wheel sitting on my poles and I fell like 8 feet. It really hurt the lady parts, thank god I'm not a male. And I had my work jacket on and it was incredibly embarrassing.

So one time me and my friend are about to get on the lift with these two girls we met skiing that day and im all the way on the right with the girls between us. We're about to get on the lift and the one girl next to me decides to take a huge step right. I get railed up the ass by the elbow rest of the lift which pushes me about 15 feet. Skis came off and everything so they stop the lift and i am just like 3 chairs behind the ppl i was with in shame. I was laughed at once we got to the top

*WYO*Once I went up on a two man with this kid from Nebraska who said we was eight years old and right after he told me that he put in a massive dip and told me how he is restoring an '85 mustang.

Sig'd

couldn't stop laughing

I rode on a lift with shaun white at vail during the US open a few seasons back and called him out on losing his access to keystone. made it more awkward for him.

Rode up with a drunk woman who pulled her pants off and pissed of the lift while laughing to her friends intront of us.

Several times Ive been on the lift and the guy next to me is like "Ok so how do you get off? Its my first time"

YoungDaphHungover one morning, going to rake out parks on the other side, had to ride up with ski school. Nerd of an instructor and two children who liked to describe spongebob episodes in full detail. I had to hurl so bad and finally blew chunks about 200 yds from the top and the instructor started freaking out and told me he was gonna talk to my supervisor. My boss just laughed because he was partying with us the night before too and was impressed that I hadn't puked earlier.

God I love park crew.

Got on the lift with some old French Canadian dude way up there somewhere (ski club bus trip), Mt. Orford I think. Got to talking a bit and was surprised to hear he took his wife on their honeymoon in the Poconos(our club is from Pennsylvania). Thought that was a pretty odd coincidence. Sidenote: Orford had by the the best food I have ever had on any ski trip in the east of North America.

Teaching my then GF how to ski and ride the lift, we successfully got on a little triple chair on my home bump of a hill. Went to get off on the top and I told her I like to push on the seat with my hands when I stand up for a little extra forward momentum. Yea, her arm went through the little hand rail thingy and it hooked her elbow as it made the turn on the wheel. She was lifted off the ground and thrown in a semi circle type of hook a good 6 feet from where she eventually let go/was freed from the chair. Not the best first experience with the ski lift.

nikkinopolesI had a older man explain to me that the reason women always have cold fingers and toes is because all our blood is in our uterus....

It's science or something

Not direct but related, My buddy and I were lapping 5 chair in breck and decided that we were going to ask out the lifty at the same time...we planned out a script and everything, but we both bombed, and it went from being a funny joke to feeling very awkward, real, and spontaneous, and she shut us both down sooooper hard. Seeing her like every day for the rest of the ski season made for some laughs though...

some dudes who sat on the chairlift with me thought the snow guns were light poles...